To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

[Judgeywedgiepants]

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

David's Girl it is true (apparantly) but it also depends on what type of face you have. I have an exceptionally round face which never looks gaunt no matter how much exercise I do or how thin I get. I also look about 12 years younger than my age, and my DP, who is 2 years younger than me, has been mistaken for being my father! I have also seen fat people whose faces are distorted by their weight, which really isn't nice. But on the whole, I personally don't find obesity attractive in any shape or form, even if the face is relatively attractive. And I'm not convinced that the faces of overweight people are as attractive as some people would have us believe.

Being overweight is also very ageing in that it can make the whole picture of a person look much older, as being very thin can make people look much younger. I would also guess that fat does well at keeping you younger lookin in the face in a sense until a certain point, but after that there is more to droop and sag.

At that point, you get into what is attractive to some and not to others. I like to fit into small, fashionable clothes and not to carry excess adipose tissue. I think this was probably the norm in this country until the 1950s so theres no reason to assume it is unhealthy or ageing to be slim. I do think there is a lot of myth and unrealistic attitudes amongst those who are oveweight. They seem to put up a lot of mental barriers.

Absolutely, but as falible human beings struggle with us appling those virtues to every aspect of our lives.

I have applied all three of the above to my work, to my life with dh to my role as a parent, to my voluntary work. I don't see that I have an unsuccessful life. I do struggle to apply the things tothings to do with my person well-being and health though. There is no doubt about that.

I'm not going to answer your question on excuses David's Girl, other than to comment generally in relation to other people as well. I'm not a dietician or scientist or psychologist, and it seems that you are already recieving treatment for your medical problems.

Lyingwitch - I do see your point, but I promise you that the wrinkles issue is not something I am worrying about - it was something that came to mind when I read Nijinsky's post, so I commented on it. As I said, when I reach the point where it becomes an issue, I will make a decision then - but it is a long way off.

Nijinksy - it's encouraging to hear that it doesn't happen to everyone - I have a roundish face, so maybe I will be lucky. I have already dodged the grey hair gene that my sister got in spades (started going grey at 14, and is now almost totally grey and white). In fact, you may have hit on something that will actually encourage me - sibling rivalry. I am imagining being as slim as dsis, but with almost no grey hair and a fairly unwrinkly face! [mean unworthy person emoticon]

I agree, exercise for the benefits it brings alone. Raised endorphins, body strength, raised metabolism, natural appetite supressant, bone density increase etc. NOT just because you want to fit into your size 10 jeans! It's not ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!

FedUpandFifty....I think that's it's quite difficult to put addiction to food in the same slot as addiction to drugs/smoking/alcohol as it's NOT a drug but, certain foods can increase feel good endorphins and sugar rush does make you feel great - at first!! Psychologically it can create cravings just as real as nicotine/alcohol cravings. There's clinics FULL of people who are overweight and who's addiction to food has given them long term health problems with conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, joint problems etc. Not having a go at you but, food cravings are real for some people.

Some eat exceedingly large amounts and don't get fat, others are not so lucky.

Some the weight creeps on, they have a good social life and drink too much.

Some are rape victims who wish to make themselves unattractive to men.

Some were abused and hate them selves.

Some have addictive personalities.

Some and I include my self in this, have had annorexia and slowed their metabolism down so much they get fat very easily.

Biggest loser USA season 8, one lady lost her husband, DC and 2 week old baby in a car crash.

The reasons are endless.

Very interesting thread.. Thank you for the insightful posts SDTG. I was very overweight as a teenager but have not been in my adult life (discounting pregnancy.) Then again, I have never had serious health/mental health issues.

I find it a lot easier to incorporate a series of 'little steps' into my diet to ensure I don't overeat, rather than being On A Diet, which is sole destroying. Portion control (i.e always weighing pasta/rice, cutting back on white carbs, using skimmed milk, avoiding alcohol during the week, and very rarely having takeaways. To me that is not being on a diet, it is just what I do. I still have a couple of biscuits a day and possibly a slice of cake as well .

The exercise thing is vital to me. It is not the key difference to losing loads of weight, but it is key to keeping it off. If you build lean muscle then you will burn more calories and therefore your metabolic rate will be higher. A couple of biscuits won't lead to you putting on weight over time, because it will be burnt off.

Just a thought on the Wii Fit - I have one, and it is a really useful 'first step' for those who want to exercise at home....however please don't be fooled into thinking that you will burn a lot of calories or that it will have a huge impact. Yes, use it as a tool to re-introduce exercise to your life, however it is a very gentle intro and will not burn that many calories etc (i.e don't go and eat a cream bun because 'I have been working hard.' It is unlikely to have burned off that many!! ) The EA Wii Package with an exercise band etc is slightly more challenging. Some DVDs and some gentle walking/swimming etc would be even better.

Right - 'Pilates for Dummies' dvd ordered from Amazon.

PS - can I blame you lot when dh sees the list of books that happened to fall into the trolley as I was going round the Amazon site, that I just had to buy??

I think the answer to the question 'why werent people so fat in the past?' is a number of things - post war there was still rationing, there wasnt the supply of food that we see today. People lived closer to their work so walked or cycled to work.

Dont forget also that people did take some heavy weight drugs (opioids and amphetamines) which were handed out by doctors to treat with less control than is done today.

Smoking - was I think at its peak in the 40s with women taking it up as well.

So, dont look at the past and think it was some sort of golden time.

People get fat becasue the output does not match the input , the reasons surroundimg this can vary but thats the basic formula for becoming fat. I'm speaking as a whale of a human being

Its a good thing im in could risk being 'unsightly'

Best of luck to SDTG - I would suggest start slowly and try to find some gentle exercise that you enjoy. Would be good if you could go with someone else. Perhaps your 4 mile walk friend would be happy to do a shorter walk with you. 4 miles is quite a long way when you're out of practice, but you did well to finish that walk

You can start with walking to the shops , using stairs instead of a lift ie really small gestures which won't work magic overnight but will be little steps in the right direction

SDTG - I am very excited on your behalf now!!

Will you keep us all posted? Let us give you a kick up the jacksie if you need it?

exercise intolerant. due to dodgy sinus node.

annapolly....spot on!

I went to a top ballet school aged 10. They weighed us, measured us, fed us well, not very much really. I went through a frightening array of eating problems (still can't bring myself to say it!) and at 18 was told "you could do with losing a few pounds before" and I was 7st 2lbs. At 6st 10lbs, I found myself in hospital with a load of professionals shaking their heads at me and making me write down every morsel that passed my lips.

I'm 48 now and "plumptious" as my son calls me. But it's all still there, just waiting to go one way or another!!

annapolly....spot on!

I went to a top ballet school aged 10. They weighed us, measured us, fed us well, not very much really. I went through a frightening array of eating problems (still can't bring myself to say it!) and at 18 was told "you could do with losing a few pounds before" and I was 7st 2lbs. At 6st 10lbs, I found myself in hospital with a load of professionals shaking their heads at me and making me write down every morsel that passed my lips.

I'm 48 now and "plumptious" as my son calls me. But it's all still there, just waiting to go one way or another!!

SDTG you have inspired me, I have arranged to go walking with my annoyingly trim sister tomorrow morning, knowing that now I have agreed to it she will not take no for an answer if I try to back out, never, ever..

Can I also say how in awe I am at your perfectly dignified responses during this thread, truly jaw dropping.

i used to be naturally slim, 8st, size 8-10, and used to wonder why people let themselves get so big. Now, four babies later, I'm over 10st (I know, it's not huge, but i'm only 5ft tall), in a size 14 and even that is getting snug. And I know it's not just the babies... it's the sleepless nights, the early mornings, the relentless routine, the boredom, the stress, the easy availability of cake and biscuits at every single social setting I'm in (with small children). I think if I worked even part-time i would have a couple of days where I could actually plan some healthy food for myself rather than just grabbing whatever is quick and easy. I do loads of walking, but i think my body has just got used to that!

It's a very gradual slippery slope and it takes a lot of energy and willpower to make a change. I lost nearly a stone last year on WW and it's all gone back on. I'm hoping once all my kids are at school I'll be able to fit in some proper exercise like running or cardio, but till then I just have to do my best and just not look at my wedding pictures!

Awww - you are all sooo nice. And I am going to do my best not to let you down.

{{hugs for all as want them!!}}

sorry I just couln't let this one go. If the physical addiction to these things were the only part of the addiction, drug addicts who managed to tay off drugs for a few weeks in rehab and people who stayed off cigarettes for a couple of weeks would never relapse. The desire for the fix stays with you even when the chemical/physical addiction is gone.

The consistent ongoing inability to resist, the desire for something even when that thing is it is incredibly bad for you is what I think makes someone addicted to that thing.

Drugs and smoking and even alcohol are even more adictive than other things in that they also have the chemical adiction and the physical withdrawal symptoms in the first week or so of stopping but people can be addicted to work, sex, shopping, gambling. None of these have a phisical chemical element to them.

I dont think being thin makes your face look older. I weigh 7 stone 3 and am 5 foot 3. I am 27 but often get ided for pubs/alcohol. My mum is 56 and slim and could easily pass for early 40s. You either have a young face or you dont regardless of your weight ime.

I don't think it is being thin that makes your face look old, ilovedora - it is losing a lot of weight. Wrinkles that were previously plumped out by the fat, then become obvious. That's what happened to dsis, anyhow. And I have heard it said by a number of people that, if dieting, there can come a point where you have to chose between your face and your figure.

face vs figure is another 'thin-ist' phrase like fat happy