... to think that because I can't see a new IPOAT thread I should start one myself?

[PrincessFiorimonde]

Especially as I want to wish CheerfulYank a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY for today. Hope you are having a lovely day.

And here is the patron saint of IPOAT playing Happy Birthday To CY!

And beyond these Halls there are sundry and divers threads from lots of huns which have provoked sundry and divers others complaining and fighting back and swearing a lot to frighten em off.

The Huns are persistent. Perhaps we could train attack prawns?

Yoo hoo.Arises from the haha waving 'kerchief. I am returned from a sojourn in the Shires. . I shall rummage in Rochester's breeches to check how the pressed flowers are doing ( with permission from Hully of course). I know nothing of the Huns, are they heading this way?

Mini, go and teach the gels their advanced tatting and beginners Art of Ensnarement (Part 1), the First Ball.

And stay out of dear Mr Rochester's britches.

Dips a curtsey to Hully. Er have you got any spare thumbs, the advanced tatting may require greater dexterity than the gels currently have, I suppose we could use toes. Gathers equipment for Art of Ensnarement. Trip wire, check, garotte,check, cheese, check, butterfly net, check, honey, gin trap, suspenders. or am I getting muddled up

Why Mini, what lovely thoughtful teaching aids, but let us not forget the gentler arts of gazing upwards through eyelashes while a light blush pinkens the cheek, embroidery and accidentally showing a bit of ankle.

Ah that kind of entrapment< feigns innocence>< stumbles off to gather another set of equipment. Any of that juice stuff to spare Hully for dabbing behind the ears and whatnot. (expecially whatnot)

I've tatted my thumbs down to stumps. Any chance I could knit for a while?

Perkins, could you ask Cook if she would send up a little light supper? A haunch of venison or two, some crevettes in aspic and a few poached ortolans should do.

Well, ladies, I have had a most trying day. I took the post in to town, and had to share the carriage with a rather uncouth foreign gentleman. He spoke very little English, so conversation was not awfully stimulating, but we managed to while away the three hour journey to Bishops Humping somehow.

Town was frightfully busy, but after much searching I was able to purchase everything we will need for Art of Ensnarement Part 2, including Advanced Fainting and the seminar on daintiness.

Welcome back Paggy. I see a week with the Spaniards has left you well burnished and vivacious. And I note the dry heat has done wonders for the Captain's foot.

Here, Jins, why not use these spare thumbs that Pag keeps in her trunk for just such an occasion?

The captains foot is well leathered and quite chewy. I have many thumbs. Please avail yourself of as many will meet your needs.

Excellent! Perkins, tell cook we won't need the venison, Pag has brought us some biltong.

(Must just say am thoroughly enjoying Slubber's pineapple thread)

That's it! I'm staying her and tatting till my thumbs drop off. It's a world gorn madde out there. Shysters and gadsters and all manner of unpleasantness, why since the ruling classes got the heralds to proclaim gels to be gels, my safe and happy haven has been penetrated by glittery huns and their numbers and all manner of trollish beasts!

I will stay with the confines of the barn till I wan and die! Not shall coax me from betwixt its humble walls.

There there Honey,. I have been working on Art of Ensnarement part 1, blushing daintily module. Take a prawn in each hand, slap cheeks for 30 seconds. Dab with rose water,for a fresh dewy look and to remove prawn smell.

I don't need to blush daintily.....I'M NOT COMING OUT!

Why Mistress Pag, returned from furrin parts. Goodness but your thighs glisten, i wont be needing these prawns.
I habe been practising hard the Art of Ensnarement
i tatted it myself.

I think the maidenly blushing is coming on a treat. Now dewy eyes... stare at the prawn, stare at the prawn, hold its gaze. Now doesn't that make your eyes water. How can any man resist.

Miss Honey, look at the lil prawn hun, he loves you and wants you to caress him against your soft downy cheek.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are not the REAL MISTRESS HULLY!!!!!! You said HUN! Where is the real Mistress Hully? What have you done with her you vile fiend?

Look what i found! i shall free you Miss Honeydragon. Stand well back and gather your tatting and prawns....