to be a rubbish bridezilla and ask you lot for wedding tips?

[GreenTeapot]

I posted previously to establish whether it was U to put a wedding on a credit card if it was under £1k. The reasoning behind it is that MIL has terminal cancer and we want to do it quickly while she can enjoy the day with us.

Despite us living together for years and years and having DC he wanted to do it properly so we got a ring (I never wear rings but it's actually so nice :)) and told everyone.

We want to do it soon - he says within 6 months, I think sooner the better as poor MIL now has balance problems due to the cancer :(. So, we'll have family only, less than 20 people, for a ceremony with a registrar then a meal. We're doing it in DP's home town to save MIL having to travel, and so I'll need to think about logistics because we live 300 miles away. And we also have a BF baby and a 4 year old DS to think about. Oh and I'm a proper chubster so I'm dreading having to sort out a dress.

Haven't been to a wedding myself for 15 years so I don't know what's expected. I'm pretty laid back about the whole thing but there are already a lot of compromises for me due to the circumstances - which I am completely happy to make because MIL is thrilled about this, but I would prefer not to be swept along with the family organising everything. So I'd love your ideas and suggestions for cheap ways to make it a lovely special day for everyone involved.

Congratulations! DH and I organised our wedding in 2 months, and had a 4mo and 17mo so here are my top tips:

As you can pick any register office, see if there may be a more picturesque one nearby, or what rooms are available, and outside space for photos.

Flowers - supermarket flowers are fine, if you are confident to do a hand-tied bouquet all you need are florists wire and tape and some wide satin ribbon. And buttonholes too (do them the day before and keep them in the fridge).

Agree, don't mention 'wedding' to the restaurant until details have been agreed. We had a champagne afternoon tea in an hotel, and the kitchen made a huge cake instead of the usual array of little ones as a 'wedding cake'.

Ebay is great for boys outfits - look for monsoon or similar.

I made my own invites, and favours were chocolates with a hand-made label tied on.

I did give up BF beforehand so we could get away alone - broke with tradition and had a night in fancy hotel before the wedding. DC stayed with relatives and were brought to the wedding. DH & I had a lovely relaxing morning, pottering around. I tied my bouquet, had my hair done, and we jumped in a taxi to meet everyone at the register office. Spent wedding night at same hotel, so no packing/unpacking.

BILs were asked to take photos and video. It was good to have someone taking charge of getting a more formal group shot.

One of the best bits was the drunken evening DH & I spent arguing over choosing the music for the ceremony.

cute waistcoat on ebay, would look cool with plain trousers and a white shirt.

It took my 8 weeks to plan my wedding. We had a very informal day. Register office, followed by a buffet at a local boozer. The buffet cost £100, we had a cake from M&S which SIL bought. Some cheap fizz for a couple of toasts. We had about 20 guests, made our own button holes. The bigges expense was outfits, my dress was £750 and DH's suit was £150 (we bought not hired). We didnt have exclusive use of the pub but it was saturday afternoon and not that busy. My mum took photo's as its her hobby.
BHS do some very good quality cheaper end wedding dresses, and Primark do cheap suits for your DH (we couldnt have primark as DH is a 4xl ).

Greenteapot where are you? Because the Scope charity shop in central Leeds, on The Headrow, has a 'charity wedding shop' floor which has secondhand wedding dresses etc on their top floor. Worth a drive?

(Disclaimer: it did as of last year, anyhow...)

We had a lovely informal inexpensive wedding. Here are some of the things we did to save money:

We hired a large barn on a local farm (one that is used for functions), for very little, then we had the local pub in to do catering - basically a large buffet (you could do this yourself, tbh).

We did a Calais booze cruise to buy the wine and a few bottles of fizz.

My mum and I spent £20 on flowers at the local market, bought some cheap glasses from Ikea, a bag of pebbles and some ribbon, and did some quick stylish table centres.

My aunt made the wedding cake.

My best mate and my brother both did photos.

Another one with a high-street dress (£180, from Jigsaw). No bridesmaids dresses, just one maid of honour (my sister) who wore whatever she wanted.

Did my own make-up (but I did splash out on a hairdresser).

No party favours, table plans, poncey printed napkins etc.

I'm not sure what we spent, but it was way less than the traditional "average" cost, yet we had over 100 guests. Perfect.

Don't be afraid to ask friends and family what their skills/hobbies are. My maid of honour turned out to have had a saturday job in a florist so she did the flowers. My mum made the cake and decorated it (with the help of everyone in her cake decorating class, inc the teacher!). My step-dad took quite a few extra photos as he did photography as a hobby. DH designed the invites and his work paid for the printing of them as a gift.

Decide what you want to spend out on and what not. I wanted a decent photographer (ask friends and family if they know of anyone, especially a decent amateur - be sure to list the photos you want and nominate someone to work with the photographer to get everyone together). I also had a nice wedding car which cost a bit. The meal was in a local pub though (in their function room) and there was only a choice of veggie or non-veggie! I had my hair done but did my own make up.

Friends did the whole not telling the reception venue it was a wedding. No top table, they moved around to each big table of guests in turn (for each course) a couple on each big table had been prepped to move at the same time to free up two seats. Was a brilliant idea and everyone chatted to the B&G during the meal.

You can also get cheap vases etc from Ikea. Same friends as above put a small vase of flowers in a larger dish/vase filled with sweets. Cheap to buy shop sized tubs from Macro etc.

Supermarket cakes can be lovely. You could add something special by getting a ready-made flower arrangement from a cake decorating shop and some matching ribbon to put around the edge.

Have a wonderful day. It doesn't have to be expensive or stressful if you don't want it to be

Dress - Coast or ebay
wobbly bits - spanx or ultimo (the ultimo ones with shoulder straps dont roll down!!)
Dont bother with favours
Have a summer date (not too far off now) so that weather might be ok and have it in someone's garden. Ask everyone you know if you can borrow their christmas fairy lights and festoon everywhere for a magical atmos.
Can everyone bring a bowl of something for the buffet?

Sainsburys fizz often wins awards and isnt too expensive...

These are wonderful ideas, thank you all so much (and Norks especially :)) - we're at MIL's just now but when I get back to the PC I'll note down all the things I could use and swing into action :)

you are very welcome milady

Ood luck and congrats

I'm a wedding photographer. I agree it's not cheap but your paying for a skill that has no second chances. If you live nr a arts training college/uni why not ask if there are any students that will do it for a small cash n hand fee. They will have a good eye and know there way around a good camera

Indoor photography in dark rooms is not easy if you don't know what your doing.

Flowers wise a few gerberas or lilys in a cheap supermarket vase looks lovely and you can carry a few stems tied with ribbon to match

Hey greenteapot how are the plans coming along? Have you thought of a colour scheme?

just keep your eye out for a dress
I really didn't want a "proper" wedding dress.
I found 2, one was on a sale rack in Debenhams for £60, and one was from M & S (bridalwear) online for £45( don't think they do a range anymore). I actually saw a beautiful one in TKMaxx yesterday for £50.
we had a very cheap day for the registry office do, just a meal at my favourite family restaurant.

I'm getting there, thanks :)

I'm going to order a few dresses online to try. It's proving to be a bit complex to organise getting married due to residency and boring stuff like that but it's hopefully getting sorted out and I think we have a venue for a meal afterwards :).

I was busy last night but hopefully tonight I'll sit down with my notebook and write out all the best tips and ideas from this thread and start actually doing stuff.

Aiming for the end of July :)

Today I

• found out what paperwork we both needed and got the forms
• sorted the registry office
• sorted the venue for a meal
• shortlisted wee places for drinks after the ceremony (I'm Scottish, what more can I say?! )
• found out about kilt hire for DS
• found at least 5 dresses I'd like to try, multiple shoes and some jewellery
• found invitations
• phoned those family members who won't be invited to explain why :(

I don't know how people manage to make planning a wedding take so long

My wedding had a " burnt orange" colour theme ( sounds but looked great on the day!).. I bought all the men in the party identical orange ties and asked them to wear a dark suit.. so they all looked co ordinated at very little cost.

Echo what others have said about getting the best photographer you can afford... the photos will last a lifetime so you want them to be right.

Hooray, GreenTeapot, this is really going to happen.
I need to know, for my own secret reasons if the jewellery you chose is gold or silver?
Well done with the phoning people to say they won't be coming...I bet everybody was pretty cool when you explained.

Monsoon do a range of bridalwear at reasonable prices...

As your budget is really low I would involve those closest to you...incorporating their skills and talents. Get people baking and using their creative skills...ask them to bring contributions for your wedding (instead of a gift). I'm sure once people know what you're doing they'll be really keen to help.

You could have an afternoon tea style reception...very popular now.

Have a weekday wedding...it'll be cheaper...and any service providers are more likely to be available.

Definitely do your own make up....

We planned our wedding in 7 weeks, and for minimal cost.

By booking venue and photographer etc so late we got everything at half - or less - price which meant we could have a nicer venue, and had a lot of freebies thrown in too (room for me overnight, honeymoon suite, etc)

My dress was a monsoon bridal one - I saw some lovely ones in charity shops too (Dove House had a whole shop dedicated to them!) and my shoes were from Schuh. I saw little point in spending hundreds/thousands on an outfit I'd wear once. For the bridesmaids I bought monsoon dresses and shoes - and as they were evening wear these were their thank you gifts too, as I had them come shopping with me and pick out what they wanted.

Husband found his jacket on ebay!

We got a local hairdresser to do my hair, and a local make up consultant for the face. Flowers were basic and unusual - and perfect, at a fraction of what a traditional bouquet would have cost!

Husband's Mum made the wonderful cake.

By saving a lot, we could also afford our perfect rings, which was great - definitely agree on the prioritising spend and save.

And only invite who you really want. Don't do family politics. I had 6 guests, including my son. Anyone else I'd have invited would have really been because I felt I HAD to, and I didn't feel like paying out for a meal for people who I rarely see except at "events". Whilst I'm sure there were complaints and bad feelings, I heard none of them. Unusual in my family.

Ooooh yes, it's going to happen :)

Silver jewellery Norks (well, white gold, technically, no idea how you tell the difference?!), although I have ordered some pretend pearls to check out .

My family were all lovely about it. We're going to have a party at a later date for everyone who would otherwise have been invited.

I've spent a shocking amount on my credit card ordering one of every dress I like - hopefully I'll find one I like!

The only time the registry office can do is 10am so we'll be having lunch instead of dinner. Bit of a bummer because it means my family will have to stay the night before as well, but I think we're just going to book and pay for all of their rooms for the night of the wedding, which will eat our budget but it's important that they can be there and enjoy it. We're already splashing out on the luxury suite for ourselves that night.

Photographer's just not an option but we'll all take loads of pictures, it'll be OK. I don't photograph well at all and I don't want to spend half my total wedding budget on getting someone to produce more photos for me to hide away in disgust!

I think that's it just about covered ... I hope!

I'm still mulling over details and things so all ideas most very welcome :)

monsoon for the wedding dress - reasonable and attractive. off the peg. monsoon is also good for bridesmaids.

Great suggestions, thank you! And I'd be delighted to have any ideas on what style to go for - I'm 5'3" and all belly so I've been looking at empire line things with v necks, but I don't ever wear dresses so it's a bit of a stab in the dark :)

We had a 3 tier wedding cake from Asda (they did 3 different sizes of cake so we just stacked them and decorated with ribbon and a cake topper from ebay) - total cost was less than £40 and it was lovely.

We also avoided using a professional photographer as so many friends had issues with theirs (from poor quality pictures to companies going bust and not letting them have the photos). We were lucky enough to have a friend who was a talented amateur photographer and she did a wonderful job. Would also recommend contacting a college or photography club. At the end of the day how many people still have their wedding photos on display a few years after the wedding or look at the albums enough to warrant the £1000s you can easily spend on them?

I wouldn't worry about spending lots of money on invitations either - like favours most of them end up in the bin.

Have a wonderful day