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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

776 replies

Judgeywedgiepants · 17/05/2011 09:15

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

OP posts:
noonar · 20/05/2011 12:02

this is obviously a very emotive thread and i want to make a point NOT about eating disorders and those with emotional issues relating to food.

i personally feel that a lot of people get fat who dont even consider that they over eat. this is because they eat a very processed western diet. i think its a question of what you eat, as much as the quantity (within reason). So.... alot of peopel get fat because they dont understand just how terrible the 'mum's gone to iceland' way of eating is for our health.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 20/05/2011 12:02

Nijinsky - I have never said that a very overweight person might be put off losing weight because it would make them look old. What I am saying is that they might find they reach a point in their weightloss where losing more weight would make their face look old, and at that point they might decide that it's worth a few extra wrinkles in order to achieve their goal weight, or they might decide that they'd be happier being a bit above their goal weight, but with a face they are also happy with. Like many things in life, sometimes you have to compromise - and different people will make different choices.

I have to say that you have been pretty vehement here about how unpleasant you find it to look at someone overweight, and I struggle to imagine how you would be able to spend long enough in my company to get to know me. And I have never said I expect to be told all the time how attractive I am - so if your comment 'I find it a bit off putting when people feel the need to tell you constantly how attractive they are....' is addressed at me, then it is pretty wide of the mark.

Oblomov · 20/05/2011 12:03

Agree with Orm.
One is hard work and one is easy.
I love everyhting about food, shopping, strawberry picking, cooking, eating, socialising at bbq's, watching cookery programmes. Food is a big part of my life. And I see that as positive, not negative.
Some people just eat to live. I can appreciate that and do not have a problem with that.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 20/05/2011 12:06

Also I have never said that exercise is easy for slim people. All I have tried to do is to point out why it is so hard for me and people like me.

DrNortherner · 20/05/2011 12:41

nijinsky - ouch to the track session. Always tough ime.

nijinsky · 20/05/2011 12:54

noonar that is so true. The Western processed diet is pretty disgusting really. I've read about what Kenyan athletes eat, and its basically maize or rice with a little bit of chicken or fish, every single day. Yet they do miles of training and seem really healthy on it. We really do eat far more than we need in the west and do far too little exercise - human beings weren't really designed that well for that sort of lifestyle!

Dr Northerner - I know, its always a fine line between injury and being race fit! 3 track sessions a week right now, 2 long runs and one hill reps!

David'sGirl you are completely exaggerating. I simply said what I did in response to getting the impression that overweight people are blinded to what others see. I specifically said that it was more likely to affect someone of a size 12 deciding whether to diet down to a size 8. I think someone obese has greater concerns than whether their face will look thinner if they diet. None of it is directed at any particular person. Since I have never set eyes on you, I refuse to be drawn into this diversionary dialogue with you, or play games, or pick on certain words and phrases from people's postings and take offence at them.

Being politically correct is all very well, but taking it to the extreme where you cannot comment on weight issues, which concern every woman, is just silly!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 20/05/2011 13:08

Where did I say you can't comment on weightloss issues, Nijinsky?

Another question - what part do you think schools and the education process have to play in all this? When I was at school we all did Home Ec - we all learned to cook things from scratch and learned the basic techniques of cooking, but these aren't taught today. Ds3's home ec classes seem to use a very high proportion of cheap processed ingredients, and that can't be good. For example, instead of making bolognese with fresh onion, celery, mince and cans of cheap tinned tomatoes, they used a tinned, cheap bolognese sauce, which is nowhere near as healthy, imo.

My kids see me cooking from scratch, using fresh ingredients the vast majority of the time, but if children who don't get to see 'proper' cooking at home, where are they going to learn it? If you don't know how to deal with fresh ingredients, no wonder you resort to packets and processed crap.

Tortington · 20/05/2011 13:16

if food and cooking was part of the gcse curriculum then fine, but its not hard to cook. what is hard to do is cook healthily on audget if you don't know how and that kind of education needs to be taught to adults. whilst it is in some areas of deprivation - the funding for these types of activity are getting more limited with the current govt

nijinsky · 20/05/2011 13:17

Well David'sGirl, I never learned to cook and all I can make now for myself are very basic rice, potatoe and pasta dishes, and I tend to eat vegetables raw. There has been very little emphasis on cooking in my life. I tend to do without sauce. I do eat a lot of choclate though.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 20/05/2011 13:29

I agree it's not hard to cook, Custy - but I do think it is harder if you don't know what you are doing. If you understand the basic language of cooking, you can pick up a cook book and use it, but if you don't understand braise, saute, dice etc, then even simple recipes can be quite confusing.

It just stunned me that the schools spend so much time telling children what constitutes healthy eating (not that they always get it right), and then give ds3's class the cheapest, crappiest processed stuff to cook with. I know it has to do with cost - but it might be better if they bought a small amount of proper ingredients and showed them what to do with them, then let them taste the results, rather than buying the cheapest stuff available so they can all cook a portion of whatever.

Oblomov · 20/05/2011 13:45

Learnng to cook / eating healthily is relatively easy. I mean , if you put your mind to it, I do not think it is that hard. Nijinsky, that can be your next goal / objective !! Its a bit naff, to just say, oh I can't cook. well, do something about it then ! Other people learn to drive etc.

Oblomov · 20/05/2011 13:48

Come round to mine, I'll teach you how to make beef wellington, new potatoes, asparagus, and for pudding pavlova. Easy-peasy-lemon- squeezy cheesecake.

tigercametotea · 20/05/2011 13:48

For a start, schools should teach students to plan meals according to a food pyramid principle based on the latest nutritional science. www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/what-should-you-eat/pyramid/

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 20/05/2011 15:09

Oblomov - I know how to make beef wellington, new potatoes, asparagus, and pavlova to follow - can I just come round and eat it please!! WinkGrin

Oblomov · 20/05/2011 16:14

Come on over Grin

Oblomov · 20/05/2011 16:17

Is that pyramid the latest science ? Strange. I thought they were the same principlas as has been for the last 30 years. In fact I know so. Because they had the same diagrams in diabetic clinics when I was a schoolgirl.

idratherbeboarding · 20/05/2011 17:06

I have always been judgmental about over eaters. However, I was recently put on meds for severe vertigo and the consultant casually mentioned potential weight gain as a side effect, but after I took just the first table, I absolutely could not control my hunger. I was ravenous all the time, eating anything that wasn't nailed down. I have a lot of willpower usually, but this was something I just could not control. I came off the meds when I googled them and read others' stories of how they put on two stone after taking the meds.

This experience has made me view overweight people differently, as I imagine their desire to over eat is similar to the overpowering craving I experienced; the desire to eat is just too overwhelming. For some people it really is an addiction and I empathise with how difficult it must be to overcome such a strong compulsion to over eat.

worraliberty · 20/05/2011 17:12

It's never been easier to learn to cook than it is now.

The internet is full of recipes, step by step instructions and even videos that take you through the entire thing from start to finish.

I think the days are gone where 'I don't know how to cook' is a reasonable excuse for anything...fat or thin.

intertoyz · 20/05/2011 17:32

I rather like that new food pyramid linked to above.

It seems to be saying that we should be mostly eating old trainers, tennis balls and socks. My border terrier would heartily agree with that.

CoteDAzur · 20/05/2011 17:55

"I do think once you hit your forties it's face or arse."

Not really. I have recently hit 40 and both are in good shape.

It probably helps that I cook from scratch with little oil and run 5 km three times a week.

About a year ago, I was 1.5 stones heavier and two dress sizes higher. Then I decided to feed the face better and get the arse off the couch.

You can do it, too. Anybody can.

tigercametotea · 20/05/2011 18:15

Is that pyramid the latest science ? Strange. I thought they were the same principlas as has been for the last 30 years. In fact I know so. Because they had the same diagrams in diabetic clinics when I was a schoolgirl.

Haha... yes, they are somewhat similar to diabetic food charts. I suppose the "latest science" about it all is that its actually also beneficial for non-diabetics?

tigercametotea · 20/05/2011 18:19

Its not that hard to learn to cook. When DH met me, I couldn't even fry an egg! He cooked back then. Now I cook almost everyday, and I bake once a week too. I get him to cook once or twice a week so I get a break from it, but I've since grown to love cooking now. After I became a mother I just decided to get down to it and start cooking by learning from recipes, TV chefs, trial-and-error, etc. Its hard in the beginning, you will end up with some culinary mishaps, but its just a learning curve you eventually get past, if you stick with it.

tigercametotea · 20/05/2011 18:22

The internet is full of recipes, step by step instructions and even videos that take you through the entire thing from start to finish.

I agree. The internet has been a godsend for me in terms of learning all these skills which in the olden days women were expected to know, like cooking, needlework, etc. I just wasn't raised to do any of those things, my mum just never let me in the kitchen, period, and we had a rather dysfunctional relationship anyway. I just learnt these things on my own, with the internet, books, classes, etc. for help.

Hobson · 20/05/2011 18:43

I thought the same thing when I went to America. People with a shelf for a backside, wearing tents, people who could no longer walk... I did say, why don't they stop halfway?

I'm not judging anyone who is overweight or even obese... it's easy to do. I've been pretty overweight myself. But morbidly obese? Is it like the same point you get to when you've drank so much or smoked so much or taken so many drugs you just think fuck it, I've started so I'll finish?

mazg · 20/05/2011 18:52

So all fat people have a medical condition/food addiction/eating disorder, then?

That's one helluva lot of ill people.

Yes it is. Thats why it is one of the biggest burdens on the NHS and obesity is an epidemic. And attitudes like those you expressed in your OP would make it even harder for people who are suffering to get help. I would imagine that most people who are seriously overweight would have some sort of disorder, most likely its their way of dealing with stress (in the same way some people lose weight when they are stressed). Maybe because you seem to so 'sorted', then you should think about helping people with all the 'knowledge' you have.