Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my mum she is not allowed to give my 4m.o daughter baby apple juice

94 replies

sweetuphoria · 08/05/2011 14:00

I have not even started weaning my daughter yet and have explained to my mum that she does not need drinks until she is on solids and I will give her water then in any case. My mum keeps insisting she thinks DD is thirsty (I disagree cos have offered DD cooled boiled water on hot days and she is not interested). My mum has now bought DD some baby Apple juice and keeps insisting 'it never did you any harm'.

Mind you MIL is just as bad, she stuffs our 12M.O nephew with crisps, biscuits, she let's him drink from her coffee and fizzy drinks.

They both keep joking that they can't wait to give DD ice cream, chocolate etc. It makes my blood boil. What's the point in giving kids that junk when they don't even know what it is so would be quite happy having fruit and veg that actually has nutritional content.

AIBU

OP posts:
sleepingsowell · 08/05/2011 14:07

YANBU. Advice has changed alot since our parent's day. However I do think you have to apply some individual thought to weaning rather than being slavish about it (as evidenced by the regular changes of advice over the years eg wait till 6 months, no hang on baby should be having a full range of tastes BY 6 months otherwise you will miss the 'window'.....etc etc etc)

However you are perfectly reasonable not to want juice given to your non weaned baby.

I think you perhaps need to seriously face your mum with it - tell her that you are taking this seriously and that she needs to respect that.

I do find it truly weird how some people can't WAIT to feed junk to babies. Just weird. Will always remember my MIL and SIL trying really hard to make me give DS chocolate buttons at about 6 months old. I just didn't want to. I wanted him to get the full range of healthy foods and tastes first. And a baby does not know it is missing anything in NOT having choc - there are SO many years where the child will be faced with this stuff, why the hurry Sad

Gentleness · 08/05/2011 14:10

YANBU.

My parents and ILs make similar digs about things like how hot he is, how hot the bathwater is, how tight his carseat straps are as well as how thirsty they think he is - and so on. I had to have a serious foot-put-down moment before I felt they would respect my wishes even if they don't agree, but I still have to let some little stuff go (I try to make sure they know I noticed though!).

I make a point of reiterating the stuff I think is really important at every opportunity and just say no without explanation if they ask AGAIN about something I've already explained my position on - and decided I don't care if they just put me down as a control freak. They know that in other things I am really laid back so hopefully they can see some balance. Goodness knows how they describe my parenting behind my back!

SuchProspects · 08/05/2011 14:14

"I do find it truly weird how some people can't WAIT to feed junk to babies. Just weird." I am so with you on this sleepingsowell. My MIL (who has generally been a godsend) wanted our DDs to have chocolate at 8 weeks and constantly asks if they can have crap biscuits and ice cream when the DDs have asked for fruit. Why would they want to push this stuff on to them?

OP YANBU.

Original poster
sweetuphoria · 08/05/2011 14:33

Totally agree with all of you. I just fear that I am being a bit control freak about it, but then again she is my DD!

My mum said the other day 'I think DD might want a bottle of tea, you used to like your tea'. Ha ha give me strength.

OP posts:
sleepingsowell · 08/05/2011 14:37

a bottle of tea Shock Grin oh good grief!!!

SuchProspects · 08/05/2011 14:41

Tea! Argh. So many people suggest tea or coke. My response is "No caffeine till they leave home." Grin

Odysseus · 08/05/2011 14:45

A friend of mine was giving her daughter a bottle of apple juice a day at 3 months. Not what I would do, but each to their own.

However if it was someone else giving MY child apple juice, then I certainly would have something to say!! You definitely have the right to feed your child the way you want to, and not to be bullied by well-meaning relatives/friends etc.

minibmw2010 · 08/05/2011 14:47

Are you BF or FF? Midwife made it very clear to me that BF babies do not need water, they get all their fluid from your milk unless it is an absolute scorcher of a day (and although I don't know where you are based, it isn't that here for me today). If FF well then its your child, your call. Stick to your principles. Why do others seem to see other peoples babies as their "toys" when it comes to feeding, drinks, etc. ???

BrandyAlexander · 08/05/2011 14:51

We had the "my child, my rules" talk. As I made clear, dm has had her children, let me do this my way and if my rules couldn't be respected then it was not going to end well. Yes there was a sulk but she got back in her box after that! I also don't understand why people are in a massive hurry to feed junk food to babies and toddlers, they have a lifetime to eat it!

saffy85 · 08/05/2011 14:59

YANBU I honestly don't understand the attitude of "ooh can't wait til I can give the baby a MacDonalds/Cornetto/Cuban cigar". What's the bloody hurry? Hmm Think you need to have a chat about "my baby, my rules with both grannies.

I'm not overly precious about what my DD eats but I have some rules (no adding salt or sugar to her food, no fizzy drinks or other caffeine, no pudding unless a decent effort is made on tea) and thankfully AFAIK, all the grandparents agree with me on these most of the time. Although MIL doesn't like enforcing the no pudding rule and has been known to sneak DD "a little taste of ice cream" whether she's eaten her tea or not Hmm

Yukana · 08/05/2011 17:12

YANBU. 27 weeks pregnant here and my mother/grandparents are already talking about giving them sweets and chocolate. It's a big fat no from me until I say so, and any sneaking it behind my back will not be appreciated. Of course I'm not going to say they can never have chocolate, but healthy and nutritional stuff comes first!

WidowWadman · 08/05/2011 17:23

First child, I guess?

spongefingerssavedmylife · 08/05/2011 17:30

What's with the 'first child comment?

My dds both ate / drank stuff at the same ages - only difference was for dd2 Dm and MIL knew I'd stick to my guns!

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 17:33

There are always some who think only people with pfbs are concerned about their diets just because not everyone thinks like they do! :) Just ignore them - it wasn't true for my 2 either spongefingers- We must just have psbs too!:)

frgaaah · 08/05/2011 17:34

Your child, your rules. It doesn't really need to go further than that.

"I do find it truly weird how some people can't WAIT to feed junk to babies. Just weird."

Hear hear! What is going on with some people??

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 08/05/2011 17:34

Neither chocolate nor icecream are "junk".

Heaven forbid someone might want to share the joy of something delicious with their grandchild Shock Confused

YANBU to avoid apple juice, but YABVU - not not mention pious and joyless - to get pissy about a bit of chocolate or iceream.

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 17:40

Jenai - Why do you think chocolate or ice cream are less unreasonable that applejuice? I'm not sure why you object to them being classed as junk either - do you think they are healthy?

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 17:40

than*

foreverondiet · 08/05/2011 17:57

BF babies don't need any other fluids (although if someone else looking after them on hot day might be prudent to supply bottle of water).

FF do need water if hot. Apple juice is unnecessary. I did offer to DD at 4 months, we were abroad, it was 35C and she wouldn't drink any water. She was BF and she wasn't interested in the apple juice either.

Nothing wrong with feeding 12 month old occasional biscuit or crisps would be a bit Shock at coffee or fizzy drinks.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 08/05/2011 18:01

I think juice is best avoided because it's so bad for small children's teeth - mainly because of the way it remains in contact with them for so long (if their drinking it out of a sippy cup or a bottle).

Choclate and icecream are perfectly healthy in moderation. Both give energy and fat - which children need. And they taste lovely too. There's more to a healthy diet than plain nutrition.

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 18:09

Jenai - there are healthier ways to get energy and fat. Also, apart from there also being sugars in chocolate and ice cream that are also bad for children's teeth (sorry - I don't see your logic there) the sugar in them is processed differently by the body than natural sugars found in things like fruit - they just aren't healthy and completely unnecessary for children. Absolutely no need to include them as part of your diet to keep it balanced - unfortunately! :) Let's also remember that the OP is talking about a 4 month old here!

Juice sugars aren't great if exposure is prolonged (i'm talking about older children here btw - not 4 month olds! ) but drinking juice at meals and with a straw and then brushing thoroughly twice a day won't do any harm and at least does have some genuine nutritional benefit - provided it is pure fruit juice and not some sugary fruit 'drink'.

mummytime · 08/05/2011 18:09

My SIL was offended when I insisted that my kids 6 months+ old had fruit juice which was watered down.

BTW milk in bottles is also bad for teeth (i know a friends child got bad decay from this). Straws are quite good as they direct the drink away from teeth.

Also do beware of middle class malnutrition, eg. too much brown bread and not enough fat.

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 18:12

'Good' fats though mummytime! Not the ones found in chocolate and crisps! Fats found in things like avocados, olive oil, houmous etc...

WidowWadman · 08/05/2011 18:24

The occasional bit of chocolate or crisps doesn't hurt though. It's all about balance.

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 18:29

Why do you need to balance a 1 year old's diet with chocolate and crisps?

Swipe left for the next trending thread