not to have reported this man?

[CantTell]

My boss, who acted massively inappropriately with me. Started off just being 'friendly', then progressed to putting his hand up my skirt and trying to kiss me, and being quite unpleasant when he was refused.

I haven't told anyone official about it. I couldn't face having to explain it, and having people doubt it. Plus he has a wife and children - how would it affect them if he lost his job for something like that (if he even did lose his job - he is very senior, wouldn't be surprised if it was all hushed up)? I know it was his fault for doing it, but wouldn't I be partly responsible for the problems it might cause them if I did anything about it?

I my be mistaken but I get the impression you're worried you might have somehow led this guy on. You haven't. Women are not in a state of perpetual consent. Not saying 'stop' when he kissed you doesn't remove your right to say no now.

You have the right to say no at any time. You have the right to feel safe. Make yourself safe, you deserve nothing less. Good luck, op.

Canttell, well done for making a stand, and the fact he reacted by tipping files off your desk shows you what a pathetic bully he is. However, I would say you need to make it clear to him that it's not just the fact that he's a married man and he's 'making you feel bad' it's the fact that he is behaving unprofessionally and assualting you. I would say, if he tries it again, say to him and you need to be quiet yet firm 'I've made my feelings clear. Keep your hands to yourself or I'll staple them to the desk.'

You are right that you can't change him. However, you need to take steps to protect yourself and other women who may come into contact with him.
I know it's hard, but in the example I gave you above about what happened to me, the fear of what he would do was worse than speaking up. He never touched me or any of the other girls again cos he knew I would speak out about it. Afterwards, he didn't speak to me unless he had to, and that was fine by me. By being assertive with him, I took away his power.

If you don't feel you can be more assertive or go to HR at the moment, you need to gather more evidence. Do you have a phone that can record or a webcam on your computer? If so, I'd leave them on when he's around and see if you can gather some evidence of his behaviour. Then I'd go to HR.

Stay strong and remember that you have done nothing wrong. He is a sexual predator, and, as I've said earlier, if he did this to you in the street it would be sexual assualt. Just because it happens in the workplace with someone who's your boss does not make it any different. He is relying on your fear to allow him to get away with it. Your fear for your job, your fear for what he will do next and your fear that you won't be believed. Please take charge as he is relying on your confusion and fear to keep on bullying you.

I almost feel like getting a MN trip organised so we can come in and sort him out for you.

CantTell. You have one other option. If you feel he is so high up that he can't really be touched in the organisation, then you need to go to the people he has no influence over. The police. A sexual assult is a sexual assualt. Just because it is in the workplace it does not mean that it is any less of a crime.

A visit from the police will go on a record he can't touch or influence. It will also send a very strong message about how serious you are. Added to that, any poor reference he may give you can be easily countered by the comment "He was upset because I reported him to the police for sexual assult"

What did you decide to do, cant tell?