Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

returning from maternity leave onto sick leave

76 replies

undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 18:38

I've got depression/PTSD resulting from a nightmare birth that resulted in permanent physical harm. I can't really face returning to work. I can't decide whether I should return onto sick leave though as I could get a doctor's note for PTSD as am having counselling for this.

AIBU to return onto sick leave even though I'll probably never go back??

OP posts:
FattyAcid · 20/05/2011 18:41

why do you think you won't go back?

Longtalljosie · 20/05/2011 18:44

If you are suffering from depression, then you're not really in a position to make long-term, life changing decisions I would argue.

What did you plan to do, before the birth? Was the plan to have the baby and then go back?

If you had planned to return to work then yes, I would go onto sick leave, because you are sick.

tiredgranny · 20/05/2011 18:44

i would go on sick leave at a later date u might decide u want to go back leave option open and u might find it helps at a later date

Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 18:45

Long hours; long commute; nasty people. I just don't care enough about money anymore to want to do it. They upset me a lot when I was pregnnat so lots of bad memories. However if I hadn't had a bad birth I probably would have been happy to return.

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 20/05/2011 18:47

Maybe it would be fairer to resign, as otherwise they still have to pay someone to do your job/have others pick up the slack. Not really fair to have them keep the job open if you have no intention of going back imo.

Longtalljosie · 20/05/2011 18:47

The last sentence is the important one. Go onto sick leave, and give yourself a couple more months to recover. How long ago was the birth? Are you on anti-depressants?

Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 18:48

I was originally thinking i'd resign but then thought perhaps I was being a bit naive and should go on sick leave first. I know others at work who have spend literally mths on sick leave for stress related conditions.

OP posts:
samc007 · 20/05/2011 18:49

Definitely go on sick leave. You are entitled to it and as a pp said you are suffering with depression and therefore major life changing decisions should be put off till you feel a bit better.

Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 18:51

I'm not on anti-depressants but seeing a counsellor weekly for talking therapy.

The fact I was pregnnat there makes me feel really sad about returning. Stupid things like I was sort of forced into have a leaving "do" when I am superstitious about celebrating birth before it's happened safely. I would not care however if things had been fine, obviously.

OP posts:
Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 18:51

The birth was 10mths ago.

OP posts:
allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 20/05/2011 18:51

I'd go on sick leave, as someone said above, while you have PND you're in no position to make life changing decisions. And if they're a load of bitches, tough shit if it's hard work for them.
Sometimes I think people aren't selfish enough. :)

mumblechum1 · 20/05/2011 18:52

If it's a big company, you can probably get away with going on sick, then.

Small firms would obv. find it a lot harder to cover for you long term.

Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 18:58

It's a small firm but project based with teams built when we win work there isn't anyone in to specifically cover for me

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 20/05/2011 19:01

Did the birth happen safely?

Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 19:03

No the birth didn't happen safely. I don't really want to go into it here though.

I am currently suing the hospital for negligence.

OP posts:
Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 19:05

another thing that happened is I had a placental abruption. At work they made me work really long hrs and I will always wonder if that contributed to it (though obviously will never know).

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 20/05/2011 19:07

OK, sorry to pry. The reason I ask is it will have an effect on what going back to work would be like, if you see what I mean.

I think there's no reason why you shouldn't go on sick leave for a couple of months while you continue your talking therapy. But if after that your feeling haven't changed, or aren't starting to change, and you don't need the money, then I'd knock it on the head.

I'm very sorry for everything you've been through.

beesimo · 20/05/2011 19:09

As I have said on other threads it is wrong to mess people about regarding maternity leave ect. But you are not messing people about I can tell from your post you're not well and your top priority has to be getting yourself well.

I actually think Counselling is often a load of cobblers but I do think you need time and space to put what sounds like a dreadful ordeal behind you.

There is nothing more important than your mental health.

Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 19:14

ok thank you. I will just get a doctor's note and go on sick leave then. when that ends will probably just leave. they won't like it but they aren't that nice. does anyone know how long I can be on sick leave for?

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 20/05/2011 19:15

As long as you like, but you won't be paid for all of it. How long have you been there for?

Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 19:15

8 yrs.

OP posts:
Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 19:16

Do you really mean I could take another yr off and then go back? won't they be able to kick me out?/

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 20/05/2011 19:19

It will depend on your workplace's policy wrt payment. It used to be the case many firms did six months full pay, four months half pay. That said, you might just get statutory sick pay. You'd need to talk to your HR and get them to send you their sickness policy.

Original poster
undecidedreworking · 20/05/2011 19:22

OK thanks will try and dig out my contract (if I still have it!) and check.

OP posts:
samc007 · 20/05/2011 19:23

I have pnd and PTSD too op after having my dd 16 months ago. I quit work and really regret it.your Hr department will be able to offer you advise relevant to your company. Some companies have really good sick packages with x months full pay and a gradual scale down others only offer amp.either way they can't just get rid of you. I know speaking to anyone on the phone or face to face can seem very daunting so perhaps email your Hr department or line manager let them know the situation and ask for advice.

Hope your talking therapy goes well.