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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect PILs to get a fireguard??

118 replies

newcommer · 07/05/2011 22:02

we visit PILs for a few hours a week with our 11month DD. they have a wood burning stove in their lounge, now obviously its not in use now, but by winter DD will be running around, and as she is already into everything especially things that she is told to leave alone, AIBU to expect them to get a fireguard? Apparently I am as they are responsible grandparents, so they don't need one!

OP posts:
Beamur · 07/05/2011 22:05

It would be nice if they got one, but I don't think you should expect them to.

Littlefish · 07/05/2011 22:05

Winter is 7 months away. Your child is not running around yet. Stop stressing about it now. Wait until they see your child running around and then raise it with them again.

saffy85 · 07/05/2011 22:06

If it means that much to you could you not buy them a fire guard and they just use it when your DD is there? As a compromise?

My SIL has a wood burning stove too and it's never occurred to me to ask her (she has no children herself) to get a fire guard even when my DD was at that nosey into everything age. DD was never left alone so it was never an issue I guess.

GypsyMoth · 07/05/2011 22:06

yabu

your child.your responsibility. you visit a few hours a week you say.....

squeakytoy · 07/05/2011 22:06

YABU, teach her now while it is not hot to stay well away from it.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 07/05/2011 22:06

If you only visit for a few hours a week I would say they dont need to get one TBH.

mousymouse · 07/05/2011 22:07

Yabu, by the time it is on again your dd will touch the burner max one time and learn not to touch it ever again very quickly.

OwlMother · 07/05/2011 22:07

I think you are being a bit unreasonable to expect them to modify their home for the sake of a few hours a week. Presumably you wouldn't leave a child unsupervised near a woodburner, even with a fireguard, so it's all a bit un-necessary.

BikeRunSki · 07/05/2011 22:07

You could buy them one. I got my mum one for the same reasons.

inchoccyheaven · 07/05/2011 22:08

My in laws have a real wood fire and apart from a small mesh guard to stop the sparks from burning the carpet have never had a fire guard around the whole fire place. Was never an issue with the kids as some one was always in the room with them when they were little and to be honest I never even thought about it.

parakeet · 07/05/2011 22:08

There's nothing to do but buy one yourself and take it round once they start using their stove in autumn.

pointydog · 07/05/2011 22:09

If you're worried, you buy one and take it round.

Original poster
newcommer · 07/05/2011 22:09

well I would be more than willing to pay for it, I just think that if they expect to be able to look after her in their home then maybe they should have one for safety reasons, just kind of think that if they were truly responsible GPs that they would have one.

OP posts:
ilovemyhens · 07/05/2011 22:10

We have a wood burning stove and we never had a fireguard. We just told them never to touch it or go near it and they could feel the heat coming from it and never did. The only one who goes near it is the cat.

It's not like an open fire where they could fall into it.

pollyblue · 07/05/2011 22:11

Actually I think a guard is necessary on a woodburner when children are todling around and might touch or fall against it. I've had one for years and it gets very very hot. Perhaps you could - nearer winter - offer to buy one to use when you're there?

ChippingIn · 07/05/2011 22:12

Honestly, worry about it near the time. It's SUMMER enjoy it!

boilingpoint · 07/05/2011 22:12

YABU... we have a fire so do my parents.

Keep child away from said fire. then teach them NO HOT..

god knows what people did hundreds of years ago..

FoxyRevenger · 07/05/2011 22:13

I think I would not bother with a guard, it's not as if she will be left alone in the room is it?

I've got an 11 month old daughter too, and my in laws are forever going on about getting a fireguard and stairgate and I'm a bit Confused. I just keep moving her away from things until she gets it. But then I'm on the lazy lax end of the parenting scale I believe. Grin

PS: Don't repeat the 'if they were responsible grandparents' line in front of them. Shock

hopenglory · 07/05/2011 22:13

Do they expect to look after her in their own home?

Maybe as a truly responsible parent you should get it and ask them if they would mind using it

Beamur · 07/05/2011 22:13

On that basis I agree with you, if they (for whatever reason) don't get a fireguard, but you feel that your DD safety is compromised, then they should respect that and use a guard that you provide. If they won't and it concerns you, then the only thing you can do is not allow them to have DD there without you & you then have to take responsibility for her in their house and keep her away from it.
FWIW, my PIL have something similar and they do have a fireguard which they use when we visit and they also put in a stair gate - neither of which we asked for, but both of which were appreciated.

TheVeryAngryMumapillar · 07/05/2011 22:13

But they aren't expecting to look after her are they? you said that you visit them with DD...not that they're looking after her.

pollyblue · 07/05/2011 22:14

newcommer but where do you draw the line? Agree, fire safety is important, but there are lots of other potential dangers in a home - do you expect them to make other changes too? Stairgates, safety catches on drawers etc? If it's something you feel v strongly about and is only needed for a couple of hours a week, I think you should offer to buy it.

florencedougal · 07/05/2011 22:16

maybe they will be responsible grandparents as and when things are needed

not half a year in advance

squeakytoy · 07/05/2011 22:16

The reason I am against making a house completely child-safe and cushioning against every danger is because you cannot expect every house your child goes into to be the same, so you teach your child NOT to run indoors, not to go near the fire, not to play on stairs.

cat64 · 07/05/2011 22:19

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