to tell my mum she is not allowed to give my 4m.o daughter baby apple juice

[sweetuphoria]

I have not even started weaning my daughter yet and have explained to my mum that she does not need drinks until she is on solids and I will give her water then in any case. My mum keeps insisting she thinks DD is thirsty (I disagree cos have offered DD cooled boiled water on hot days and she is not interested). My mum has now bought DD some baby Apple juice and keeps insisting 'it never did you any harm'.

Mind you MIL is just as bad, she stuffs our 12M.O nephew with crisps, biscuits, she let's him drink from her coffee and fizzy drinks.

They both keep joking that they can't wait to give DD ice cream, chocolate etc. It makes my blood boil. What's the point in giving kids that junk when they don't even know what it is so would be quite happy having fruit and veg that actually has nutritional content.

AIBU

why would any one give a young baby apple juice? or junk food top a young baby? i have got more relaxed with each child but still would establish a healthy range of foods first before any treats were given. even then treats would be free from e numbers and sweetners.

my mum always says "there's no such thing as bad foods, only bad diets", i.e. balance is the key. So my DS gets only healthy stuff at home, but a bit of rubbish from time to time is fine. Having said that, if baby is not yet weaned and is having all milk (either FF or BF), I think giving juice is not ideal. I think probably cooled boiled water or extra milk is more appropriate. But it depends how often it happens, if baby gets one or two drinks a week of juice it's probably less detrimental than every day.

I gave dd apple juice only an ounce at 4months because she would not drink cooled down water on its own but each to their own and defo your choice as mummy :)

Suchprospects - again there is 'good' cholesterol (hdl) and 'bad' cholesterol(LDL). Good cholesterol is found in things like avocados and olive oil. It is the bad cholesterol that is present in crisps and chocolate and it does no favours for anyone!

Bubblemummy - My mistake. Not sure why I was convinced HDL wasn't in olive oil or avocado. Thanks for putting me straight.

OP YANBU. The "it never did YOU any harm" arguement drives me mad. That's not the point, the point is you said no, and with very good reason.

I was given sweets and cakes from being tiny, and I now have the most awful sweet tooth. I don't want that for my DS (18mo) so until the day he realises what cakes and chocolate are and asks for them, I shan't be giving him any. I eat stuff like this out of his sight normally, but if we're at a party for example, and I'm eating cake and he asks for some, then I give him a tiny bit.

Of course a little bit of what you fancy doesn't do much harm, but if you didn't know that this type of food existed you wouldn't miss it, would you? The longer I can keep it this way for DS the better!

Actually being totally deprived of sweet stuff might mean you don't learn self control. After all our bodies are still programmed according to ancient people who craved sweet stuff because they needed to store energy against the next famine.
My Mum used to reckon she had problems because she had never really had much access to sweets when she grew up under rationing. However you don't need to start giving your children junk, and especially not before they naturally encounter it (eg. parties etc.).
The only reason I've given very small babies (and then I think it was after 6 months) apple juice was when they had constipation, and it worked very effectively.

Mummytime, I'm not sure I see too many children exercising self control when they are allowed sweets/chocolate etc freely either! :)

"m not sure I see too many children exercising self control when they are allowed sweets/chocolate etc freely either!"

I suspect mummytime is spot on! Forbidden fruit always makes people want it more.

Not if they don't know what it is bruffin :)

It's not about it being forbidden as such but not introducing it ridiculously early - what is the point of giving a baby chocolate? All it does is give them a yearning for sugary stuff. And as for sweets, I am very happy that my children don't have any - they are so bad for kids and much better to learn not to have them

But bubbly they won't go through life not knowing what they are will they! I think the forbidden fruit comment is a very valid point.

To me it's about getting the right balance so they know what they are, what they taste like but also know they should be eaten in moderation.

Mine had it when they were little and they never had a yearning for it, we still have easter eggs left and they only got them from close relatives. There was still one in the cupboard from last year in february. Pandoras box gets opened one day and the older they are the worse it will be.
I have yet to see the argument for banning the stuff once they are fully weanied unless you can't handle the fall out of course.

At what age though Sirzy? My 5 yo has a small piece of chocolate from time to time. He doesn't expect it everyday nor does he binge on it at parties. My 2 yo still doesn't know what it is. There's a big difference between an outright ban on crisps and chocolate for an older child and not introducing them to younger children.

Bruffin, how do you know they wouldn't have been the same if you'd delayed introducing it?

OP, YANBU.

And it doesn't get better. Last week at my Mums DS (6) asked for a banana as her fruit bowl was full on the table. Mum replied 'Oh, I have biscuits or cake in the kitchen wouldn't you rather have that'

Meh. A child could eat chocolate every day of their lives and it really wouldn't matter.

Assuming that they have plenty of fresh vegetables, a suitable quantity of fruit, enough calcium, fats, protein and whatnot they will be fine.

I think it would be pretty sad if children exerted a lot of self-restraint when it comes to party food. Parties are for excess. And one of grandparents' roles is to indulge their grandchildren.

Food isn't just about nutrition. It would be a pretty joyless place if it were.

Jenai I agree that food is about enjoyment but I don't think that healthy food and enjoyable food are mutually exclusive - chocolate, crisps and sweets are not the only things that children get enjoyment out of eating. My children enjoy fruit, nuts, raisins, houmous, breadsticks etc. (and before someone jumps on fruit etc having sugar - they are different types and are processed by the body differently. We also use tooth brushes before someone starts on about tooth decay!)Also, you must realise that a child's stomach is quite small so if you are giving them things like crisps, chocolate, sweets etc every day then they are taking up room for other nutritious foods that would be much better for a growing, developing child.

You know something though, Ds has "bad" foods and still loves all the others you mentioned. The two arent mutually exclusive!

I don't think you can avoid a "sweet tooth" if a child has one. I was extremely strict with DD1 - for the first year she had nothing sweet apart from fruit - I would make my own yogurt with natural yogurt and unsweetened fruit puree to avoid added sugars- and very little sweetened food after thant. She has the sweetest tooth of any child I ever met. I was less rigid with her sister who is much more take it or leave it. Not sure if my approach had any impact, but it certainly didn't have the desired affect.

Sirzy, I didn't say they were. They're just unnecessary and take up room that could be filled with more nutritious (as well as enjoyable) food.

When we talk about grandparents "indulging" or "caring" for kids by giving them lots of food that's bad for them, we are contributing to the idea that these foods are reward foods, something special to be yearned for.

I find it impossible to ignore the context for this:
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/soft-drinks-big-cause-of-rotten-teeth-in-half-british-children-713373.html (a decade old story!)

www.theargus.co.uk/news/8193527.Rotten_teeth_putting_Sussex_children_in_hospital/

www.dentnews.eu/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=205:a-third-of-uk-12-year-olds-have-rotten-teeth&catid=1:profession&Itemid=5

etc

YANBU, my PIL were saying they were going to give 7mo ds an easter egg over easte (we were staying with them while we were having a new kitchen fitted) and regularly make remarks about what a poor boy he is because he can't have chocolate, sweet sugar filled crap, juice, tea etc....

I basicly told them that whilst he is still young and doesnt know any different then I will perserve his taste buds for as long as I can as when he gets to a certain age I wont be able to avoid it!

They do feel very put out but tough shit!

It is because a child's stomach is so small that there's a place for energy rich foods such as chocolate, although obviously not at the expense of the "good" stuff.

To me, stuff like cakes and chocolate - the things that should be consumed in moderation (although of course all foods should be consumed in moderation to some degree) are not reward foods. They are just food - perhaps food that you only normally get at Grandma's - but no different from the buttery asparagus you might have alongside some salmon at home (thinking back to one of ds's favourites when he was little).

Chocolate and the like only becomes a reward food if you demonise it in some way - which is exactly what you do if you call it junk.

"Chocolate and the like only becomes a reward food if you demonise it in some way - which is exactly what you do if you call it junk."

Exactly