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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a rubbish bridezilla and ask you lot for wedding tips?

116 replies

GreenTeapot · 22/05/2011 07:55

I posted previously to establish whether it was U to put a wedding on a credit card if it was under £1k. The reasoning behind it is that MIL has terminal cancer and we want to do it quickly while she can enjoy the day with us.

Despite us living together for years and years and having DC he wanted to do it properly so we got a ring (I never wear rings but it's actually so nice :)) and told everyone.

We want to do it soon - he says within 6 months, I think sooner the better as poor MIL now has balance problems due to the cancer :(. So, we'll have family only, less than 20 people, for a ceremony with a registrar then a meal. We're doing it in DP's home town to save MIL having to travel, and so I'll need to think about logistics because we live 300 miles away. And we also have a BF baby and a 4 year old DS to think about. Oh and I'm a proper chubster so I'm dreading having to sort out a dress.

Haven't been to a wedding myself for 15 years so I don't know what's expected. I'm pretty laid back about the whole thing but there are already a lot of compromises for me due to the circumstances - which I am completely happy to make because MIL is thrilled about this, but I would prefer not to be swept along with the family organising everything. So I'd love your ideas and suggestions for cheap ways to make it a lovely special day for everyone involved.

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenTeapot · 21/07/2011 08:20

Just wanted to bump this thread to thank everyone for their help, ideas and suggestions.

Tomorrow's the big day!

The venue have been really brilliant so far, flexible and helpful and efficient. Looking forward to today's last minute finishing touches being completed! Must remember to pick up some fizz for breakfast!

We've done ok budget-wise - my outfit cost less than £150 including alterations and shoes, I made up my own favours yesterday, a relative is kindly chauffeuring me and I've begged, borrowed and cobbled my own make-up. DP's family have been very kind in arranging decorations and flowers - dreading having to go and find out what the bill for them is later on though! - and organising someone to do my hair tomorrow morning.

Thanks again - you're all very imaginative and clever. And special thanks to Norks for her amazing kindness in making a beautiful tiara for me. You're wonderful :)

OP posts:
Tillyscoutsmum · 21/07/2011 08:32

I've only just found this thread but just want to wish you, your (almost) DH and your family a fantastic day tomorrow Smile xx

FlubbaBubba · 21/07/2011 08:48

Have a wonderful day tomorrow!! :)

Adversecamber · 21/07/2011 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chinam · 21/07/2011 09:39

Have a wonderful day tomorrow.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 21/07/2011 09:40

Ooh, I wondered what happened. Have a lovely day tomorrow :)

whackamole · 21/07/2011 12:10

What a lovely thing you are doing to include your MIL. I hope things go to plan.

I am getting married next June and we are doing it on a shoestring. Haven't organised anything really yet, but I will put down some of the things I am doing/thinking about:

  • I have bought foam flowers from ebay for my bouquet as the cheapest one I could find was going to be about £40.
  • I intend to splurge on my dress and have one made from a designer on ebay. She is local to me as well so I will go closer to the time and make sure the style suits me before I commit. The dress I want is £210, so really, not much more than a Monsoon dress
  • We have booked and paid a deposit at the registry office. It is not in our area so we have to get the licences at the place in town, they display them for 2 weeks then we can collect and use anywhere.
  • Our ceremony is at 1.45pm, and we are having about 30 people there - immediate family plus ones only, plus children. We are then going to have sandwiches and champagne at our house, and will probably have a sit down meal at our favourite restaurant in the evening.
  • Hoping to get a student to do photos - this is the one thing I am torn over, I really want some beautiful photos (I am terribly unphotogenic) but the cheapest I have found is £450, and TBH I really don't want to pay that much for 1 hours work. I appreciate there is touch up work in the background but I just feel it is too much.

Anyway, those are my thoughts, good luck!

whackamole · 21/07/2011 12:11

Or.....maybe I should have read the whole thread before posting? Blush

Have a wonderful day!

unpa1dcar3r · 21/07/2011 13:59

Congratulations Greentea.
My wedding was under £300 and still married to him donkeys years later so it's more about the marriage than the wedding day but obviously you want to make it nice for yourselves and your MIL.
Is there a local pub near her who would do it for free (the after thing I mean)? Especially if you explain the circs.
As long as guests buy their own drinks. Lay on a small buffet (macro's or similar to buy bulk if you can) and if they want more they can have a pub meal themselves...bridesmaids; got my 3 from BHS wedding section for £40 each. In fact that was my biggest spend!
The carnations; buy the number you want and a roll of tin foil with safety pins, cost pennies rather than pounds doing them yourselves...have a freidn make the cake if poss and the kids bouquets etc make yourself- little baskets with small bunch of sweetpeas of something...head dresses; coat hanger wire with ribbons wrapped round and little silk flowers...
Ebay do gorgeous dresses from Hongkong- my mate got a fab one for £45 (I borrowed mine lol) and they do whatever size you give them.
Hire his suit/page boys suits etc...
Good luck

Post script; my ex husband supplied a whole table of sea food from where he worked; strangest wedding present I got!

Ephiny · 21/07/2011 14:07

Congratulations and have a wonderful day! In my experience the smaller/less formal weddings are usually the nicest, and the most fun and memorable. I'm sure it'll be lovely :)

unpa1dcar3r · 21/07/2011 20:09

Aw just read your previous post (after I posted earlier : ( Doh)
Hope you have the most amazing day, enjoy yourselves and make some lovely memories

redexpat · 21/07/2011 20:30

we bought rings second hand and couldn't believe that they were so cheap. the jeweller told us that there's no VAT on second hand.

A wedding with only 20 guests is going to be special and intimate anyway.

Skip cake, favours. Do your own nails the night before. Do H2Bs nails (if you dont you'll really notice it on the photos). Are you confident enough to do hair/makeup yourself? Borrow what you can - this is quite easy for accessories. you can always ask people to bring food instead of gifts. Ditch table service and go for buffet, or BBQ even!

mumzy · 21/07/2011 21:07

Spend as much as you can on a good photographer and in the circumstances a video of the day. I love looking at my wedding photos 10 years on and because they are good quality it so much better. I organised my wedding within a week as we had to fly abroad for dh's work and came back to UK 4 months later to get married. It was fine having so little time meant I was very focused and it was a lot less stressful than having to deliberate about whether the napkins were peach or apricot!

mumzy · 21/07/2011 21:14

Meant to add that I sourced a lot of things: flowers, cake, tiara, rings from local shops who were very helpful and a lot cheaper than the wedding industry places. I did spend a lot on having the whole of a small country hotel for the ceremony and reception. Having the whole place to ourselves ( 25 guests in total) was really lovely and special

mumzy · 21/07/2011 21:20

Sorry missed your last post, have a wonderful day and just enjoy it!

Jenstar21 · 21/07/2011 21:28

Have a fab time! Was at a wedding last Fri, where there there were only 10 of us, organised in 4 weeks, and it was just wonderful. V emotional and special, as I'm sure yours will be too. Best wishes to you both for the future together.

aquashiv · 21/07/2011 21:29

Ah lovely have a fantastic day sounds perfect.

Graciescotland · 21/07/2011 21:32

I did all of my wedding flowers (bridal bouquet, bridesmaids bouquet and tables) with a thirty pound giftcard from M&S.

We roped in our friends, who formed a band and did all of the photography plus a video at the reception as wedding gifts :)

Oxfam for a dress but be warned it can still cost hundreds of pounds.

Wedding rings in silver, fiver each on ebay.

Make your own invitations, if you have nice handwriting.

Table decorations, budvases ikea 69p with leftover flowers and if you go to poundland they do garden balls which glow and change colour for a £1 unsurprisingly. Strangely hypnotic!

ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 21/07/2011 21:37

Just found your thread and wanted to wish you all the best. I got married in my jeans at the registry office with just my Dad and my DD and our secretary present (and DH of course!) and it only cost us the licence. Tis not about the money. I am sure you will have a fabulous day and I hope your MIL enjoys it.

AuntiePickleBottom · 21/07/2011 21:48

sorry should of read the whole thread 1st..... hope you have a great day

Original poster
GreenTeapot · 21/07/2011 21:49

Thanks all very much. The rest of the family are all either travelling or trying to resolve last minute wardrobe disasters. I'm chilling out, enjoying my last Pimm's as a "single" woman and then to bed. Cheers! Wine :)

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenTeapot · 21/07/2011 21:55

I should also add that MIL is greatly improved since having palliative radiotherapy and it's looking likely that she'll be able to have a really lovely day tomorrow. She's lost her hair but the wig's so fab I reckon she's in danger of outshining me!

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 21/07/2011 21:58

Lovely - Enjoy your Pimms - I might go and pour one myself to join your celebrations. And so glad your MIL is feeling well. It's amazing what they can do with wigs now!

Inertia · 21/07/2011 22:22

Wishing you a wonderful wedding day GreenTeapot!