To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

[Judgeywedgiepants]

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

The less you eat, the less you need to eat to feel full as a rule.

Equally, the more you eat the more you need to, to feel full.

I do believe most weight gain problems are due to eating far too much and doing far too little. I think it's definitely a sign of the times and the lifestyles we now tend to lead.

A lot of overweight people will say "Oh but I walk miles every day"...but by the time you've allowed yourself to become overweight, normally only rigorous excercise will shift it..not walking.

Of course it is wasteful to buy food and throw it away, nijinsky. You are wasting the ingredients that went into it, and the energy used to cook and transport it etc. But I do think that finishing something up just so as not to waste it is a bad idea too. Obviously it would be better if you could buy a muffin half the size, that would be enough to satisfy you, and then there would be no waste - but that's not easy in today's society (a bad thing, I think you will agree).

And I don't think Oblomov was suggesting that it was unbelievablethat a woman should not be able to cook, but that it is unbelievable that people should be unable to cook. She made no gender references in her post of 20:50:26 today - she referred to people, not women. And she is right, cooking healthy, tasty food from wholesome ingredients is a basic life-skill, and is one that everyone should learn, regardless of gender, income, occupation, professional status.

BsshBossh - thankyou for the kind words, and I might well wander over to your thread - I'm already on BlooferLady's weightloss thread, but you can't have too much support, can you!

Worraliberty - someone who is very overweight may not be physically capable of vigorous exercise. At least if they are walking miles each day, they are doing something positive.

I am overweight, not as much as I was, I've got my BMI down from 32 to 28. I do enjoy exercise, and I would love to do more but have cholinergic urticaria which massively limits what I can do. It's frustrating when you are working out, not tired, but have to stop because my whole body is covered in hives, and I itch like crazy. I always feel people are staring as well because sometimes my face is really bad.
So I am no carbs, no sugar and have been since Jan. I'm eating less, and have lost about 26lbs so far. I don't look my weight, and I kept an honest food diary for the doctor who said what I was eating was fine. I am naturally quite muscled and (fairly!) toned though at a size 16

Yes absolutely, it is a positive thing. I just mean sometimes they don't understand why suddenly walking a lot isn't shifting the weight. I think walking maintains a slim body but I don't think it does much to shift fat if you see what I mean.

I think if I knew the answer to your question OP I would be 3 stone lighter. The whole point is that people who are overweight don't choose to be that way and they have no idea how to get back to their ideal weight because they don't know how they got there in the first place.

When you put food in your mouth you don't always put it there because you're hungry. I find the naivety in the OPs question quite astounding and actually quite offensive.

Laughing at the Stepford/Bree Van De Kamp comparison. I wish.
And thank you DavidTennant, indeed I did not say that being able to cook and having a good understanding of all food, all foodgroups, etc, was a necessity for women only. I think it is a life skill for all.
And Nijinsky, you say I am not well travelled ? Well actually I am. Very. And have lived abroad. In both Russia And Egypt. Both of which favour frugal use and never waste any food. But god, their food is good.

A bite of a burger.

There is nothing wrong with a home made lean burger, with a big salad and no bun. It is a lot more healthy than other things that pretend to be diet options. It is the Flame grilled whopper with cheese and fries eaten regularly that is the road to ruin.

People just need to grasp how portion sizes have grown and eat accordingly. I always weigh out pasta and rice, and eat carbs according to low GI principles. When you realise how little pasta/rice you need for a healthy portion, it is shocking how much you see people actually sticking on their plates.

surely even a lean mice burger a day and bread and salad is not too bad
i eat a magnum every day at the moment i could eat seven but somehow resist

You're not seriously telling me that leaving food on your plate/only eating half a muffin is worse than being overweight?!

Who cares if its "wasteful"? Are the wasteful police going to come around and charge me or something? No, more likely the tight clothes police will come round, and to be honest, I'd rather sacrifice half a muffin than the fit of my jeans!

A lean mice burger is definitely ok, Nota

agreed - barely any meat and a good squeak!

nijinsky I think you are the tight clothes police.

I have (a lot of) times when I get way too hung up on it all. I get far too controlling about exercise and food. I get anxious about it. The way you post reminds me of the way I feel during those times. Hope you are ok. I am learning (though it's a very slow process) that it's ok to gain a pound or two and then lose them again; that this is ok and normal. That I can go a couple of days without exercising and the world won't cave in, nor will I suddenly become obese.

Being so very clenchingly in control all the time is quite exhausting, or at least I find it so. It is my personality and will always be there in some form, I think, but I do want to fight it a bit because it can stop me enjoying life sometimes and I also don't want my children to be affected by it.

Not sure if this will make any sense to anyone other than me?! Tired.

Nijinsky - I didn't say that leaving food on your plate was worse than being overweight, and I don't think anyone else did either. You stated that you were not being wasteful because you bought the food and ate only a part of it - as if it is only wasteful if you've cooked it yourself - when actually both are wasteful. But, as I said in my post, it would be better if you could buy a muffin that was half the size, and sufficient for what you wanted, so you didn't have to waste anything.

And yes, throwing away half a muffin doesn't seem like much in the grand scheme of things - I'm certainly not advocating a return to 'clearing your plate, don't be wasteful' - but when you look at the statistics about how much food is thrown away in Britain every day, it is horrifying.

Also, on saturday at 14:44:03, I posted about Paul McKenna's weightloss system - and one of the cornerstones of this is to stop eating when you have had sufficient, even if there is food on your plate. You eat slowly, so you have time to recognise when you have eaten enough, and then you stop. You seem to have missed that post.

You also seem to have missed the posts telling you that Oblomov did NOT say that it was unbelievable that a woman should be unable to cook - when in fact she said it was unbelievable that anyone should be unable to cook - and it is a life skill that everyone should have - which means both men and women, so your 'Stepford' and " Get away from the gender stereotypes a little too and you will find a lot of couples where the man (gasp) does the cooking...." jibes demonstrate clearly that you hadn't bothered to read what she actually said before launching another rant.

Not really sure what you mean Olifin. Its a bit like a parallel universe on here. Looking after your weight and appearance apparantly means you might not "be ok". Leaving half a muffin is bad for the environment. Keeping a stable weight means there is something wrong with you while being athletic and fit probably means you are obsessed.

I want to stay the same clothes size and not to have to buy bigger clothes or have my clothes feel tight. I don't think overeating is good. If I were more anxious, I would probably be thinner so I have to pressurise myself to a certain extent. Otherwise, you just give up and because there is so much food available, you would end up getting bigger.

I don't think this is a bad thing. So many people eat unhealthy processed foods and have shapes which look awful and are unhealthy. Not being able to walk a few miles without suffering afterwards is unusual. Its becoming the norm, and apparantly being any other way is considered odd now. Some people think a size 8/10 is "thin".

As I say, parallel universe.

Sadly, I think what this post has taught me is that being blinkered to the truth and not being aware of their weight is something that a lot of overweight people have in common.

nijinsky 'Looking after your weight and appearance apparantly means you might not "be ok".'

I certainly wasn't insinuating that you aren't ok and I hope I haven't offended you. I was just saying that, for me, maintaining a healthy weight can become a bit of an obsession and a source of anxiety. Not always, but sometimes. I wondered if that was the case for you, too, but if you think not then that's good.

And I am controlling generally; obsessional behaviour a go-go in my life so it's just part of my psychological landscape, if you will.

I don't think I understand your middle paragraph though. You say 'if I were more anxious'...so you are anxious? To some degree, at least. And you have to 'pressurise' yourself. Look, I'm not trying to psycho-analyse you but, sounds as though your lifestyle is very healthy but I hope it doesn't ever get in the way of your enjoyment of life, that's all.

I know that it sometimes happens to me. Not that 'enjoyment of life' for me involves doing no exercise and scoffing buns all day...I would not enjoy that life at all. But sometimes, whilst in conversation with a person, I catch myself mentally calculating how many minutes of CV I've done that week and how many more I 'need' to do to reach target. I don't think that's particularly healthy so I try to give myself a kick up the arse when it happens.
Likewise, I might sometimes not be able to enjoy a sweet or a glass of wine for fear it is going to ruin everything. It's a bit of a nuisance but I'm working on it.

This might just be me though. I'll get me coat!

It sounds pretty sensible to me, Olifin - everything in moderation, including worrying.

I really do struggle with 'everything in moderation', especially worrying!

You haven't offended me Oilifin - you don't post in any kind of offensive manner! Do you see where I am coming from with the parallel universe comment though? People now have so much food available to them and its so difficult to exercise restraint, that overeating becomes the norm. Being a size 14 or larger becomes the norm and being small and slim becomes unhealthy, thin and obsessive.

I don't obsess about eating and food, I just want to be slim enough to enjoy my life! I also didn't think I was an especially healthy eater but from what I've read on here I'm quite unusual. I don't like fried or fast foods, I can't eat a whole muffin or hamburger because I just imagine the fats in them clogging my arteries, but I enjoy a few bites of them just as much. I don't even like wine and other alcohol - simply don't like the taste.

Yes, I think a degree of self motivation requires a degree of mild anxiety/angst/pressure/whatever you call it. If you are too placid, then you don't push yourself enough, I find. I like being this way. It gives me more pleasure than stuffing myself full to the gunnels with food, and I like the routine and structure of training so that I have more to think about than when my next meal is coming and how good it will taste.

I also find that because most of my friends are healthy and fit and have efficiently functioning bodies, we all think like this and I simply do not believe some of the assertions of the overweight.

I really think its sad that healthy attitudes like mine are questioned. All I can say is, go to France and there you will find a whole different attitude towards eating and putting on weight. Its when you get away from what I think of as the "supermarket shape" that you realise just how unhealthy people are becoming as the norm in the UK. Its so sad.

I do agree with much of what you say there nijinsky

Nijinsky - in a way I envy you. I do like fried foods, have never been sporty/outdoorsy or enjoyed exercise, have never been slim and find that depression has killed any motivation I might once have had. I wish all of these things were different, and am working on the biggest thing, to try to change that - ie the depression. I have been in therapy for a year and a half, working hard at getting better. Maybe if I actually start to like myself, I will be more motivated to care for myself.

I don't think I have been questioning the value of having a healthy attitude towards food and exercise. What I have been trying to do is to explain how there may be complex and difficult factors that get in the way of either holding such attitudes or implementing them, and how it is cruel to condemn a whole segment of the population who struggle with something that you find fairly easy and rewarding.

Buggerit - I left out the point I was trying to make in paragraph one. I envy Nijinsky, in a way, because it seems obvious to me that she finds exercise and healthy eating far easier than I do. I wish I liked exercise, and had the motivation to like myself and look after myself. I am trying to eat better, and to tackle the depression, and as my weight allows, I am going to do more exercise (have already ordered an exercise dvd that I can do at home). But it is going to be a really up-hill struggle for me, and I envy those for whom it is not.

I think I have a healthy attitude to food. I eat what I want when I want. I never deny myself anyhting, especially not portion wise. I eat everyhting. Trying to think if there is any food I don't eat. Not alot. I eat salads, fruit, veg, bread, home made roasts/spag bol/curry/pasta/cottage pie/casserole, crisps, chocolate, icecream, burgers. I eat everyhting. I have been roughly same weight for 20 years. I get weighed every 3 months at diabetic clinic, and have been since aged 1. And I have been the same weight, since 16, with big boobs, as I was every year, for the last 20 years. my weight hasn't changed, give or take a few lbs. I have never dieted. Not once. I do not know the calories of any food stuff.
I need to lose a littel bit now. I think 2 children, stress of having possible aspergers child assessed, and my thus stress induced very unstable diabetes, with hypos weekly, has made me eat a bit more/ exercise less/ a bit lazy about it all, thus weight gained. I am planning on cutting back. And a bit more exercise. basically I am going to diet, for the first time in my life. I'll let you know how I get on !!