To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

[Judgeywedgiepants]

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

Can anyone explain the MacDonalds/KFC thing to me? As in, how can anyone possibly eat anything from there? The disgusting smell that hits you when you open the door has always prevented me from getting any further. There used to be a drive in one near where I lived, and it was always surrounded by rubbish - empty MacDonalds containers and bags, which people presumably just threw out of their car windows when finished, rather than putting it in a bin.

Thats a whole different lifestyle, and its not just the eating - its the whole approach to life.

I wouldn't say I was a particularly healthy eater either - I love chocolate and eat loads of it, so much that most people wouldn't believe me if I told them. But I just couldn't bring myself to eat a KFC or MacDonalds, or whatever. Neither did my parents...is there a link? My mother also used to take me out cycling in the countryside, and my grandparents on day long walks, and I was encouraged to do sports I was interested in as a child. I was never allowed to throw rubbish out of a car window. Again, is there a link?

Fook off OP, your stupid, and narrow minded

It is YOU'RE As in So you're just stupid then

I have lost 3+ stone (each time) around 8 times in my life. I have lost 5+ stone twice. Every single time I have put that weight back on.
To all those people who happen to have the ability to "just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?" as the OP puts it I could say this.

I feel morally superior to you as I can live on 500 calories aday every day for 9 months (which is what I did to lose the 5+ stone) without once "cheating". PLEASE NOT LECTURES ON EATING SENSIBLE. I did it the "sensible way" including exercise the previous 8 times.

I am assuming most people can see the ridiculousness of the above statement, yet a very similar one is being made by everyone who thinks they are a better person than someone else because they are slim .

Calling someone, lazy, slovenly and disgusting because that person is fat is saying that the fact that they are fat makes them these things, therby implying that the (usually slim) speaker is by default a better person because they are slim. I find that view absolutely incomprehensible and not a little bonkers quite frankly.

Chynah - at 20 stone, it is bloody hard to find any exercise I enjoy. That's part of the problem. Plus, as I have said earlier, I know I lack motivation, because of the depression - even thinking about an activity is like wading through treacle - actually doing it is 10 times harder than that. It is really hard to explain any better than this how depression saps my ability to do even the basics. Logically I know it is bad for me, and that I am capable of doing some things, but in my mind, everything is such a huge mountain to climb, and I just don't have the mental or physical energy.

Some days I cannot even find the motivation to shower - if I can't do even that, how am I going to find the motivation and energy to go to the gym or go for a walk? I wish I knew the answer.

This could be an interesting discussion if we could do without the abuse.
Anyhoo, I think that if you are sporty and active you are less likely to become overweight because it will impeded your fitness and that's the major reason sporty folk keep trim, IME.
I also agree with whoever said there is a difference between being a tad overweight because too much in, too little out and seriously obese which may have other reasons attached.

There's definitely a sock puppet or two here.

"how come it's perfectly acceptable to call someone a skinny bitch" Its not. If you dislike it then tell her. Why put up with something you don't like? You don't have to call her fat to prove a point do you? Just say you don't like it and leave it at that. I always wince when I hear people use the skinny insult.

chyna there are posters on MN with learning difficulties. There are posters with little no/education. There are psoters for who english is not their firt language.

Any one of these might cause a person to make a spelling error. Picking up on it is rude in the extreme. Calling someone stupid becuase of it is unacceptable.

Calling someone, lazy, slovenly and disgusting because that person is fat is saying that the fact that they are fat makes them these things, therby implying that the (usually slim) speaker is by default a better person because they are slim. I find that view absolutely incomprehensible and not a little bonkers quite frankly.

works both ways and anyway most of the insults etc have been directd at OP or those advocating taking responsibility for your diet nd exercise.

comments like this "For those who can't imagine being happy unless they are a size 10 or thinner I tell you it can be done. But you do have to stop being completely shallow."
"skinny girls are boring"

Charming

I'm sure everyone has their weaknesses and imperfections op.

Why do you let yourself lack tact and empathy?

"You enjoy running, Chynah - not everyone does

The trick is to find something you enjoy and then stick at it! Not all exercise has to be running!
When I have to get up for a race on a Sunday sometimes I HATE it but it feels so good when it's done."

Totally agree. Do you think that athletes leap into action, full of happiness, for every training session? Not at all! Most of the time, its a hard slog, it hurts and its harder than staying at home watching tv. But it has to be done to get results. For me, that result is getting under 20 mins again for 5k, but alongside that, it means I have to stay slim and healthy.

Before I put anyone off running, I should just point out that as you get fitter, it becomes easier and you have to find harder things to get the same improvements. So a 30 min steady run is easy enough for me, a bit like walking for some people. But last night I had to do 10 x 300m on the track in 60-65s and I was having a bad night, didn't make my target times and hated every one of them but the last two. I really felt like I couldn't be bothered, and my asthma was playing up a bit too. But I still did the session and felt much better afterwards.

Thats pretty much the reality of it. You practise discipline, and you get better at discipline the more you practice it. Its a learned behaviour.

But the difference is those with high self esteem don't really worry about others' comments. Sure they get on their high horse if someone calls them boring - but they don't really believe it.

It is not in the same league as calling someone names knowing full well they have esteen issues. That's just plian cruel and I can't see how nayone can want to be so lacking in kindness.

David's girl, have you had your thyroid function checked? - the 'wading through treacle' bit is ringing alarm bells.

I know not everyone who is overweight has thyroid issues and vice versa, but depression is another symptom of underactive thyroid so if it hasn't been checked please insist that you get a blood test. I had to ask 4 times before a locum finally did it and called me in the same day as my levels were so low.

Yes, 10 years later I'm still overweight, but bone-deep aching, fuzzy cotton-wool head and 'wading through treacle' thing all better.

but why do you assume that if someone's slim they have high esteem?

At my slimmest (8.5 stone), I was at my lowest. I had shag all self esteem and I didn't eat because it was the one thing I could control.

I'm just pointing out that there is a HELL of a lot of nastiness on this thread.

But the difference is those with high self esteem don't really worry about others' comments. Sure they get on their high horse if someone calls them boring - but they don't really believe it.

So does the weight cause he low self esteem or the low self esteem cause the weight (genuinely interested)

It is not in the same league as calling someone names knowing full well they have esteen issues. That's just plian cruel and I can't see how nayone can want to be so lacking in kindness.

How would you know if I had esteem issues? - how would you know anyone did before you called names?? Not verythin g is visible.

I personally have not insulted anyone so I am not sure what the "works both ways" comment means in relation to what I said

I was trying to point out that making a judgement about someone's character based on whether they are fat or slim seems like what some people might call "crooked thinking". I try not to do this and don't think I have made any comments (other than in a sentence where I was trying t make a point) about slim/skinny people being worse or better than fat ones.

Personally I put a lot of weight on when I left home. I was always left hungry through childhood when my parents did the shopping and cooking. It was tiny portions of badly cooked, cheap food like boiled bacon and cabbage [bleurgh] because we were quite poor.

As soon as I had freedom to chose what I ate and how much I ate, I ballooned. I equated being over-full with relief, satisfaction and happiness. I have spent the subsequent 10 years struggling with it and am now at a healthy BMI but have a horrible relationship with food.

I'm sorry to hear that Abs...I know not eating can be as destructive as eating too much.

But I do think that those who achieve a healthy weight through good diet and exercise probably do have high self esteem...whereas amany people who are seriously overweight (not talking about the half a stone at xmas job) probably have low self esteem. And as such it seems all wrong to try to make them feel worse.

I mean why would anyone? What is possibly in it for them?

Clytaemnestra "So all the nasty comments about how thin people can't possibly understand having a detrimental physical condition or have never had a problem in heir lives are just as dismissive and shortsighted as the ones being rude about fat people."

Very true. I have to admit I get a bit fed up of hearing from people who are maybe overweight and do not exercise a long list of reasons excuses why they can't exercise.

Can I just point out that I'm asthmatic and have to use steroid inhalers and monitor air conditions and avoid trigger factors, this winter I was hospitalised with pneumonia and am trying to get my running back to where it was and two years ago I damaged my achilles tendon so badly I couldn't walk properly for weeks and spent 2 hours each day on rehab to get it functioning again. In fact, like most track runners, I run a constant battle between preventing problem areas flaring up (such as piriformis syndrome and calf/achilles problems) and keeping training.

There really isn't a direct connection between weight and health in the way the OP is indicating. It is perfectly possible for someone who is really quite overweight to engage regularly in sport or physical activity and eat a healthy diet, and be in comparatively good shape even if they are large, and are likely to stay that way regardless of the exercise they do. And there are many people out there who look slimmer but live on fags and coffee and never lift anything heavier than a copy of Grazia. It comes down to what you put in your body and what you use it for. People need to look beyond physical appearance in order to determine a person's state of health. If you eat a balanced diet and take at least three hours' exercise a week, it's unlikely you will die of obesity, statistically speaking, anyway.

Well I'm fat, 13 and a half stone to be precise. I was a size 10 when I met DH, with a 26 inch waist. But I was 16 and had just recently lost all my puppy fat. 16 years and 2 kids later I'm a size 18. I was never a skinny child, always a bit chubby (not really fat though), I've only been skinny for about 4 years of y life. The reason - I fucking love food! All the wrong stuff, cheese, pizza, pasta, bolognaise (love Italian food), crisps, white bread etc. I don't actually eat loads I just eat the wrong stuff. I never eat fruit and will only eat veg if I'm having a roast. That's just the way I am, I'm not going to apologise for it.

Nijinsky - have you read my post from 12:42:37? I am trying so hard to explain why it is not as easy for me as it is for you. But I am getting the impression that it is easier for you to write me and the other obese people off as lacking discipline, rather than trying to accept that we might be struggling with something that you aren't. It's easier to codemn than to understand.

Well, my weight gain was triggered by post-traumatic-stress disorder suffered when I had a very young second child. The fact is that my children were not impacted, my husband was not impacted, but my waist band was. Well, I think actually it was the least harmful course of action given what I was going through. I'm losing the weight now, slowly but surely, but unless you've walked a mile in my shoes, don't judge me please OP, thanks.