Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hire Cap and Gown and have a set of photos taken because I didn't get to my Graduation ceremony?

48 replies

MittzyTheMinx · 07/05/2011 18:01

It was for a sad reason and for a long time I have just shoved it to the back of my mind. The Certificate for my degree is just put away as I wanted to just forget about it but a friend was Shock and suggested doing this.

Would it be poncy and a little bit sad especially as I graduated in 1997?

I sort of like the idea but feel self conscious about it.

OP posts:
jetgirl · 07/05/2011 18:05

My DH sort of did this. His graduation photos were terrible - the flash reflected off his glasses and he looked like he had laser eyes! So he had them retaken at a different university's graduation day a month or so later!

YANBU

IWantToBeAFairyWhenIGrowUp · 07/05/2011 18:05

No of course YANBU - At least you could have a reminder on the wall as opposed to your certificate being in a drawer somewhere.

If you are still thinking about it 14 years later, I'd definately do it.

bittersweetvictory · 07/05/2011 18:07

YANBU, lots of people miss special occasions for one reason or another and no its not sad, you earned your degree, even though it was ages ago it doesnt matter, i would say go for it.

florencedougal · 07/05/2011 18:12

i think in 5 or 10 years time you will look back at the photos and think what was i thinking :) i look at mine and remember the lovely day i had with my family and friends and the pride we all felt

to have fake photos done would just rub it in to me that i didnt have a proper "do"

ellifino · 07/05/2011 18:14

Well... they wouldn't be photos of your graduation though. They would be photos of you 14 years later wearing a cap and gown.

It's not poncy, it's just not... well it's not the same. If it were me, those photos would always make me think of the reason I missed the real one. They would be sad photos.

You need happy photos to celebrate your achievement. I think you should have a celebration - a meal out or a party or something - with the people who would want to celebrate this with you. Have photos taken of that. Wear a cap and gown if you like! But make them be photos of something real that happened. Not photos of you traipsing off to have some fake photos done because a sad reason made you miss your ceremony.

Original poster
MittzyTheMinx · 07/05/2011 18:16

I do feel cheated florence, but trying to find a way to redress the balance a little.
I feel even more cheated because my degree show was ruined and I can;t do anything about that.

I thought about involving a friend and going for a meal with her.

I'd like to go back to Uni and do the whole thing again, but I think that is suppered now.

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 07/05/2011 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 07/05/2011 18:20

If it floats your boat, do it,

But will having a photo on display be a more constant reminder of that sad time than the certificate you've hidden?

notsoqueenofclean · 07/05/2011 18:22

Could you not ask to go to the next ceremony at the university you went to?

I don't know how it works if it was a while ago, but some friends of mine couldn't attend our graduation ceremony so went to one two years later. They got their certificates but just attended the ceremony a little later.

Journey · 07/05/2011 18:23

It's too long a gap from when you graduated. I'm sure you'll have changed quite a bit in 14 years.

I've got graduation photos but never display them. I think it looks a bit naff having a graduation photo of yourself dispalyed in the house.

Why not frame the certificate instead?

lubeybooby · 07/05/2011 18:24

YANBU - go for it, you bloody earned it!

Original poster
MittzyTheMinx · 07/05/2011 18:43

izzywhizzy, I have thought about that..... the sad reminder, but the whole going to uni bit was fab.

I'm not sure if it floats my boat totally, but I do want to do something.

Framing it would be a good start though..

Yes Journey, and I am not sure who the photos would be for because I don't want one for myself and can't really give them to the people that you would normally....

Needs more thought though....

OP posts:
proudfoot · 07/05/2011 19:47

If you had a fab time at uni why don't you pick your favourite photo from your university days and display that as a reminder, or you could get something like a nice photo of your university town. I would like to do this myself. My brother and his fiancee met at uni and they have a really cool artistic map of the city where they studied on their wall.

I think I agree with Ellifino about the graduation pics.

I didn't attend my graduation either (no sad reason, I had just already moved abroad for my first job) so I don't have a cap and gown shot either. In fact in my family there are 4 siblings all graduates and only one got the cap and gown pic!

barbie007 · 07/05/2011 19:49

I didn't attend my graduation ceremony and it's one of the saddest things ever. I attended my husband's graduation 2 years ago and I couldn't stop crying. Everyone thought I was crying out of pride or joy for the occasion but really I was crying for myself because I never got to do it and never will.

Having a photo taken would not work for me, it would be a reminder that I never took part. But if it works for you go for it

Tortington · 07/05/2011 19:53

i didn't go to the ceremoney -but there was a seperate photo day. i would ring the university, explain the situation and see if they can accomodate you - after all you will be paying for them.

fedupofnamechanging · 07/05/2011 19:54

I graduated in 95 and didn't go to my ceremony either. I don't think you can recreate it tbh. You missed it and as sad for you as that is, it's done now and can't be undone.

I think you would do better to focus on what's going on in your life now and the things you have today that are worth celebrating.

Original poster
MittzyTheMinx · 07/05/2011 20:17

I kind of suppose that is it Karma. I studied Fine Art, which is my passion, but the last 14 yrs has eroded a lot of my opportunities for various reasons.

I am trying, within the life I lead now, to restart what had been a promising beginning to a potential career in the Arts. I was never going to be snapped up by Saatchi but had the determination and enough potential to do something.

It hurts to remember how the whole thing ended but by rights I should be able to remember my Degree Show with pride and at least some sense of achievement.

I don't like remembering negative things but when I see pics of people in their Caps and Gowns, it is hard not to have it all come to mind.

The things that are worth celebrating in my life now is a really difficult one TBH. There simply isn't a great deal and looking at what I am doing as opposed to where I dreamt I would be and worked to be is hard. But I am working on it. Smile

But thanks for the thoughts ... I will ponder some more.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 07/05/2011 20:18

Do an OU course in something you want to do, then when you pass that, go out for a nice celebratory meal - and get some photos done then, of you holding your new certificate Grin

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 07/05/2011 20:26

I really wouldn't bother.

I paid for the bloody photos (out of my own pocket) and gave one to my mum and the other to my foster mum. My mum lost hers when she moved house, my foster mother never put it up (although her two daughters' are displayed pride of place)...

CrispyTheCrisp · 07/05/2011 20:30

Mittz - you do it Girl. Be proud of your achievements Smile

BluddyMoFo · 07/05/2011 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crevix · 07/05/2011 20:32

I think it's a good idea. I'm missing my graduation in July and I am gutted. I wanted the DDs to see it but it would have cost around £200 which we just don't have. But come July 20th I am going to be really miserable.

fedupofnamechanging · 07/05/2011 20:35

Mittzy, you have the degree. That's the important bit. People who scrape a pass by the skin of their teeth can do the whole graduation ceremony bit, but it doesn't really mean anything. You have the important bit.

I think very few people end up exactly where they thought they would when they were 21 and the future was shiny and full of possibility. I got pg during my PGCE year. It sent my life down a different path and I didn't have the kind of career I thought I would have. Luckily for me, getting pg was the best thing in the world, but the point I'm wafflingly trying to make is that all sorts of things happen, some good, some bad and we rarely end up where we expected to be.

When I look at my old school and college friends on fb, very few of them are super high achievers with glittering careers. Most of them have normal jobs and kids and lives. It won't just be you whose life isn't exactly how you planned. And if it had turned out as you wished, then you might have missed some brilliant things that you have now.

BluddyMoFo · 07/05/2011 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

countless · 07/05/2011 20:50

i feel you mittzy, i missed graduation for sad reason too and always feel that knot or lump in throat when i see others photos...

but i'm sorry i don't think traditional 'post facto' photos will make you feel any better.

i think you should do something different to signify and record the event..maybe a wild 'graduation' night out in the cap and gown or a holiday pose on beach in a bikini and cap..

something that will make you happy anew and record the graduation, wel done by the way!