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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell my mum she is not allowed to give my 4m.o daughter baby apple juice

94 replies

sweetuphoria · 08/05/2011 14:00

I have not even started weaning my daughter yet and have explained to my mum that she does not need drinks until she is on solids and I will give her water then in any case. My mum keeps insisting she thinks DD is thirsty (I disagree cos have offered DD cooled boiled water on hot days and she is not interested). My mum has now bought DD some baby Apple juice and keeps insisting 'it never did you any harm'.

Mind you MIL is just as bad, she stuffs our 12M.O nephew with crisps, biscuits, she let's him drink from her coffee and fizzy drinks.

They both keep joking that they can't wait to give DD ice cream, chocolate etc. It makes my blood boil. What's the point in giving kids that junk when they don't even know what it is so would be quite happy having fruit and veg that actually has nutritional content.

AIBU

OP posts:

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 18:31

Or even earlier in some people's case!

WidowWadman · 08/05/2011 18:39

I dont mean that you need to balance it with chocolate, but that as long as there is plenty of healthy stuff, the chocolate doesn't hurt.

I eat chocolate, ice cream and crisps myself. So why should I not let my child have some too, as long as her diet doesn't consist solely of chocolate and ice cream?

slhilly · 08/05/2011 18:41

I've got sufficiently aggrieved about it that I now take the piss out of the DGPs: "ooh look kids, Grandma's trying to give you diabetes again" etc etc. And Grandma is a sodding pharmacist! Drives me nuts...

Balance, my arse: not in a country where there are large number of kids with rotten teeth due to sugar intake.

OmniaParatus · 08/05/2011 18:47

I feel your pain. went out to vote on Thursday when I got back my mum had fed 6 week DS2 gripe water from an unsterilised teaspoon (he has oral thrush and we need to be scrupulous about hygiene). The pharmacist told her gripe water was fab for colic, so she bought it without asking me and gave it to him without asking me. I'm so angry the rest of it is going down the sink.
He cried without stopping for the next 3 hours and then fell asleep, my mum took this as evidence it had helped .
It gets no better, he is my 3rd, she tries her best to stuff the other two full of sweets at every opportunity. In moderation it won't kill them, but I do really wish she would ask me before she breaks out the cakes!

OldMumsy · 08/05/2011 18:52

FFS get a life, at least they care!!

Original poster

sweetuphoria · 08/05/2011 19:08

Well my nephew (who is 12m.o and getting fed the chocolate, biscuits etc) his father has type 1 diabetes so it makes me more mad that MIL is feeding him all that. Don't get me wrong I appreciate that a little junk isn't gonna hurt, but they do not need it in their diet.

When kids get older all they want is McDonald's,crisps,chocolate etc so why not feed them good stuff when you can. Well that's what I want to do with my DD anyway which is why I resent people trying to give her rubbish - especially before she is even on solids.

OP posts:

Astronaut79 · 08/05/2011 19:13

WE're pretty strict with DS and to be fair, my mum has said she'll abide whatever we want her to do, but I kind of think that that's what grandparetns are for. My sister and I used to eat ourselves sick at our Nain's house and to this day, I can remember the array of cakes she used to bake. I still have my own teeth, and I'm not obese.

I tend to think that what I don't know doesn't hurt me - although I was slightly aghast to see DS eating pom bears at nursery!

Original poster

sweetuphoria · 08/05/2011 19:24

Astronaut - I totally appreciate what you're saying and I was the same at my GPs, I'm sure most of us were. I think its just because she's so young that I'm stressing about it.

OP posts:

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 19:25

Children don't need them, don't know what they are until you give them to them and are certainly not better off for having them. If it makes you feel better for giving them to them because you think they taste nice (just like plenty of other healthy things taste) then that is up to you but I hate the way people try to justify it by saying that they provide fat/energy/sugars etc as if they are in some way an important part of our diets - they aren't and your child would get along just fine without them.

Original poster

sweetuphoria · 08/05/2011 19:28

Bubbleymummy - my thoughts exactly.

OP posts:

hairfullofsnakes · 08/05/2011 19:31

Agree a lot with bubblymummy and Op you are so NOT being unreasonable abd need to firmly tell your mum and mil that you will not be feeding your baby sugary crap!

What is this weird NEED some people have to feed their very small children sugary shit? My eldest is nearly four and has only recently had some treats like cake etc but unlike some kids who were force fed sugary crap from an early age, he has a little and then doesn't want any more. And he has only ever had chocolaty stuff a few times and never sweets or a choc bar and I am so glad I don't give him this stuff as he has plenty of time to have these as he gets more aware. I despair when insee little babies with chocolate as their parents think it is a lovely treat ( yes, how lovely o give your kids a taste for sugar so early on )

You are doing the right thing op and they need to respect your chiice for your baby

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 08/05/2011 19:31

Sorry, bubblymummy, you're not saying that fats aren't an important part of children's diets, are you? They really are essential for children. They would be malnourished on an adult's low fat diet.

thesurgeonsmate · 08/05/2011 19:41

I did quite a precious thing when I introduced solids which turned out to have quite a good side effect. I started with veg or fruit or whatever, and then I'd say, "Ooh, this is wheat week, she can't have anything she hasn't had before, except wheat, just so we know if there's any reaction" (No chocolate, see? Just veg, fruit, and wheat.) I also did dairy week, egg week and nuts week, I think. Anyway, it seemed to me that the concept of Wheat Week got quite a lot of respect from grandparents where general angst about not wanting them to eat rubbish wouldn't. You could really spin it out by creating lots of different weeks.

Sirzy · 08/05/2011 19:42

OP YANBU

However I think some people are over reacting with the children should only eat "healthy" things all the time attitude. DS is 17 months and loves making cakes with me and having a bit of one, he loves the odd bit of chocolate. Neither will do him any harm in moderation. Give him the choice between fruit and chocolate and 99% of the time he will go for fruit.

Its personal choice but I do see why any parent should be criticised for choosing to give small amounts of these things occasionally.

hairfullofsnakes · 08/05/2011 19:47

I see what you are saying Sirzy, and I do give my kids treats, I just give them 'healthier options rather than chocolate etc. But I think that cooking with kids is fantastic and making cakes together is lovely too, I just find some people's need to introduce sweet treats to kids a bit odd! My 20 month old has had a little sponge cake at parties and biscuits but mostly i give her the baby biscuits sweetened with fruit etc.

small amounts i can understand, but i know many parents who have taught their children (taught as they give these things to them every day so they expect them every day) to have chocolate/sweets etc every day and that i don't get!

Original poster

sweetuphoria · 08/05/2011 19:47

Ah good tip thesurgeonsmate

OP posts:

hairfullofsnakes · 08/05/2011 19:49

the biggest issue here op is that your wishes are not being respected and grandparents should ALWAYS respect the wishes of the parents - ALWAYS

Original poster

sweetuphoria · 08/05/2011 19:52

Agree with hairfullofsnakes, I really don't mind DD having the odd sweet treat once she is weaned and agree that baking together is great, but I think if you introduce these things too early that's all they want to eat and you can then struggle to get healthy foods down them

OP posts:

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 20:01

Not at all Ellen! It just surprises me how many people think the only source of fats are from unhealthy foods such as crisps and chocolate.

hairfullofsnakes · 08/05/2011 20:02

i have found this to be true op - i was at a birthday party yday and all the kids were going crazy for the sweet stuff apart from my ds who i allowed to have some cake etc but then he had had enough and wanted fruit!

i am glad i have been like this with mine. he is still young and there is plenty of time for more stuff like that later - he didn't have any easter eggs either as is not really aware of them and when we are out sometimes he will have fruit as pudding even if we have cake (although i won't deny him if he wants a bit!) and for brekkie has porridge with apple puree as that is what he is used to and accepts it!

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 08/05/2011 20:06

I thought that's what you meant, bubbley, but I wasn't sure.

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 20:06

Agree with hairfullofsnakes :) and sweetuphoria. We enjoy baking here too but we do tend to bake things like banana muffins or carrot cake sweetened with apples and raisins. They also like helping me make soup etc - I think it's just cooking in general that they enjoy - anything where they can make a mess! :)

hairfullofsnakes · 08/05/2011 20:18

oooo bubbly - can i get some recipes? please pm me?! you and me are like sisters me lovely! :)

bubbleymummy · 08/05/2011 20:34

Of course hairfull! in the middle of bedtime so I'll pm you later! :)

SuchProspects · 08/05/2011 20:52

"'Good' fats though mummytime! Not the ones found in chocolate and crisps! Fats found in things like avocados, olive oil, houmous etc..."

Not exactly bubbleymummy. Kids need a lot of cholesterol, you don't find that in most of the fats that adults consider good (but you don't need chocolate).

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