To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

[Judgeywedgiepants]

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

*chyna there are posters on MN with learning difficulties. There are posters with little no/education. There are psoters for who english is not their firt language.

Any one of these might cause a person to make a spelling error. Picking up on it is rude in the extreme. Calling someone stupid becuase of it is unacceptable.*

Telling someone to" fuck off your stupid" is rude in the extreme learning difficulty/poor education or not.

chyna I wouldn't call names due to their appearance. Never have. Never would.
I would also never pull someone up on their spelling.

Well OP I have always been fat, even as a small child I was the chubby one.
I use food as a comfort and as a reward, if I'm unhappy then I want some chocolate If I have done well at something and want to celebrate then it is chocolate cake and a steak. A lot of this is ingrained from childhood, when my mum told me my nan and gran had died she bought me an ice-cream. When my dad left he took us out for posh meals to make up for not being there.

When my son was diagnosed with autism I put on 3 stone in less then a year and I didn't even notice until I tried an outfit on which had fitted me the year before. I was shocked and disgusted with myself for getting fat, then I was disgusted with myself for caring about my body image when my son was locked in his own world and we were struggling to connect with him.
My priorities were helping my son and making sure my daughter was happy, if after the umpteenth dr visit that week I had no time to cook who cared if I had a takeaway.

Before DD1 I was a size 12 and about 11 stone and I had a lovely figure. 6 years later I was a size 22 and about 16 stone. I can lose weight as I have done it 4 times, 1 time through weightwatchers and 3 times through being pregnant with girls. I eat healthily but have a large appetite. I'm not sleeping well which doesn't help lose weight and to be honest I'm not that unhappy about being fat and I carry the weight well.
I will lose weight only when I want to, I am healthy if overweight, who says being skinny will make me any happier

AIBU to wonder why do people get so irate about things that do not actively directly affect their life?

Yes it was rude...and your response was???? To insult them back (offending any number of other posters into the bargain).

What did you get out of it?

Bloofer You said:

'Kew that is very true. Someone upthread said something like "Pah, losing weight is no harder than giving up smoking. And I should know, I've given up smoking LOADS of times."'

First off, you misquoted me. (As you know). I certainly didn't use the word 'Pah' as that would have implied I was belittling the difficulty involved in losing weight. I wasn't.

Secondly, I think you misunderstood my point. Stopping and staying away from our vices isn't easy. I have indulged every vice you can think of. Alcohol, cigs, food, drugs, exercise.... As others have discussed here; it's about trying to fill a void, isn't it?

What I actually said is that it isn't that hard to lose weight, just as it isn't that hard to stop smoking. It is entirely possible, no such thing as 'can't'.
I didn't mention staying stopped. Staying stopped is the very difficult bit.

We are all capable of it but it involves motivation and will power.

So no, I don't see any irony in what I said. I think it reflects the complexity of the issue.

David's Girl I have said nothing even slightly "condemning" to you, or to anyone else. Personally speaking, I nearly died this winter from pneumonia, so please do not tell me that I do not understand difficulties. I do however know that staying slim and sticking to an exercise plan require, amongst other things, discipline. It has certainly not been "easy" for me in any shape or form, and on a daily basis, it is not "easy" for me.

Do less slim people really believe that keeping slim and fit is easy?

Neither have I written anyone off! Thats really quite a nasty thing to say, particularly when its unwarranted.

I remember asking my mum for help to lose weight - I was always somewhat chubby, though my major weight gain has all been as an adult.

My mum refused to help me.

*Yes it was rude...and your response was???? To insult them back (offending any number of other posters into the bargain).

What did you get out of it?*

so rudeness is OK to (for certain people!!!! Sorry i'm obviously not one of them

So what did YOU get out of it/

nijinsky you may not have intended it but your post did come across as dismissive of DTG's problems.

You seemed to be saying that just because you can do it then so can everyone else. Surely we all have enough empathy to recognise that that's not always possible

I remember asking my mum for help to lose weight - I was always somewhat chubby, though my major weight gain has all been as an adult.

My mum refused to help me.

Argh on here and irl the amount of times people parents have been unhelpful/critical of their weight. sorry to hear that

In my teens and twentys I was slim, I could eat whatever I wanted and I did. Always been addicted to sugar.

However, when I was pregnant with dd I put on 4 stone. I was fat. From then on I was in denial. I just couldn't see it. I ate a lot. Bad diet and puddings with every meal, chocolate snacks.

I never weighed myself and just bought bigger clothes. 18 mths ago I had a serious life threatening illness and I lost weight. I then realised that I didn't want to spend the rest off my life being fat. I felt like a lesser person and had no self confidence.

So I went on a diet. I lost 4 stone. I am still dieting now and just want to lose another stone. It is a daily battle. I have a photo of me at my biggest stuck in the fridge so I can see it every time I am looking for food. I look back and I can't believe that I was so fat and I just couldn't see it. I feel upset and disappointed that I spent so much of my life being so ugly. I truely looked awful.

I do look better now but I never see myself as smaller and automatically pick up my old size when I am shopping. I will have to watch what I eat for the rest of my life.

As much as I get annoyed by the wrong use of they're/their/there I'd never actually pull someone up on it. Their literacy is their issue. Not mine.

Nijinsky - you mentioned people making excuses why they can't lose weight - it is exceedingly condemnatory to say that the complex factors that have gone into my weight gain and my difficulties in losing weight, are just excuses!! As is implying that all we need to do is to apply some discipline.

Chyna I was not remotely rude.

But what did I get out of pulling you up? I hope I made you think about all the members of MN who may not have your literacy skills...all the lurkers who worry that their posts will be jumped on because of poor spelling.

I'm v. overweight lost nearly a stone in nearly a month joined WW

I got that way becasue I couldnt excercise v. much due to injuries and I didnt help that by eating crap for years and then it turns into a vicious circle,

DavidTennantsGirl

The sad truth about exercise is that it feels absolutely horrible if you're not used to it. But it doesn't take all that long for that feeling to go and for exercise to begin to feel 'ok'. And then a while later you find you are actually enjoying it.

'depression saps my ability to do even the basics'

I know this feeling. I have to say, aside from the ADs, exercise has been the single most effective treatment for my depression and anxiety.

'Some days I cannot even find the motivation to shower - if I can't do even that, how am I going to find the motivation and energy to go to the gym or go for a walk? I wish I knew the answer.'

Energy breeds energy. Before I took up exercise I was always 'knackered' and spent a lot of time slouching on the sofa. Now that I exercise regularly and vigorously, I have bundles of energy. If I don't exercise for a couple of days, I really notice the difference as I become sluggish.

I'm not trying to pick holes in everything you say; just trying to illustrate how some of your thoughts about exercise may be misconceptions.

OP Being grossly overweight is not as simple to stop as you may think, people are overweight for so many reasons.

• Medical conditions e.g thyroid problems
• Emotional problems, depression etc haven't you ever been depressed, sad and lonely ? Well many people take comfort in food.
• Sometimes it's simply not being aware of food content that may lead to weight gain.
• Unhealthy Eating habits learnt from childhood.
• financial problems
• a failing relationship
• general lifestyle, where a person works such long hrs that they don't get to shop and cook meals but live on takeaway.

The list really can be endless

It is very easy for weight to "creep" up on you and if you are already loaded with other problems in life, depression etc then you probably don't even notice the gradual weight gain until it starts to become a problem, by then you're probably 16-20 stone, and get depressed about that as well. find themselves in a catch 22 situation.

Eating patterns are not something that can just be switched off like a tap, many of the reasons listed here require professional intervention, or close mentoring, and bucket loads of encouragement!

People are very sensitive about how they look and cutting remarks just make the whole process of changing Nader.

Wordfactory - I never said that you were rude but that the poster calling people 'stupid' was. to me that is far more rude and nasty and therefore I picked him/her up on their grammatical error. Wouldn't usually do it as have dyslexia in the family but they were plain rude. Plus I spell badly all the te as my keyboard i missing all sorts of keys!

Meant to say "harder" not nader.

chyna I know the other poster was rude. That was plain wrong.

It's tempting of course to score points about someone's spelling or use of english...but that's plain wrong too.

Isn't that what we try to teach our children every day?

It is a shame that you lump all overweight people into one category.
I am 50 and have been dieting since the age of 12. Even so, I remained a size 16 for most of my adult life. At 42 I had a mini stroke and my driving licence was taken away. Despite having to walk everywhere pushing my 2 year old in a buggy, my weight started to climb (middle age spread me thinks). I redoubled my diet and besides the walking started swimming. Nothing worked. (I shall add that my mother suffered the same problem and when she was analysed by a local hospital, it was discovered that her body can only cope with 750 calories per day- the rest goes to fat ). Terrified that substansial weight gain would heighten the chances of another stroke, I paid £10,000 for a stomach bypass (an extremely painful but effective method). 8 years on, I can only eat the what you could get onto a small tea plate and because my intake is restricted, I have to ensure that what I do eat is very nurtitional; yet I am still a size 16 and weigh over 12 stone.
My entire adult life has been a mysery because of my weight and the pleasures I have had to forgo in order to maintain it and I find your sweeping comments both offensive and ill informed

nijinsky I don't think Davids Girl really wants to do anything about their situation at the moment.No matter hat you say there will be a reason she can't.

Nijinsky - I am not here seeking attention - I am trying to give people like you an insight into what it is like to be someone like me, so you don't think that all we do is make excuses for why we can't exercise/lose weight. I am not benefitting from this thread, quite the opposite in fact.