to be a rubbish bridezilla and ask you lot for wedding tips?

[GreenTeapot]

I posted previously to establish whether it was U to put a wedding on a credit card if it was under £1k. The reasoning behind it is that MIL has terminal cancer and we want to do it quickly while she can enjoy the day with us.

Despite us living together for years and years and having DC he wanted to do it properly so we got a ring (I never wear rings but it's actually so nice :)) and told everyone.

We want to do it soon - he says within 6 months, I think sooner the better as poor MIL now has balance problems due to the cancer :(. So, we'll have family only, less than 20 people, for a ceremony with a registrar then a meal. We're doing it in DP's home town to save MIL having to travel, and so I'll need to think about logistics because we live 300 miles away. And we also have a BF baby and a 4 year old DS to think about. Oh and I'm a proper chubster so I'm dreading having to sort out a dress.

Haven't been to a wedding myself for 15 years so I don't know what's expected. I'm pretty laid back about the whole thing but there are already a lot of compromises for me due to the circumstances - which I am completely happy to make because MIL is thrilled about this, but I would prefer not to be swept along with the family organising everything. So I'd love your ideas and suggestions for cheap ways to make it a lovely special day for everyone involved.

Wooden roses for the bouquet, very cheap and last, wish I had done that for my wedding.

Make your own invites. Make your own table decs. I went to the pound shop and bought some square vases, church candles and some little plastic flower to put around the base of the candles garlands, they looked fine! I also bought some glass candle sticks and candles as well. The table decorations I gave away to guests afterwards.

I had the M&S cake at my wedding and it was apparently very nice (I hate wedding cake). Serve it up as dessert. Again, you can buy some decoration from a craft shop very cheaply to decorate it in your choice of colours.

Think you are doing a wonderful thing for your MIL.

How old is your ds? Does he feed often in the day? Might be an idea to get a dress that you can pull down at the neckline, and wear a lacy shrug or shawl over it?
this is gorgeous

or this available in black or teal

some nice dresses here

Didn't explain, those links are for breastfeeding dresses, all

I don't see there's anything wrong with DP's family doing a lot of the organising, for the simple reason that they know the locale and may have the best ideas/contacts for keeping the costs down in that specific place.

DP presumably know that area too, so can be roped in to make sure that their ideas are sane, described to you accurately and in tune with what you want. You still then get to do all the planning (the important bit), even if someone else has to do the pre-selection, haggling and booking for you.

I second all the recommendation about EBay about your dress - as you'll still be BFing, this could be a challenge and you might want to think about getting two (especially if you're handy with a needle and can alter make radical alterations to permit access). Otherwise, could you take the bodice off a wedding dress, and wear the skirt with a gorgeous jacket (try Chinese satin/ embroidered ones for opulence which doesn't break the bank) - which you might wear again.

Any links to the local WI? They can be good providers of arranged flowers at a much lower rate than a commercial florists.

We were already seated in the RO so I couldn't do anything before the service so all the way through I prayed to Our Lady for heavenly guidance. Then after the couple had left the room and the rest of the wedding party had started to file out I spoke briefly to the Brides Mam and myself and DH climbed out a back window so we didn't have to go out the front. DH was pissing him self laughing until I started crying I was mortified. The Bride pretended to take it in good part but she was livid, I wrote her a letter of apology but she has never really forgiven me.

It is still refered to as Mams day of shame!

Aw I just wrote a big post and my phone ate it

I'd ask SIL to sort it but she's caring for MIL and has enough on her plate.

Thank you all for the fab ideas though. DS could help make gingerbread favours, and I like the idea of cupcakes for the cake. I'm also going to inspect DP's aunt's back garden because it might be big enough to do something with, great idea! I'm a 16/18 so will try eBay and Monsoon, thanks for that.

Excited now :)

Well to be fair to you Bees, if she is going to wear a high street dress then surely she should have accepted that that could happen and not get funny with you. Especially after you apologised, it was hardly your fault was it?

beesimo!

Exactly, it's not as though Bees turned up in White lace! My monsoon dress wasfrom their bridal range btw, and I reckon if ou do wear standard high street fashion you should accept the risk that a female guest could show up in similar :)

Glad you're excited now GreenTeapot, it IS exciting! You could make your own bunting as well, I made some last Xmas - just use crimping scissors to cut triangles out of nice fabric and sew them onto wide ribbon. Easy as pie!

How lovely that you are being so unselfish about your big day. You put bridezillas to shame, that your MIL is so ill really puts all the petty nonsense associated with so many weddings in perspective. I've got a dress suggestion, check out Vivien of holloway, lovely 50s style dresses, really flattering on curvy figures, I wore one on my own wedding day, withtmuch cheaper than a 'proper'' wedding dress but still looks really special.
I suggest you don't tell the restaurant its for a wedding recewption, most places seem to triple their prices at the mention of a wedding, just say it's for a family party , baloons can look lovely and really make the place look decorated and special, without the expense of flowers.
Best of luck, you sound like a lovely caring person I hope you get the wonderful day you deserve!

We had a wedding on the cheap.... our "reception" was a tea party/buffet in a garden. lots of wine and luckily lots of sunshine. was far more fun than a sit down reception children could run around and enjoy themselves. as we didnt have a sit down meal we didnt bother with favours and noone noticed.
wear a nice frock you like rather than some huge white thing costing thousands.

we didnt have a proper photographer either- mainly 'caus we hate posing for photos. loads of photos taken by family and we picked out favourites.

Lots of great tips above!

If at all possible I would go for a professional photographer even if it's just for one couple photo and one group photo. Would be a real shame if the amateur ones were too dark/cut people's heads off/MIL was looking the other way.

You will struggle to get a decent photographer to do just a couple of shots tbh. They tend to do packages and you will be lucky to get a package for less than your total budget, they charge LOADS!

I know alot of people who had amateur pics and they all turned out fine. You get people picking their noses and looking the wrong way on professional shots too!

Congratulations!

I think it's lovely you're doing this with your MIL in mind.

Tips:

• If you have bridesmaids, get them to wear a frock they already have and ask them to chat to each other so they co-ordinate/don't clash. They will love you.

• Any friends/family who have gardens, get them to pick flowers for you. Or if you have your heart set on fancy flowers, buy them wholesale (about 70 quid for direct from Holland, more than you could possibly need). Single bunches with lots of one flower look very classy, much nicer imo than fancy 'done' flowers messed about with pearl pins and glitter.

• Get someone to make you a cake/buy one from M&S (very good!) and decorate with fresh fruit and flowers.

• Totally agree about getting a mate to do photos, but would also say - get somone to do a couple of reels in black and white. Black and whites are much easier to make look professional and polished than colour.

• See if you can book somewhere in walking distance from where you're having the ceremony. Then (except perhaps for MIL?) you won't need to book, or worry about, cars.

OK...I got married 12 years ago and I;

I made my invites/orders of service/thank yous (although you can now get cheap set on e bay to make up yourself)
Made my cake (although you can get ready iced ones and decorate them yourself or put flowers on them)
If you have the wedding on weekday it will be on average 20-30% cheaper than a saturday!
Have a sit down afternoon tea rather than a sit down meal....wish I'd done that now!
Do you want an evening reception?????
The ready tied flowers you can get from most shops now (m&S, tesco, sainsburys) are really lovely and if you put a bow round them will make lovely wedding bouquets (wish I had done it!)
Places like asda and bhs and NEXT do lovely bridal wear now (didnt when I got married) and john lewis and debenhams do prom dresses that would be lovely for bridesmaids.

Have a lovely day!

greenteapot, I have pm'd you about a tiara

DP and I are getting married soon and have saved a lot by:

-Buying accessories on ebay. DP also got his suit from there and we got DD's entire outfit (monsoon) for about £7 with P&P. My shoes cost £2.70, are gorgeous and have never been worn.
-Ordering invites on-line.
-Having a low-key reception.
-Accepting a friend's offer to grow and arrange flowers for the day.
-Tasking niece (bridesmaid aged 13) with finding her own dress - she chose a stunning dress which she bought in the high street (Coast sale) and is pleased to be wearing what she wants to wear.
-Asking a friend to take the photographs.
-Asking another musician friend to play as the ceremony starts.

All the best.

Oh whay colour scheme are you having?

Congratulations and I really think its lovely, at the end of the day you will have a day to remember and it will mean so much to you all that MIL will be there.

I got married 12 years ago and we paid for it all ourselves with family and friends helping in ways they could. I "scrimped" on certain things and "splurged" on others. And it was all perfect.

• I got married in church on a Friday - turns out someone was getting married there on the Saturday so we went half on the flowers for the church. And the flowers were all bought from the local supermarket so not expensive in the slightest and someone from the church arranged them all. My Mum made bows with ribbons to decorate the pew ends.

• the local hall was cheaper on a Friday to, it had a bar - all guests just paid for their own drinks to. There was a guy who worked in the hall who did the meals for us - basic food like melon for starters, steak pie or chicken with veg and a veg choice for main course and then a desert. Simple, cheap and everyone loved the food. Later on for night guests a friend had did a buffet for me.

• to decorate the hall I bought metallic balloons for the walls, cheap plastic dishes for the tables and filled them with water and floating candles. It was lovely, cheap and effective.

• bought a basket out of a charity shop and made the favours myself - little plastic discs for the sugar almond favours and covered them in coloured nets with ribbons to match my bridesmaid dress (which was hired).

• flower girls dress was out of BHS and her hair accessories I got in Claires accessories, it wa a lovely white fluffy headband.

• Im a size 22 and wanted a big white dress so I got one form a shop, it was expensive but nowhere as expensive as some dresses you see nowadays. Shoes, veil, headress etc were all bought in the sales. Im Scottish so my DH and pageboys were all in hired kilts.

• invites were just bought out of Clinton cards, the day ones were cards and the nightime ones paper.

• my Aunt had a jaguar car at the time and her DP took me to the church in that

• knew a DJ who did the disco for me cheaply

• my cousin did my make up

• hired a professional photographer and video guy, wanted "proper" photos etc (not that there is anything wrong in the slightest with friends doing it! and was so glad I did, my Mum is dead now and i love looking at my phots and reminder of a wonderful day. Saying that prices varied wildly and I shopped around and found a really reasonable guy.

If I was getting married now Ebay would be my friend!

I love the idea of a party out someones back door, if the weather had been more reliable I would loved to have done that!

And Im sure Ive seen some lovely plain wedding type cakes - in Asda, that you could decorate yourself.

I enjoy making cakes, if you lived closer to me I would have loved to have made you loads of cupcakes that you could have put on a big stand. Do you know anyone that bakes?

Honestly all they are are flour, butter, sugar and eggs and a wee bit vanilla essence - and then make coloured swirly icing (that matches your colour scheme) to decorate with edible flowers, silver balls, glitter etc

The nicest weddings I have been to were the most relaxed. One was at the the registry office, to the pub next to the rregistry office for a drink and then to a nearby restaurant for a meal. Was great fun and wouldn't have cost much. Also went to one in a church where afterwards the do was in the church hall - a buffet, and lots of people in the congegation had made the food, were serving it and helping to clear up.

Also went to a fun one that was a picnic in a park - bring food to share. Very very cheap and fun.

I think all the extras like party favours, flowers, centre pieces, etc can look nice, but don't really make any difference to how enjoyable the day is. I think the most important things are:

1. That you are very happy with how you look - so although you can get fabulous cheap dresses, don't stint on paying for your hair to be doneand if you want it, your make up being done by someone who knows what they are doing..
2. That the atmosphere is relaxed. IME the more complicated the wedding e.g. releasing white doves, etc, the less enjoyable. So don't worry about unnecessary extras.
3. That the food and drink is nice. But this does NOT mean posh. A nice meal in a pub, great picnic food or a nice buffet is great.
4. That you and your DH are obviously happy. This will make others happy too to see that you are obviously in love.

At a charity I am involved in we often decorate for "posh" events on the cheap. What we normally do is buy balloons of 1 colour or at most 2, hire a helium gas cylinder and then at each table and round the venue have clusters of balloons with matching ribbons tied together. Can look very effective if you use classy colours.

Also tea lights in jam jars and low lighting can look great and is very easy to do.

Skip the wedding cake, or get someone to make it. If there's only 20 of you you could easily have fairy cakes.

You do need a bouquet to hold, otherwise you dont know what to do with your hands. Go to a florist and look at the kind of decorations they have and ask what will be in season when your planned date is.

If you want a venue for a reception do then dont tell them it's a wedding. A sit down dinner for a big birthday party. Lunches are cheaper than dinners, and people drink less. Also you dont have to have a party afterwards.

As for the dress, A line will give you a waist and hide the rest. You will probably go round a few bridal shops (when you have time and are relaxed) and you will get a feel for which assistants you like. Stick with them. I found the lower priced ones were more friendly. Do you know anyone locally who has got married recently? Ask them where they got theirs from.

I had pretty sketchers under my dress. They cost 30 quid, were sooo comfy and I have worn them again.

I wouldn't skrimp on a photographer. Are you or your partner on FB? If it's in his home town look at his friends' wedding pics. Send them messages and ask who did them.

Jewellery can always be borrowed from someone.

I recommend you both have manicures. You will notice it in the pictures if you dont, especially the ones of you signing the register.

Table decorations: fruit bowl with floating candles.

Just make sure it's your day, and enjoy it.