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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to take nanny to court for £40.25

215 replies

VentiPeppermintMochaWithWhip · 12/05/2011 17:14

Long story short:
Nanny of 9 months announces she is 6 weeks up the duff to the guy she broke up with late last year... (it's one of those "If I get pregnant, he'll stay with me" babies that I think she is now regretting)

Got a text yesterday in the middle of a uni lecture from said nanny:
Cnt get kids 2day I quit

I immediately leave uni to collect kids from school, ask her what is going on, she says it's confidential.

Then last night, I tot everything up for her last wages and discover that she's taken too much holiday by three weeks this year. After deducting this month's wages, etc, it turns out she owes us £40.25

I inform her of this yesterday. She then has the gonads to text me this morning asking if she can work her four weeks notice?!?!

I very politely but sternly tell her no, that she quit, that she is no longer welcome here, and requested that she return her key today whilst I'm at uni.

I spoke to a friend who is also a solicitor last night, who has agreed to send a letter requesting the money.

I KNOW it's only £40 and it's not the money I'm pissed off about... it's the fact that she flipping TEXT an hour before the kids were due to be collected, that she gave no notice, never came to speak to me about any of her issues, nothing!!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Tryharder · 12/05/2011 17:52

She's clearly not in a good place - 6 weeks pregnant, dumped by the bloke and you want to take her to court over £40? Come on, have a heart. When I read threads on here, it always amazes me that people trust their kids with people that they quite obviously dislike and despise.

If that were my nanny and i received that text, I would be round at her house asking what the problem was and how I could help.

However, she is doing you a favour as you would have had to cough up for Mat pay and MatL has she stayed with you Hmm

EssexGurl · 12/05/2011 17:54

I agree with PaisleyLeaf - get friend to do legal letter but not follow up with court. You need her to know that she has really pissed you off. She sounds like she is in a bad place and probably isn't thinking through her actions properly at this time.

Do not give a bad reference - that could come back to bite you. You should only give a reference that is factually correct and she could sue you if you sent out anything malicious. You are however well within your rights not to give a reference at all - you are under no legal obligation to give one. Not giving a reference speaks volumes and of course you are not saying anything that she could disagree with and so you are covering yourself.

RunAwayWife · 12/05/2011 17:56

She sounds useless, cut your losses

AlpinePony · 12/05/2011 18:16

Well said tryharder.

OP Yabu, mean and judgmental and have just left a pregnant woman saint. Brag-Fuckin'-o

Also, how is it even possible she's had 3 weeks too much holiday? Are you saying
She's had 7 weeks plus holiday since jan?

AlpinePony · 12/05/2011 18:16

Saint = skint

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2011 18:19

Now you've said that tryharder I'm starting to feel sorry for her.

She must be in a desperate place really.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 12/05/2011 18:21

It's a measly £40.

You want to 'punish' her for leaving you in the shit.

That is a very human response. It is a very emotional response.

Take some time to calm down. It's not worth it. Just part company amicably.

You don't know what the problem is. Perhaps she lost the baby, or maybe she has become depressed, or any number of things may have happened.

She left you in the shit, she's up £40. It's not the end of the world. It's a pain in the arse, of course it is, but you'll sort out childcare and just get on with it and you'll forget all about her. Whatever is going on with her, she's stuck in it. That's got to be worse.

TheFlyingOnion · 12/05/2011 18:24

aplinepony the nanny quit. How is that "leaving her skint"? Hmm

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 12/05/2011 18:26

Seriously not worth it . She was wrong you are right . Karma will bite her bigtime .

LynetteScavo · 12/05/2011 18:29

You both sound very immature to me.

mathanxiety · 12/05/2011 18:35

I don't understand what her personal life/baby/boyfriend have to do with any of this?

The only thing that matters is whether a verbal statement that she is quitting means right there on the spot or whether it can be construed as the giving of notice. Make sure you don't have to pay her for the required notice period even if you don't want her back to work. Don't even think of going after the money you think she owes you.

Apart from the personal life and your disapproval of how she conducts herself in her own time, was she a good nanny to your children? Was she generally punctual and did she do what she was asked to do? You are both to blame for her having three weeks more holiday time than she was entitled to imo, so don;t try to pin that on her. You can't refuse her a reasonably positive reference based on disapproval of her personal life.

AlpinePony · 12/05/2011 18:39

Flyingonion - I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that the nanny is a fact young girl with fuck all in the bank who WAS earning minimum wage.

Personally I'm not the sort of person to take money/food out of a pregnant woman's mouth.

I was sued during my pregnancy and to a detrimental affect on the health of both me and my baby. Luckily for me I'm a bit older and with a partner on board.

ilovesprouts · 12/05/2011 18:39

let it go not worth the hassle

LoonyRationalist · 12/05/2011 18:40

I agree, fire her for gross misconduct - which her behavior yesterday certainly was unless she is willing to provide an explanation.
And forget the £40 is not worth the hassle I'm afraid.

Longtalljosie · 12/05/2011 18:43

As well as paying the £30 for the small claims court, you would also have to pay for someone to pursue the warrant on your behalf (ie send the boys round). It was £70 when I sued. So she'd actually be pursued for £140.

Just write to her and ask for the money.

fairtradefloozy · 12/05/2011 18:44

Forget the £40. The best way around the can't give a bad reference issue is not to give her one at all - you don't have to. The lack of response will be alert enough for people who are on the ball.

However, please be kind to her if you can. She let you down (once?), and is obviously having a very tough time right now.

mathanxiety · 12/05/2011 18:45

You are on shaky ground and rightly so if her pregnancy has anything to do with the termination of employment.

Next time, keep track of who is on holiday and when.

olderandwider · 12/05/2011 18:49

YANBU to be hacked off with her.

YABU to pursue £40 - not worth it imo.

Was she otherwise a good nanny? If you sack her on the spot, what will you do for childcare? It may suit you both to try and arrange something whilst you find a replacement. Although if you work at uni, perhaps you are near the end of term anyway and think you can manage without one?

Bogeyface · 12/05/2011 18:50

But Math, the OP didnt terminate her employment, the nanny did!

kartell · 12/05/2011 18:52

Not worth it.
My nanny took £400 worth of unaccrued holiday and then gave immediate notice by text on new year's day, claiming a shock proposal and a new life overseas (leaving me under a week to find a new nanny). Coincidentally she had moved out of her flat before Christmas, reminded me several times how she needed the money to see her through Christmas, and failed to respond to any texts asking for it back.
She's on Facebook and I'd love to send her a bitter message hoping that someone cheats her someday, but you just have to deal with people like that with a bit of grace and rise above it. Chalk it up to experience as much as it pisses you off.

jugglingjo · 12/05/2011 18:53

I've worked as a nanny so I guess that's partly what gives me a different perspective.
She looked after your kids for 9 months, she did a good job of it, no ?
Be grateful, forget the £40 and the holiday issue, and give her the good reference she deserves.
Slightly odd she suddenly quit by text, but really no serious harm was done was it ?
Then send her a nice card when she becomes a mother herself !
Life's too short for all this agro and bad feeling !

mathanxiety · 12/05/2011 19:00

If there was some clause in her contract about requiring a period of notice, can this be enforced even if she said she was quitting and implying that this was effective immediately? Asking for the keys back when she thought she would be working for four weeks notice period means she was effectively fired. And the reasons for the firing need to be clearcut and related to her overall performance, not necessarily to one incident, and have nothing to do with her personal life.

stillfrazzled · 12/05/2011 19:02

A card?

She left OP in the lurch by quitting on ONE HOUR'S NOTICE, leaving the children stranded and OP in need of new childcare.

No, no harm was done, but that's no thanks to her.

Would let the £40 go, but don't reward such unprofessional, selfish and sloppy behaviour with a reference or anything else.

BTW have heard the thing to do is give v factual ref confirming dates, but also give phone number and say that if any questions, Do Not Hesitate to Ring. Then tell the truth when there's nothing in writing...

UnlikelyAmazonian · 12/05/2011 19:02

I only read the first few posts after the OPs then had to go and vomit. How bloody shocking and horrid you are OP. I am utterly confounded and repulsed by people like you. Blood shame on you.

Need I really explain why I have such a visceral reaction?

Yuk. yuk.

UnlikelyAmazonian · 12/05/2011 19:04

Just framing her pregnancy in such derogatory terms is bloody shameful. Angry