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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to charge friends going rate for childminding?

105 replies

whethergirl · 20/05/2011 22:50

My neighbours are friends of mine and so is our ds, who go to the same school. Over the last few years I've helped them out with babysitting as they both work. I've been happy to do this as favours, they are always happy to help me if I need anything, as friends do.

They told me the other day they were going to interview a childminder to pick up their ds from school a couple of days a week, and some full days during the school hols. They told me they were thinking about asking me, but I think they were feeling a bit awkward about it. But we agreed, as I need the money and they need a childminder, it would actually be a perfect arrangement.

I told them, as they were friends, I would not charge them as much as their usual childminder (they have another regular childminder who does weekends and late evenings). They pay her £6ph, I said I would accept £4. They said no, they were happy to pay me the full rate. Anyway, the conversation ended but I went away and decided that I would offer to charge them £5 ph, all inclusive - meaning any extra costs for lunch, entry fees etc, I'd be happy to absorb. This is because they are friends, and I don't want to take the piss.

I looked after their ds from 12-6 today (inset day), took the kids to the farm. She handed me an envelope, said that there was change included for snacks, farm entry etc and rushed off. I was surprised to find £50 inside! £40 notes and £10 change. This works out to more than £6 per hour!

I was going to tell them that it was too much, but my friend reckons I should just keep it, and at most, hand over any change from the £10 for expenses (but spent about £10 on expenses anyway).

AIBU to keep the cash? I just feel that because we're friends, I shouldn't take it. On top of it all, the other childminder came and picked him up 20 mins early!

OP posts:
Rosebud05 · 20/05/2011 22:53

You need a contract with an agreed amount. Keep the money, though tell them it makes you feel a bit awkward and that you both need to agree an amount and what that includes and stick with it.

bubblecoral · 20/05/2011 22:56

I'm assuming you are a registered childminder?

I think you need to have a proper chat to your friend about contracts etc. It's very kind of you to not want to accept full price, but maybe they want to pay full price because they want to use you in a proffessional capacity, not a friendly one. It's great if you are babysitting for a friend, but if there is ever a problem, a line between friend and proffessional childcare provider needs to be clear. I would expect more from my childminder in terms of reliability and taking my choices into consideration that I would from a friend who was doing me a favour.

You really really need to sort this out now before anything goes wrong, and get a contract signed so that you all know where you stand.

Flisspaps · 20/05/2011 22:57

As Rosebud says, you need a contract with an agreed amount - without a contract I don't think you're insured should something happen whilst the children are in your care.

If they then choose to pay you more, then don't dispute it.

skybluepearl · 20/05/2011 22:57

she wants to pay you the full rate because she can and she values your hard work. just say thankyou - you can always ask again if she is happy with the hourly rate.

5318008 · 20/05/2011 22:57

how old are the children please?

Grabaspoon · 20/05/2011 22:58

I hope you're a registered CM as you can't do what you're doing without being one.

5318008 · 20/05/2011 22:59

Graba hold your horses, the children may be over 8 Smile

Original poster
whethergirl · 20/05/2011 23:44

They have one ds aged 5. I am not a registered childminder. I have babysat for their ds loads of times though, unpaid. I think they are just feeling awkward about asking me for any more favours, which is why they were going to employ a childminder.

OP posts:
Original poster
whethergirl · 20/05/2011 23:47

bubblecoral - what exactly would you expect different from a childminder, than you would a friend? I don't think I'd do anything differently as a childminder or as a friend. DS gets fed, taken out and taken care of the same.

OP posts:
lookingfoxy · 20/05/2011 23:48

Keep the extra and use it for similar expenses for their ds in the future, tell them this is what you will be using the money for...?

merrywidow · 20/05/2011 23:49

popcorn anyone ?

Original poster
whethergirl · 20/05/2011 23:51

I wouldn't be comfortable with a contract. They have been friends for years, I'm doing what I always do for them, except they are now paying me for it. I will still have their DS over as a playmate for my DS and NOT get paid for it too.

We would never fall out over the money...remember, I am happy to be paid less!

OP posts:
5318008 · 20/05/2011 23:54

okay

childcare for under 8s is regulated if payment (money) changes hands

you need to register as a childminder to avoid breaking the law

Original poster
whethergirl · 20/05/2011 23:54

I was thinking along those lines lookingfoxy.

I know I'm about to get flamed for something, I'm not sure exactly what for though.

OP posts:
pooka · 20/05/2011 23:57

You are being paid. In order to be paid for the care you should be registered.

What if you crashed the car or the ds came to accidental harm? Friendship could easily cone under strain under those circs and as an unregistered paid childminder you are leaving yourself in a vulnerable position in m opinion.

Of course this doesn't apply if it is an occasional unpaid favour. But that's not what this is.

MumblingRagDoll · 20/05/2011 23:57

The only trouble with accpting random amounts like that is sometmes they may hange the amount and there may not be enough....for activities etc.

I sugest you tell them that £5 a hour is what you will take.....then agree on the hours...and any expenses....and if they give more then give it back. You can keep a record oh hours and expenses in a book for yourself.

MumblingRagDoll · 20/05/2011 23:58

To all those who say she needs to be registered...woulld you say the same to a teenaer who was paid to babysit? Hmm

5318008 · 21/05/2011 00:00

I'm not sure if you realise that you could land in a heap of trouble

there are laws to observe around the care of children under 8 years old

have you insurance? a current first aid cert? suitable resources and space to accomodate the needs of the children? food handling training?

MumblingRagDoll · 21/05/2011 00:01

But how come people pay teenagers to babysit all the time then?

RitaMorgan · 21/05/2011 00:01

Legally you need to be registered if you're going to work as a childminder from your home.

worraliberty · 21/05/2011 00:02

The child was with you til 6pm and then onto another childminder and they have a childminder at weekends too?

When do they ever get to see their child? Boarding school might be a better option in the long run Sad

RitaMorgan · 21/05/2011 00:03

Mumbling - if you work in the child's home you don't have to be registered as you're a nanny/babysitter. The only issue is tax.

5318008 · 21/05/2011 00:03

babysitting takes place in the child's home, childminding takes place in the CM's home

Hmm right back atcha

MumblingRagDoll · 21/05/2011 00:04

So the OP could take her DC and go over to her neighbours home and care for them there...and then she would be legally fine?

RitaMorgan · 21/05/2011 00:06

Mumbling - yes, and the friends would be her employers so would need to be aware of any tax/NI/employers NI issues, legally obliged to provide a contract, holiday pay etc.

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