I have posted before about this but I had the threads removed as they had to much personal information on them , but I would really appreciate some advice.
In summary DH has severe short term memory problems. Can?t remember stuff from 5 minutes ago.
He was originaly diagnosed with dementia but now it is thought to be functional amnesia, no change in his symptoms, just in his diagnosis. But thank god NOT dementia.
DH has spent a lot of time round at MY Sister?s house (His SIL)
I found out by total, total accident that :
a) My sister obtained a signed letter from DH to access DH?s medical notes. DH can not remember having signed a letter at all but I trust / believe that he signed it under his own volition.
b) My sister was due to attend an appointment (without DH or myself being asked to attend) to speak to DH?s GP about DH?s medical notes. DH can not remember even making an appointment but again I have to trust that the appointment was made by my DH.
DH puts all sorts of stuff in his phone so that afterwards he can ?remember?. He calls the phone his ?brain?. He knows that I look through it regularly so I know what?s going on when I am not with him.
No entry in his phone AT ALL about either the notes or the appointment though other medcial stuff he has discussed at my sister?s has been put in his phone.
DH can not remember what he said to my sister (of course) but has NEVER asked anyone else to keep anything from me (the TOTAL opposite is true).
I have had various heated ?discussions? via e-mail with my sister, trying to sort all of this out.
I have asked the following question (Via e-mail (from me) and signed letter (from DH) )
?Did DH specifically say that I was NOT to be told about the notes / GP appointment ??
My sister refuses to answer. She has stated in other e-mails that :
? I do not have to justify my actions in any way?
? My conversations with DH are private and confidential? Though it is ok for the man she cares for to be present for all the conversations ( she is a live-in-carer)
Also (BEFORE the change in diagnosis to functional amnesia) she did not inform me of other medical information and she said that was reasonable because
? at that time I did not see DH?s memory problem as dementia?
Soooooo apparently a man with no memory can ?chose? to tell me stuff 
and she is deciding his diagnosis rather than his consultant 
I have made sure that DH (and his medical information) is ?safe? and my sister has backed off from contact with DH but she expects that over time it will all be ok (the usual way ?stuff? is handled in our family e.g. don?t talk about it just wait untill it all just sort of ?goes away?)
WWYD ?
What reasonable explaination might she have for refusing to give the information?
Would her refusal to answer this be a ?deal breaker? ?
Would you end your relationship with your sister over this ?
Advice greatly appreciated.