To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

[Judgeywedgiepants]

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

"most people who are seriously overweight would have some sort of disorder"

Greed is not a disorder.

Greed is not a disorder.

No. Its one of the seven deadly sins.

Should be "gluttony" if its specifically overeating though...

"Learnng to cook / eating healthily is relatively easy. I mean , if you put your mind to it, I do not think it is that hard. Nijinsky, that can be your next goal / objective !! Its a bit naff, to just say, oh I can't cook. well, do something about it then ! Other people learn to drive etc"

I'm quite happy with my diet thanks, and am a healthy weight with plenty of energy. I can't cook because my parents had a cook and my DP either cooks for me or we eat out or eat simple meals of as above. Its naff not to exercise though.

I often think a lot of people aren't seriously aware of their TRUE weight most of the time. When I was very very very very thin I didn't realise I was and wondered why everyone kept going on about it. After I had my DS and had lost the bump and a small amount of the baby weight I thought I was back to my old size but then looked at pictures later on and realised actually I was probably near two dress sizes bigger then pre-pregnancy.

very few (if any) people on this thread have said they over eat just because they like food and are too lazy NOT too

Naff not to exercise? That's a new one. Must have changed its meaning..

melted - Putting on a pound here and there easily goes unnoticed but surely you must have realized that you are two dress sizes above your usual size. For one thing, you must have noticed that there were no clothes in the house that fit you?

I ran 4 miles last night. Then I came home and ate a massive plate of stir-fried veg and noodles and several glasses of wine I keep sabotaging myself by trying to enjoy life.

Mind you I could stop taking my citalopram. Stress and anxiety do the trick for me...but I think dh and thus dc would leave home.

Ormirian Why is that sabotage? A good, healthy dinner after a good bit of exercise. Can't see any problem with that

I'm on citalopram too and am a few pounds heavier than when I'm not on them. Def need to be on them though so just means I have to work a wee bit harder at the exercise!

I was thinking about earlier comments re. people eating the wrong types of food; which is undoubtedly true for a lot of people but I don't think portion size can be ignored either. A lot of people just put far more food on their plate than they actually need and in the 'wrong' quantities ie. more than half the plate is carbs and protein and less than half is veg/salad.

Most eateries serve unnecessarily massive portions too. I have been to a Harvester a few times (against my will) and am surprised to see that some people are able to eat a full bowl of salad (including potato and pasta salad and bread roll), followed by a large main meal and finished off with one of their puddings which, quite frankly, could probably feed three people. I am a small person so I accept that I probably have a smaller appetite than larger people but even so. I usually try and order child meals when we eat out but you're not often allowed to as an adult. I think the 'eyes bigger than belly' thing is true for some (I suffer it myself at times!) and then when the food's on your plate, you feel you should finish it all.

I am same as nijinsky I am a size 6/8 and its easy to stay this way as I dont know how to cook that many things. My dad is a chef and 'he always says you should never trust a skinny chef' He has lived with that mantra all his life and is the only one in my whole family that is overweight or anywhere close. He has slimmed down a lot now but he still finds it a struggle I think. I find it difficult to imagine that mindset cause I just think dont eat too much as its easy for me, my brother and my mum.

From what I have noticed overweight people are usually pickers. My dad and friends say I have only had but then you see them sneaking stuff from the fridge/cupboard and foraging through the day. Another thing I see is them making a big deal about having a salad/something healthy then saying I only had that for lunch and you had a maccy ds why are you skinny? When you think well yeah but I have had no more snacks and you have had a couple of biscuits, bit of cheese, crackers, bite of this/bit of that.

Portion size is another biggy and even though some overweight people do exercise a lot I know move quite slow through the day. its surprising how much you lose/maintain weight by just moving fast all the way through the day zipping from here to there. I think if some people I know doubled their speed walking they would lose a lot more weight. If you do that a lot then less gym would be needed, which is important for people who hate the gym. Obviously hard to do this if you have an office based job though, but even running up the stairs, zipping round the office makes a difference imo.

Cars are another reason I think its harder to lose weight. Taking the car a teeny distance to the shop and thinks like that. Its easy to do but it makes a lot of difference. I have seen a lot of people put on loads of weight after becoming car drivers.

I also agree with olifin about portion size I never worry about weight it just is that naturally I would only eat a childs portion size.

Easy for me to say as slim I suppose but these are my observations. Realise its harder in practice because I would feel sick if eating through that 'full' feeling whereas for larger people they would feel the same struggle ignoring the constant hunger.

I do think however just things like not always taking the car, moving faster etc could make a difference to people I know who want to lose weight, and by doing this they wouldnt have the 'dread' of the gym or waste money on so many fads. Fads wont ever work and companies prey on this with their gimmicks and thats why its such a lucrative industry.

Sorry didnt finish the bit about olifin and portion size. I would naturally eat a childs size and do struggle with massive portions however I think its is ingrained since childhood. My dad has to eat all his plate and if the rest of the family leaves anything he has to eat it, even if he doesnt want to. It comes from childhood where he had to finish all his meals and now feels 'guilty' if its left so overeats as many portion sizes in restaurants now are huge.

Oilifin - I agree! I just don't think some people have much awareness of what they are actually eating. For instance, I know someone who regularly complains that she isn't losing weight even though she's eating healthily. And then you find out she is adding creme fraiche to everything she cooks. And she sits around the house all day but if one day a week she goes for a walk she thinks this entitles her to endless, calorie laden helpings of pudding.

And MacDonalds/Burger Kind/KFC - loads of people must actually eat that stuff, otherwise they would close down. There are people that take their children there! I can't even get through the door because the smell is so vile.

Salt is another bugbear of mine. I never ever add salt to anything I cook. Whats the point? Even if you buy supermarket rice, its probably got loads of salt added to it anyway. If you get used to eating without added salt, it tastes very good and added salt tastes foul.

nijinsky - I eat loads of mcdonalds, kfc etc and they dont make me fat as I dont eat portion sizes that are huge through the day.

I honestly believe you can eat whatever you like and be a healthy weight but everything in moderation.

I was overweight because I ate too much and did too little. I could happily eat a whole bunch of pork chops for lunch and two or more packets of chocolate biscuits for pudding and then I'd sit around watching tv until it was time to take a cake up to bed. It was a good life while it lasted but I think inactivity and overeating breeds inactivity and overeating. I'm a size 8 to 10 now and I just couldn't eat that much without feeling sick and I get bored sitting around doing nothing. That said, while the pounds can creep up on you and your appetite get bigger so gradually you don't realise, you MUST notice when you're getting huge although it's got to be so hard to turn it around by then.

ilovedora I agree re. general activity levels throughout the day. I'm very fidgety and rarely sit down. I always have to be doing something and I move around quickly from one thing to another. I also walk very quickly as I don't like to waste time ambling and tend to trot up a staircase two stairs at a time and walk up an escalator rather than just stand on it. It all helps, I guess!

Regarding 'awareness' of what you are eating - I have been reading up on Paul McKenna's 'I Will Make You Thin' programme. He says, and I agree with him, that because we eat fast, and thoughtlessly, we don't give our bodies time to realise that our stomachs are full, so carry on eating past the point where we have had sufficient.

His programme has these basic rules:

If you are hungry, eat - no restrictions on what you eat, no bad or good foods.

Eat mindfully - don't eat in front of the tv, for example - be aware of what you are eating, enjoy the tastes and flavours.

Put your knife and fork down between each mouthful - if you are eating with your hands (a sandwich, say) put that down between mouthfuls.

Chew each mouthful properly, so you can really appreciate all the flavours.

When you are full/have had sufficient, stop eating. Even if there is food on your plate.

He claims that people can lose lots of weight, and I am going to give it a go - it sounds sensible to me.

ilovedora21 you might be slim on the KFCs but whats happening to all those fat greasy deposits in your arteries?

I agree, there is nothing wrong with fattening food, in moderation. e.g. one bite of a hamburger once a week, perhaps. Not a whole muffin, but maybe 1/3. Nice rich French meal out, but maybe only once every 3 weeks. Or something like that.

i eat a muffin for lunch two or three times a week but thats all i'll have

my son tells me that fat cells never go away - they just empty and shrivel. when you eat more fat they just re-fill

StayingDavidTennantsGirl, I'm following Paul McKenna too now as I find his principles are basic common sense, and I've lost 28lbs on it in 12 weeks. There's a support thread on it here ( www.mumsnet.com/Talk/big_slim_whatever_weight_loss_club/1206567-Paul-McKenna-WILL-make-us-thin-Part-4 ) you might find helpful.

It's common sense eating, reminding me how to eat normally and the effect is that my portion sizes have reduced drastically and yet I can still eat whatever I want.

Good luck StayingDavidTennantsGirl!

I can't believe that the two people who say they can't cook, have no intention of atleast trying to learn how to. It is a basic skill. Do you not want to atleast try and learn ?
Nijinsky because her parents were wealthy enough to employ a chef. But did your mum not cook with you, when you were young ? When you were at uni, (graduating as a lawyer, who now does houses/renovations, right ?) did you not learn how to cook then ? I mean for yourself ?
And Dora, your father is a chef ? But you can not cook. That seems bizzare. Did he not teach you. Or teach you the value of good food. Good basics. Good meat. Veg in season etc etc ?

And nijinsky, I agree with everything in moderation, but your suggestion of a mouthful or burger, or 1/3 of a muffin? Is simply ridiculous. Why would anyone only take a mouthful? Or cook a muffin and only eat 1/3. How wasteful. How silly. That sounds like 'control freakish' rather than sensible eating and use of ingredients and use of money.
Have you ever heard of someone saying cook, then only eat 1/3. mad.

Hi OP (who has disappeared) I can't speak for 'people' but I can tell you from my experience that there are a multitude of reasons why people are bigger than other, be that 1 stone or 20 stone. I think its far too easy to say people who are overweight and obese are greedy/lazy/stupid. Well generalising as some people have done in the past just shows up their own ignorance. I believe, in some cases extra large people have eating disorders that are just as complex and deep rooted as people who suffer from anorexia. The amount of pain and torment people go through, the day to day humiliation, the negative public scrutiny will never measure up to how bad some people feel about themselves. As so many posters have said before me and have demonstrated with their own experience becoming overweight and obese is very often something that is beyond their control, especially in the short term.

Oblomovsky (or is it Oblomoff) my parents didn't have a chef, they had a woman who came in and cleaned and left dinner on the Raeburn. Not wealthy, my parents both worked and inherited said woman from the house sellers and shared her with the neighbours. Have to say, my parents did a great job bringing me up, eating wise, no fried food, no fast food, no food hang ups.

Like a lot of women, my mother had no real interest in cooking. She was however talented, clever and beautiful. Sure I can prepare a steak and cook myself an evening meal, but I have no great interest in making fancy recipes. Do you actually live in Stepford, along with Beesimo where women must conform to some 50's stereotype? I always think women who promote that line to death must not have that much else going for them!

btw these days there are things called shops. Often people like to buy things in these shops, rather than cooking them. Sometimes I might buy, for example, a muffin, eat part of it, find it a bit dry, feel satisfied and throw the rest away. Its not wasteful - the muffin is mine to do with as I wish anyway. To eat it while full would be greedy. In other words, my level of satisfaction is just as great as if I had eaten the whole muffin. They do this in France a lot. Perhaps you need to travel a bit more, if you really find such concepts "unbelievable". Get away from the gender stereotypes a little too and you will find a lot of couples where the man (gasp) does the cooking.