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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect DH to turn out his own pockets before putting clothes in wash basket

28 replies

ZhenXiang · 14/05/2011 22:55

DH left important item in his pocket and then put clothing in the dirty wash basket. I then put washing in washing basket into washing machine without checking pockets.

DH says I should always check before putting his clothes in the wash as that is what he does.

I disagree thinking that he should have removed it before putting in the basket because:

a) he knew it was there and very important to him
b) he knew the clothes were going in the wash
c) he knew that I would not know it was there unless I specifically checked all his pockets

AIBU or is DH?

OP posts:
upahill · 14/05/2011 22:57

HMMM A bit of both I think!
I'm alway in 'trouble' for this as often DH does the washing and I get moaned at for leaving things in my pockets but putting them into the laundry basket.

I forget that's all!!!!

DeepPurple · 14/05/2011 22:57

DH is always forgetting to take receipts/tissues and chewing gum out of his pockets. It drives me mad. He agrees that it's his responsibility though!

worraliberty · 14/05/2011 22:57

I think YABU

I always check the pockets of anything I put in the machine..mainly cos the kids leave change and marbles etc in them and I don't want to break the machine.

scarletfingernail · 14/05/2011 22:59

YANBU This is one of my pet-hates about DH.

It's my fault his mobile phone went through a 60 degree wash Hmm

And I'm completely fed up of picking tiny bits of broken tissues from everything that's been in the tumble dryer with his jeans.

Flyonthewindscreen · 14/05/2011 22:59

Weird - I have just referred in chat thread to DH's wallet going through wash in his trouser pocket... YANBU btw

OneBadAsp · 14/05/2011 23:00

DP does this, drives me barmy! but i have told him that i NEVER think about checking pockets as stuff is loaded in (i do mine as it goes on the washing pile) so if there's something he doesn't want to get a soaking, he better remember. he hardly ever does though. luckily only recipts and tissues and the like have gone through so far, but it's only a matter of time! Angry

DuelingFanjo · 14/05/2011 23:01

you shouldn't have to.

I do because I might find money.

BitOfFun · 14/05/2011 23:01

The onus is on the person who puts the article in the wash to empty their pockets.

I have washed DP's weekly wages before, and he got no sympathy from me.

ReindeerBollocks · 14/05/2011 23:01

He is a grown up and should clear his own pockets. YANBU.

My DH does this, as do the children (I have given in now and check all pockets anyway).

Carrotsandcelery · 14/05/2011 23:02

YANBU

I expect to have to check the dcs pockets but not my dh's pockets. He is a grown adult.

BitOfFun · 14/05/2011 23:02
TickettyBoo · 14/05/2011 23:02

YANBU, but I always check OH's pocket as he's rubbish at emptying them too! Maybe if I washed something important of his he'd learn his lesson!!! lol

Original poster
ZhenXiang · 14/05/2011 23:02

I check DD's pockets and my own before I put them in the wash basket, just don't always think about DH's clothes. Has not caused an argument and have agreed to double check pockets now before I put them in wash, but still feel that if you know there is a very important item in your pocket that you should make sure it is taken out. Thought I'd get the mumsnet jury's perspective on it though out of curiosity.

OP posts:
MrsPresley · 14/05/2011 23:03

I have a rule that I will check all pockets before putting them in the wash but, any money (or anything else that I like) I find is mine!

It's amazing that when I got 30 pounds in DP pockets he never forgot to empty them again Grin

And yes, I did keep the money!

MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 23:05

YANBU! My DH has said the same but he's not incapable. If you're taking your frigging pants off then empty the pockets! I am not a slave.

BatFlattery · 14/05/2011 23:05

YANBU, this drives me mad. I'm always finding the most random things rattling around in the washing machine, v annoying. Why should we have to be responsible for their belongings??!

FudgeGirl · 14/05/2011 23:06

I always try to check OH's pockets, he doesn't often forget to check them before he puts things in the washbasket, but if he leaves a pair of jeans on the chair in the bedroom the cleaner often throws them in with the washing - and she doesn't check the pockets!

I did have a profitable root through his shorts the other day before I put them in the wash - an e-cig and a five pound note. Finders, keepers!

Short of that, always buy Bounty kitchen towel - it's soft on the old nose but doesn't break up if accidentally washed :)

AgentZigzag · 14/05/2011 23:06

DD1 is forever putting stuff in the wash with things in the pockets.

Her pair of shorts had a sock scrunched up in each pocket last week, she'd even done the buttons up on the pockets. Why DD?? Confused

But there's no way I'm grappling through the manky washing pile before I bung it in the washer, I'd rather pick billions of bits of tissue out of the clean washing tbh.

HIBU and he should grovelingly apologise (bended knee would be appropriate given the level of his unreasonableness I think Wink) to you for trying to get you to take the rap for his own incompetence Grin

Original poster
ZhenXiang · 14/05/2011 23:08

Like the idea that I can keep any money I find, but I am the main breadwinner and DH tends to lose cash and he gives it to me to hold unless it is a small amount therefore it is unlikely I will find a tidy sum Envy!

OP posts:
cat64 · 14/05/2011 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

IWillCountToThree · 14/05/2011 23:14

DH says if it was that important then he's a bit of a dumb ass for not removing it first!

I'm inclined to agree. DH is far too careful with his money to make pocket-checking profitable. :(

Firkytoodle · 14/05/2011 23:16

DH knows if he puts his clothes in the washing basket or in front of the washing machine that I won't check his pockets. Putting them there means that he would very much like to have clean clothes and will be hugely appreciative if they arrive back in his drawers clean and dry. Any tissue residue etc is dealt with by him with no complaints because he knows I don't like dealing with dirty clothes esp pants and trousers (skidmarks, odd stains, bogey ridden tissues, sticky unidentifiable things etc).

However if I get fed up with little piles of clothing on his side of the bed or lurking in half-unpacked bags then the deal is I am very very careful and must check everything.

If your DH put them in the wash basket then he must assume that its the same as putting them in the machine himself and should take the blame for anything that is damaged.

bellavita · 14/05/2011 23:17

I agree that the person who has left their dirty washing for the machine should be the one to empty the pockets.

However... in this household it seems to be left to me and I have washed numerous phones, memory sticks, wallets etc.

LordOfTheFlies · 14/05/2011 23:37

YANBU but like others because its me who'll be inconvenienced if my w/m breaks.
DS manages to remove his shirts by only undoing 1 button -little snake
Quality tissues esp those 'man' ones are not just a clever marketing ploy.They don't tend to spontaneously self desruct in the washGrin

peeriebear · 14/05/2011 23:41

I have told DH that I don't check pockets, and that if there's stuff left in them it will be washed. He is generally good about it, though I do find the odd random thing clanking around in the wash. (lighters that have been washed still work!)

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