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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

776 replies

Judgeywedgiepants · 17/05/2011 09:15

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

OP posts:
oohlaalaa · 17/05/2011 13:26

Judgeywedgiepants - you are a very brave person. To a certain extent I agree with you.

I've never thought about it before, but it does seem logical to loose the weight when you get to say 14 stone, than 20 stone. I have always watched what I eat, and gone to various exercise classes, but I am not Kate Middleton slender, and have in the last decade varied from size 12 to size 16. I'm 5'11 and wouldnt say I have ever been fat, even when I have got up to size 16, just shapely. God, I sound like a condescending bitch, sorry, but I think judgeywedgiepants has a point.

My aunt is overweight and that is because of an underactive thyroid. It is not always greed.

pickyourbrain · 17/05/2011 13:38

I don''t think JWPs is brave. shehasnt asked someone in the street has she, she's come on to an anonymous forum to bitch about people she knows nothing about. And then promptly pissed off...

yoshiLunk · 17/05/2011 13:38

SDTG I'm simply going to do this

Chyna and Nijinsky , to coin one of scottishmummy's phrases, you pair have just shown your draws in your last comments, have a couple of Biscuit s

Clytaemnestra · 17/05/2011 13:39

"You seemed to be saying that just because you can do it then so can everyone else. Surely we all have enough empathy to recognise that that's not always possible"

I don't think that is what she is saying at all, I think she's saying that the attitude that slimmer people can't possibly have ANY physical problems or barriers, it's just dead easy for them and they don't understand HOW HARD IT IS, which is unfair and demeaning to the people who have actually overcome physical issues to do something.

Chynah · 17/05/2011 13:52

Chyna and Nijinsky , to coin one of scottishmummy's phrases, you pair have just shown your draws in your last comments, have a couple of s

if you are offered a couple of biscuits "no" is really a good start! - same with cake too

Chynah · 17/05/2011 13:54

Oh and I don't mind showing my drawers cos my arse isn't fat (and that does take work).

nijinsky · 17/05/2011 13:55

David'sGirl - will you stop with nasty comments and maybe try to understand a little what people are saying? All you seem to want to see is the negative in everything. Do you not want to hear of other people's experiences and expand your knowledge? Prior to this thread, did you have any idea that its not physically easy for athletes at all to do what they do? Or do you think that only overweight people are entitled to complain about things? You just seem to have a really closed mind, and might I also suggest, a tendency to see people in categories, rather than real people? I also have feelings, and I was damned ill last winter and I will not have anyone telling me that I do not know what it is like to overcome difficulties in order to try and remain healthy and fit.

And just to be accurate, it was you who first mentioned the word "discipline". I then followed that by saying that athletes needed "discipline amongst other things". Do you really think being healthy and fit is as simple as needing only discipline? My, you really miscontrue things!

I have absolutely no idea why you are trying to get into an arguement with me either. I am allowed to give my experiences on this thread just as much as you are, I have directed no personal comments towards you or overweight people and have deliberately stayed away from being judgemental or stereotypical. I have absolutely no idea why you can have any beef with any of my posts at all!

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 17/05/2011 13:55

if you are offered a couple of biscuits "no" is really a good start! - same with cake too

Any point you made which might have been relevant to the discussion is now totally null and void with this comment. That's just downright spiteful.

Oh and don't think for a second that nobody realises you're the OP.

lljkk · 17/05/2011 13:56

There is a nugget in what OP said that I agree with. I don't quite get it either at some level... I could imagine getting a bit flabby and pudgy, I can't imagine getting 2-3-4 stone overweight without severely panicking. I want to be able to swim fast and walk miles and not have to buy new or less flattering clothes, I don't want to change my whole style (clothes & life) because of my weight,it would annoy me no end if my body changed that much and if I could do fewer fun things with it.

It just seems like it doesn't bother other people so much to get a little plump. I went for a group meal with a size 16-18 19yo girl who mentioned being a size 8 two years before. She laughed about it, didn't seem the slightest bit bothered about her huge increase in body mass. I wasn't the only woman at the table (many of them plump) who didn't know what to say.

I would hate having mahoosive norks, too :).

wordfactory · 17/05/2011 13:57

nijinsky you ask if DTG can see anyhting from anyone else's point of view but I'm really left wondering whether you can...

nijinsky · 17/05/2011 13:59

"if you are offered a couple of biscuits "no" is really a good start! - same with cake too

Any point you made which might have been relevant to the discussion is now totally null and void with this comment. That's just downright spiteful."

Oh for goodness sake dickydavis get over yourself and have a sense of humour. If you think thats spiteful, you must spend all day getting offended over leaves blowing deliberately and spitefully into your path or something!

heads out for a run, chortling at the thought of how turning down a biscuit can be "spiteful"

thebestisyettocome · 17/05/2011 14:00

Fat is really easy to put on but VERY hard to lose.

That is why people get fat.

wordfactory · 17/05/2011 14:02

wordfactory breathes sigh of relief that nijinsky has left the building and wonders if we can get back to discusing the real reasons why people get fat...

do we think there is an impulse linked to overeating as a way of stultifying emotions?
Over eating makes one tired and lethragic of body, but also of mind. Is it similar to self medicating?

bumblingbovine · 17/05/2011 14:03

Can I suggest that anyone who is struggling with ovevereating may be better staying off this thread. There are too many people here who want to feel good about themselves at the expense of others

I have started a thread about trying to control my eating and I would welcome the support for anyone interested.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/big_slim_whatever_weight_loss_club/1216651-Anyone-want-to-join-a-thread-about-Eating-Less/AllOnOnePage#25402933

bronze · 17/05/2011 14:03

For someone my height 15 stone isn't even in the obese catergory. Quite easy to get overweight without even any particular reason.

I know its bad form but I havent read the whole thread
I got bored

PeppaPigHonk · 17/05/2011 14:03

So what are the steps to preventing finding yourself in the position whereby you are getting overweight?
Do people advocate regular weighing? I weigh myself twice a week and so can keep a close eye that way and rein things in if the pounds are going on.
I also think exercise is brilliant because it not only makes you feel good and burns calories but it increases your muscle ratio. If you have a high muscle to fat ratio you can eat more calories and still be slim because muscles require so many more calories than fat does.

wordfactory · 17/05/2011 14:07

bumblingbovine I agree.

This has just become an exercise in point scoring...without regard for anyone's feelings.

I do wonder what some poeple get out of it? I mean really? Can it make them happy? Surely not?

I realise I will never undertsand some people's basic lack of decency and humanity and perhaps I shouldn't try.

nijinsky · 17/05/2011 14:11

Nice, friendly, group of people! Can I see things from other people's points of view? Yes, because I want to eat lovely cakes and chocolate all day and sit on my backside, but I know it will impact on my appearance and health so I get into the habit of doing stuff. When I had pneumonia this winter, before I was hospitalised, it would take me literally 2 hours to work up enough energy just to get up and brush my teeth and then I'd have to lie down again for an hour to recover. And David's Girl use of the expression "like moving through treacle" is very apt because me and my training partners often use this expression to describe the feeling when you have so much lactic acid in your legs that running fast, or running at all, is just like that.

I do not have specific experience of depression or being very overweight, no. Is it necessary though to emphasise with it in order to discuss it effectively? Do you really suggest that no-one who does not directly have a specific experience cannot comment on it? So women cannot comment on men, becaus they have never been a man then?

However I do not emphasise with people who are deliberately nasty and resort to taking offence where none was clearly intended, just for the sake of it. Its just a form of attempted bullying.

As I've said before, I find its the overweight people who are the most judgemental about appearance, and the ones most likely to offer critical comments. This thread has compounded this.

beesimo · 17/05/2011 14:12

iijkk and others

My DH is a bit dissapointed I have lost so much weight as he loved my massive norks!

When we had our first proper cuddle up after my accident and large weight gain it was lovely as always I said 'oh I am so fat and wobbly' expecting him to say 'don't be silly pet I love you so much' ect and the gammy devil said ' oh B it was fantastic it was like being with another woman' !!!!!!!

So be warned all you smug skinnies your men my secretly fancy a chubby lass for a change.

I have forgiven DH as to be honest I have on occasions closed my eyes and thought of a young Oliver Reed lol

PeppaPigHonk · 17/05/2011 14:14

" Smug skinnies"? Nice. Hmm

HotchpotchHoney · 17/05/2011 14:15

this well known condition called depression? I suffered severley from PND after the birth of my eldest son and comfort was food, and h thought he was helping by brinign in a take away after work rather than expect me to cook tea. lucky for him he can eat and not gian weight i gained 6 stone!
Now the depression is being dealt with and i'm in a happier palce i can concentrate on losing weight and have lost over 2 stone in the last three months.
Being judged by people like you doesn;t help though as if you're feeling depressed and self conscious knowing people are judging and making assumptions can end up in a vicious circle of over eating.

I think its very rude to comment on peoples weight regardless of thier size, skinny, fat, inbetween. Especially if you don;t know them!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/05/2011 14:15

Nijinsky - what nasty comments have I made?

In one post you accuse me of attention-seeking, in another you sarcastically 'apologise' for not realising that the thread was all about me, and then you claim that you have not made any personal comments nor been judgemental!!!

PeppaPigHonk · 17/05/2011 14:16

Is it okay to suggest to fatties ( if we're using the term skinnies I assume fatties is okay too?) that their hubbies might prefer a slim lass for a change?

wordfactory · 17/05/2011 14:16

Nijinsky having experience of something and having empathy are very different things.

Of course we cannot have experience of everything but we should aim (as a basic tenet of humanity) to have empathy...

the fact that you seem uable to see how much DTG is hurting and the fact that you keep bringing the thread back to you and your injuries makes it very obvious that you are seriously lacking in empathy.

Now please, go for your run where you can do no more damage...

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