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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

776 replies

Judgeywedgiepants · 17/05/2011 09:15

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

OP posts:
raltheraffe · 05/12/2014 22:39

I think the thread should be kept open.

Or perhaps we start a new thread about getting fit and dealing with eating issues and excess bulge.

andsmileitschristmas · 05/12/2014 22:41

sound sensible raltheraffe I thought for one minute there that everyone else had got perfect health and fitness outcomes since the thread was started but me.

Have an honest conversation.

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2014 22:43

This was revived because someone did do a search. Grin

Mintyy · 05/12/2014 22:45

Fgs, look at the thread title "let themselves get fat". It is goady, provocative and utterly unhelpful.

If you want to discuss your weight and eating disorders as they affect you, then start a thread about it and hope that like-minded Mumsnetters will join you. They invariably will and it will become a support thread, and all will be a little bit better with the world.

If you want to judge people for letting themselves get fat, then just please fuck right off.

andsmileitschristmas · 05/12/2014 22:49

Well thing is sparkling I get that - it can be taken as that, but maybe not, maybe poorly worded. But either way responding with these 'bite back' type posts just feeds the goady goat carrots - it that was the premise

I am fat, I am curvey, I dress well and I am well groomed. If I lose some fat my health will improve - Fat and proud, proud to be doing something about it (a tiny bit at a time mind)

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2014 22:52

TBF the Op was a very goady goat though.

ArsenicSoup · 05/12/2014 22:53

christmas is pretty goady herself.

andsmileitschristmas · 05/12/2014 22:55

if they were a nice goat they'll make some 'cabbage soup' and hand it out to all needy poor poor fat people. Grin

raltheraffe · 05/12/2014 22:57

I am new here myself so cannot understand why everyone is getting so angry an old thread has been resurrected.

Mintyy you are right though about people judging those who have a few excess pounds, it is not nice.

ArsenicSoup · 05/12/2014 23:02

It's a nasty old thread being resurrected ral

Minty is quite right.

andsmileitschristmas · 05/12/2014 23:02

have you finished that mince pie then?

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2014 23:03

I think the problem with resurrecting a 3 year old goady thread that is this long is that nobody is bothering to RTFT, as is obvious by lots of the replies today.

Would have been better to start a new one IMO, and word it in a different way to the OP looking at that title!

andsmileitschristmas · 05/12/2014 23:03

the point is the 'so what Im fat what the fuck do you care' brigade should reclaim the thread - by bitching back you feed the goat

andsmileitschristmas · 05/12/2014 23:04

probably right sparkling

CattyCatCat · 05/12/2014 23:09

I tend to think that being very overweight is as much as an 'eating/mental' problem as being anorexic is. It is basically an unhealthy and out of control relationship with food. I have every, single sympathy possible with people in very under and overweight situations. It is not as simple as saying 'eat sensibly'. Yabu and cruel in judging.

veronaswalls · 07/12/2014 23:57

All the women in my family are big. We all start off small but when we have children we pile it by the lorry load. We eat the wrong stuff and the right stuff. We develop very big appetites and satisfy them. We can all cook very well and this may be the problem. Home made bread and soup is lovely. Food is a hobby, it is a way of life. It is how we bond and it is something we have common ground with everyone about. I have recently lost 3 stone and have made several lifestyle changes to make sure i can sustain it but it is difficult. Especially when you have to teach yourself to unlove the stuff that you always have loved. We associate good memories and occasions with food so it is more than just fuel - birthday cakes etc. some people have a predisposition for overindulgence not because they are bad people or glutttons but because its hard to but the brakes on when you have a full stack of teacakes to polish off with a pot of tea. OP i think your being a little provocative and hope you have some sensitivty as it hurts peoples feelings to call them Fatties etc as there is more to them than their weight.

53Dragon · 08/12/2014 00:09

I was about 3 stone overweight at one stage. For me it was as simple as seeing a photograph of myself aged about 43 - fat and frumpy. I just thought 'I don't want to be that person' and started to make lifestyle changes. It didn't happen overnight and it took the death of a friend to give me the incentive to increase my own chances of a long happy life by shifting those pounds. But I don't have any particular issues around food - I just ate too much. I realise that there isn't a simple way to tackle eating disorders.

GoodKingQuintless · 08/12/2014 00:16

Not sure if you genuinely want to know or if you are just sniping...

In my case, I was a tall size 12. First I stopped clubbing - there is a lot of exercise in dancing for hours 2-3 nights per week. Then I stopped smoking. Then I got a desk job, sitting for 12 hours per day. Then I got pregnant. These changed played havoc with my metabolism, and I never really caught up. The weight crept up, and it is a lot harder to lose weight than keep stable.

Tinks42 · 08/12/2014 00:23

It happens for many reasons

It starts as a comfort at a very early age and becomes an addiction.

Unfortunately, its the hardest thing to conquer as we all need to eat to live.

BigCatFace · 08/12/2014 00:27

I take medication which causes a double whammy of sedation and weight gain. I developed an eating disorder because of it. When I passed out choking on blood from violently making myself sick just to be a normal weight I decided I'd rather get help and now live with being fat (13st and 4ft 11") sane and safe. So you can stick it up your hole.

LoisHatesChristmas · 08/12/2014 00:28

Now I admit to being a tad drunk but isn't this a zombie thread? A bun starter into the bargain? So annoying!

flipchart · 08/12/2014 20:14

Does it really matter if it is a zombie thread? People can still contribute their opinions.

Lilmissconcerned · 08/12/2014 22:40

I read the first two pages of this thread then the last one... Wow is all I'm gonna say.. That op put it right out there didn't they??
If they were talking in the context I imagined... like after seeing supersize super skinny where they go over to America to meet someone's who weight has begun or is limiting their life, I can imagine its difficult to think what their life is like, if you are lucky and keep your weigh in check. It's sad to see a person in a situation like that where they cannot help themselves so they live better lives for themselves and their families.
As for the reasons why.... I don't think weight control is a simple as don't eat cakes and get off your butt, our relationship with food can be complicated... It fills boredom, can be a social pleasure, a way to unwind from a stressful day, used as a reward, used to cheer ourselves up, because we are too tired to cook that night, a way of celebrating a birthday, milestone or achievement. Sometimes it's just a love of food... Or it can be something sinister and underlying, medical or hereditary
Think the ops phrasing was small minded and simplified when it's so obvious peoples relationship with food can be complicated. Add our more and more naturally sedentary lives into the mix and the pounds can slip on easy as the years roll away with us.
I don't believe the post was natural curiosity but rather poking a honesty nest with a stick ... Still it's made for an interesting read... And if the post helped develop a few network groups on here where people are now supporting one another... It's not all bad xxxx

LoisHatesChristmas · 08/12/2014 23:27

Flip Fair enough but the goady ones are bad enough the first time round. Just gives the op more attention.

Blessedandgrateful · 08/12/2014 23:33

Metabolic disorders like Cushings? Hypothyroidism?
Antidepressants, steroids, anticonvulsants ....

My question to you OP is - Why would anybody choose to be as unkind and judgmental as you?