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Original poster

To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

776 replies

Judgeywedgiepants · 17/05/2011 09:15

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

OP posts:
beesimo · 17/05/2011 14:17

Peppapighonk

It was meant as a light hearted 'joke' comment not a insult!

Clytaemnestra · 17/05/2011 14:18

I don't think regular weighing helps at all really, that can easily become obsessive. I don't own scales, but I can see in my face when I've put on a bit, and that's when I'm a bit more careful until I get back to normal. Scales just make you obsess over half pounds and so on, which really don't matter.

I think that is maybe what some people are clumsily trying to say, I understand a few pounds creeping on, but surely once you go up a size and have to buy new clothes you must realise what's happening? I don't mean this in a derogatory way at all or to have a go, just trying to explain what people are trying to say.

GoFullForce · 17/05/2011 14:19

Id rather a person was overweight and accepting of all people, no matter what they look like, than have a potty mouth of some of the smallest minded, idiotic and self absorbed people whom I have ever had the misfortunate to read about!

I'm over weight, just!, not because of choice, but because medical steroids tend to fuck with your metabolism!.

PeppaPigHonk · 17/05/2011 14:19

Ah. Sorry Bees. Blush.
See, plump lasses have much better senses of humour Grin

yoshiLunk · 17/05/2011 14:19

Glad i'm not the only one wondering what the actual Jeff Nijinsky is on about

BlooferLady · 17/05/2011 14:20

I really, really, hate all this 'bet your husband fancies bat birds, skinny bitch' type stuff Sad.

In what world is OK to to taunt someone about their weight, whether it's because they're slim or overweight?

And I say this as someone resembling nothing so much as a galleon under full sail.

Someone said this could have been an interesting debate, and in places it has been, but I'm stunned at the level of personal attack. Haven't we all left the sixth form?

nijinsky · 17/05/2011 14:21

Here we go, onto the "men prefer curvy women" stereotype. Despite the fact that the majority of female stars are very slim. Yes, it is true that some men like fatter women. But I wouldn't want one of those men anyway, so you are welcome to them.

beesimo you live in a little enclave of Stepford caught in the 1900's though anyway, don't you? "So be warned all you smug skinnies your men my secretly fancy a chubby lass for a change. "

If my man fancied another "lass" I'd be the throwing him out. Who wants a man that fancies another woman. I'm not skinny btw. I'm a size 8/10 with no excess fat. Do my bones stick out? No. Is my face drawn? No. Sorry to confound these sterotypes.

piprabbit · 17/05/2011 14:22

ROFL @ OP.

Unsightly???? Like I give a flying fuck about what people like the OP think.

PeppaPigHonk · 17/05/2011 14:23

May I ask, how many of us are the weight we are because our partners prefer that? I was just wondering.
I know my DH ( sport Billy type) is very slim and fit and does not fancy larger women so I wonder if I keep slim partly because of that?
Just musing.

deemented · 17/05/2011 14:23

I am fat because i hate myself. Or maybe it's that i don't love myself enough.

Whatever. Food has been the only thing i could control over the years. Outside influences have played their part - parents/bullying/low self esteem, but when it comes down to it, for me it's a vicious circle.

Food makes me feel better. Gives me comfort. So i eat to feel better. Then i look in the mirror and see myself and i feel awful all over again, so i reach for my crutch - food. And so it continues.

Control is hugely important to me. I had none as a child, and none at certain points in my adult life. It's one of the things i do have control over now. I am making bad choices, i know that. But it's my choice to make.

I have never been thin. Ever. As i child i was overweight. So much so that aged nine i was taken to weight watchers. And when that didn't work i was put on the slim fast plan. Aged nine. Can you imagine what that will do to a child? Or what about during gym class in high school, the teacher talking about body shapes, and saying that i would never be as thin as so and so. Great way to instill confidence in someone.

All my adult life i have been fat. I have never been able to shop in places other then Evans or somewhere with a plus size range.

Yes, i could do something about it, couldn't i? But you know what? It scares me. I have an identity now. What if i lose weight and i'm still not happy?

What if..? Oh sod it, pass me the cake.

BelovedCunt · 17/05/2011 14:23

nijinsky why do you always get so cross? have you thought about talking to someone about it?

PeppaPigHonk · 17/05/2011 14:25

Aw Deemented, that made me smile in a good way because you strike me as being very accepting of yourself, which is no bad thing at all.

Clytaemnestra · 17/05/2011 14:25

BlooferLady - totally agree. It's up there with the REAL women have curves comments.

I understand you were just making a joke beesimo, but can you imagine the reaction if someone else had said "So be warned all you smug fatties your men my secretly fancy a slim lass for a change"?

Actually, saying to anyone maybe your husband might fancy a change from you is fairly unamusing.

nijinsky · 17/05/2011 14:25

wordfactory will you stop with the trying to tell me what to do. Yes, David'sGirl is hurting. I think no-one could fail to miss that. People are hurting all over the world for various reasons. People however tend to empathise more with people who help themselves rather than hurl abuse and use their hurting as an excuse.

Is there a fat girl's club on here that other people are not allowed to debate on then?

BlooferLady · 17/05/2011 14:25

I'm about 3 stone lighter than when I married. DH has known me at anything between a size 14/16 and a 22/24. Throughout he has been honest about my weight (he would never say "dear me yes, do go out in that halterneck mini-dress - not that I have ever even glanced at such an item Grin" but would agree with me that I had got too big and help me get healthier), but maintained that I am, as he puts it "A stunner. Because you stun people."

I met a male friend recently. The last time he was me I was 17.5 stone. Since then I've lost two stone and my waist length hair is now a chin-length bob. Failed to notice either change, the swine. He just said, "You just look like my Bloofer to me."

I think this thread is in danger of giving the impression that most people are preoccupied with others' dress sizes. Simply not the case, in my experience.

beesimo · 17/05/2011 14:27

PeppaPigHonk

Thank you I quite like the word plump it makes me sound like a lovely soft pillow for my DH and a cuddly wuddly Mam which is hopefully what I am.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/05/2011 14:27

What abuse have I hurled?

nijinsky · 17/05/2011 14:27

beloved

Its just the sheer level of inanity, it tends me towards the sarcastic bent. But no, I don't need to talk to anyone about it, I don't need to take medications and make up a problem I don't have. I just have a balance in my life, a bit of exercise, a bit of relaxation and a bit of angst to help motivate me from time to time. You should try it!

Insomnia11 · 17/05/2011 14:28

I used to think this too, mainly at the time when I was underweight and used to get upset if I even added 1lb...I'm quite a bit heavier now after having children but I like to think I am more confident in myself and have (barring one or two issues) a healthier attitude towards food and a less obsessive attitude toward exercise and how I look.

I imagine for most people they have been large all their lives or at some point they started to eat more than they need to or exercise less than they used to and the weight crept on over time. Then losing it isn't easy - hence the massive diet industry! Don't feel bad about not being able to lose weight, plenty of people try and fail. To lose weight you need to eat less than your body is telling you you need, which is hard to get right, too little and you feel deprived and you body makes you eat, too much and obviously you don't lose the weight. Also diets make you obsessed with food and are often too inflexible if you are running a home.

I used to do a lot of exercise, and while I wouldn't say I didn't control what I ate at all I didn't exactly starve myself either and drank a lot more than I do now! So for me it's mainly exercise I need to do more of, because I still have a big appetite...but I have to be careful as I tend to go mad and set unrealistic goals. At the moment I'm jogging (plodding) for half an hour every other day. Once my body gets used to that I will increase it/add some different types of exercise gradually.

Also I'm never doing a set diet again. I hate being hungry, get grumpy and shout at DH and DDs. I'll decide what I eat, and when. I have bought new clothes that fit me now rather than saying "When I lose weight I'll get new stuff..." I'm not putting anything off "Until I've lost weight". Mostly I'me being kind to myself and looking after number one more instead of being a poor last.

Ormirian · 17/05/2011 14:28

I love food. I love cooking it and eating it. I also love wine. That's where the weight I am comes from. I also like running and walking so that is enough to keep my weight under reasonable control. I am not thin but not overweight. However when I hurt my foot last year I was unable to run regularly for about 10 months so I put on some weight.

Now I am running again which is great but struggling to cut out all the food I love. I know I could do it but I don't value my figure over my enjoyment in food. It's a delicate balance for me which falls in favour of eating rather than being thin. I guess that is how most fat people get fat. It's not hard to understand.

wordfactory · 17/05/2011 14:30

nijinsky you sound pretty unhappy yourself and I'm sorry about that.

But trully, DTG has not hurled any abuse at you. If I'm wrong please refer me to the post because clearly I have missed it.

You're seeing things that aren't there.

BlooferLady · 17/05/2011 14:30

nijinsk, why are you so wound up? I'm not getting at you - I haven't responded directly to any of your comments and I'm not cross, as I hope you can see! - but I am a bit baffled as to why it's touched such a nerve with you? Do you find that you're sometimes on the receiving end of bitchy comments because you're slim & fit? I know one or two very slim women that do, and it does make them maybe a bit defensive.

I'm not at all defensive about my weight you see, never really have been, so I'm always interested as to why it's a trigger for some, and not for others

Ormirian · 17/05/2011 14:30

I did get thin(ish) once. I was under severe stress and managed to develop a wheat intolerance that gave me the shits. Fantastic way to lose weight Hmm

BelovedCunt · 17/05/2011 14:30

nijinksy you are frequently spectacularly offensive, i do think you have a real problem i would advise other poster to not engage or upset themselves

BlooferLady · 17/05/2011 14:31

disclaimer: I'm not especially happy about my weight, as evidenced by my being currently on a diet - but I don't find this sort of thread upsetting zackly, just baffling...