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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or have I just had the most disastrously Mumsnetty trip to the supermarket ever?

253 replies

FannyPriceless · 07/05/2011 16:38

DD ate all the grapes before purchase. The checkout assistant actually held up the remains before scanning and said 'What is this?' in a very disapproving voice. All that was left was a plastic bag, a stalk, and few squashed half grapes.Blush

But even worse than that, I LOST my shopping list half way around. We went back to search but it was nowhere to be found. I have to admit in all honesty that it had 'nice ham' written on it!Blush

I am mortified.

OP posts:
wotnochocs · 08/05/2011 10:35

'I had no idea when I posted this that I was inadvertantly starting the Great Mumsnet Grapegate War of 2011.'

Don't flatter yourself sweetheart

wotnochocs · 08/05/2011 10:38

Zukie- Not a criticsm of the child.The child cannot help being a spoiled brat it is the parent's fault for not being able to say 'No'.

goodegg · 08/05/2011 10:39

Grin at 'you deserve crap ham'

thisisyesterday · 08/05/2011 10:39

yeah cos they're really likely to think a homemade sandwich or similar has been stolen from the shop Hmm

far better then to let your child eat an entire bag of grapes and then not pay for it. right,

you "find the moral objections to eating something before you pay for it, when you are able to and fully intend to very odd"
the difference is that in a cafe you DO pay for your food. If you have eaten something that is paid for by weight and then do NOT pay for it that is theft.

you can dress it up how you like, you can claim you're scared to take your own food, you can suddenly decide it was only 15 grapes that you happened to put in a bag of their own... it's still stealing.

zukiecat · 08/05/2011 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 08/05/2011 10:41

and yes, your story HAS changed.

from DD ate all the grapes with all the Blush faces... clearly implying she had eaten a whole bag. backed up by the fact that all was left was the BAG, stalk and a few half grapes.

if you'd come on and said "I gave DD a few grapes when we went round the supermarket and she ate all of them" I suspect you'd have had a different response.

at the end of the day only you know how many she ate. And if you feel fine with stealing that amount of food then good for you. I wouldn't

fearnelinen · 08/05/2011 10:43

wotnochocs we have already established that said child is on a supermarket trip with mum who is delighted to not be having to do it in a wheelchair and elated to have made it outside at all instead of being stuck indoors with crippling pnd. Preeeeety sure a few grapes won't spoil this child.

You might want to lay off with the unnecessary nastiness.

thisisyesterday · 08/05/2011 10:45

yes, clearly anyone who has been in a wheelchair or had PND is allowed to steal.

silly me

fearnelinen · 08/05/2011 10:48

Don't be ridiculous.

fearnelinen · 08/05/2011 10:50

What I was saying to a different poster, is that it is unnacceptable to declare that this child is spoilt on the basis of a difference of opinion around what constitutes theft.

Being nasty, particularly when you've been given a snapshot of a background, really does negate any strength in your argument and makes it look like you just want to make that person feel like shit.

Knackeredmother · 08/05/2011 11:00

Once my dd picked 3 gooseberries up in a very posh farm shop.
I 'owned up' at the till, they weighed them and charged me 27p.
For THREE gooseberries!!!!!

TheOriginalFAB · 08/05/2011 11:18

That is what gooseberries cost there though.

Carrotsandcelery · 08/05/2011 11:37

The gooseberry story is bad customer relations imho. If they hadn't done that you would probably have gone around telling the world what a lovely wee shop it was etc and word would have spread to go there.

Instead you are left with a hostile story of being charged for 3 gooseberries and the resulting Blush that goes with it, frightening lots of parents out of shopping there, when they are probably the biggest customers and 3 gooseberries would have been a cheap loss.

Very short sighted I fear.

I used to work in a traditional fruit and veg shop and our boss used to encourage the customers to try the produce to let them see if it was to their taste. Grapes were the most likely try before you buy!

A view of the big picture is very much needed! Shock

Knackeredmother · 08/05/2011 11:39

Exactly carrots, although what I was supposed to do with 3 gooseberries I don't know! Was tempted to make a mini crumble to get my money's worth!

Carrotsandcelery · 08/05/2011 11:43

What, so she hadn't even eaten the gooseberries???? She had just touched them???? Madness!! How did they think they came to be in the punnet in the first place?

I love the idea of the mini crumble though. I am growing rhubarb at the mo and love the big leaves in my garden so much I will only cut one stalk at a time [mad emoticon] so make teeny tiny crumbles in ramekin dishes for dh and myself. Grin

wotnochocs · 08/05/2011 12:26

'wotnochocs we have already established that said child is on a supermarket trip with mum who is delighted to not be having to do it in a wheelchair and elated to have made it outside at all instead of being stuck indoors with crippling pnd. Preeeeety sure a few grapes won't spoil this child.
I disagree.You need to teach your children to be able to wait, and not expect everything right now!
The wheelchair stuff is irrelevant to whether the kid is spoilt or not.And the story seems to have changed so much, i don't actually believe a word of it!

FessaEst · 08/05/2011 12:45

Sorry, this, you put my comments in as a quote (which related to me giving DD prepackaged, prepriced items) and answered them relating to the facts of the op. I had only said I do this as you mentioned that you had never had to give any of your 3 children anything to eat on the way round the shops (which I find impressive, truly, as I am not sure I have ever done a shop without DD losing patience). I don't for a second condone theft and, as I mentioned, ensure if I give DD food, it is not priced by weight. As I normally only end up doing a shop with DD (as opposed to once she is bed etc) it is because we are out of essentials - therefore making a sw in preparation would be beyond me.

lesley33 · 08/05/2011 12:52

In the garnd scheme of things I can see why a supermarket would ignore the eating of grapes. But other posters are right - it is stealing. I always taught my children that we had to wait until we paid for it before they could eat anything. I have 4 children close in age - its really not that hard to do and teaches them that we have to pay for things first.

lesley33 · 08/05/2011 12:55

I kept my children occupied by involving them in the shopping - helping to find stuff on shelves, etc. Even when they could barely speak I would be talking to them and pointing out things like bread and chicken on the way round. If you involve them, shopping can be interesting for children - although it does take longer to do the weekly shop.

uggmum · 08/05/2011 13:14

I had a friend with toddler twins. She said to me one day, "please come to the supermarket with me, it is such a nightmare with the twins and I could do with your help".

I thought to myself, what a doddle, 2 toddlers sitting in a trolley. How WRONG I was.

It was a nightmare, one of the twins dropped an enormous jar of beetroot on the floor and it smashed. The other ate the contents of a tube of toothpaste.

Therefore, if you have my full support for letting your dc eat a few grapes.

CurlyCasper · 08/05/2011 13:46

Jeez, if being on the moral high-ground and always eating squeaky clean fruit leaves people so incredibly lacking in the sense of humour department, I'd rather be a filthy thief. This thread was quite amusing until the personal attacks started. Very Sad

Driftwood999 · 08/05/2011 13:50

Read a few pages, skipped a few! I would just like to comment that consuming something before purchase is just plain wrong. Shame is a useful emotion and allows one to reflect.

wotnochocs · 08/05/2011 13:51

'It was a nightmare, one of the twins dropped an enormous jar of beetroot on the floor and it smashed. The other ate the contents of a tube of toothpaste.
Therefore, if you have my full support for letting your dc eat a few grapes.'

Ooookaaay- so because you can't control your lids you have the right to steal grapes??

housemum · 08/05/2011 14:13

So bored of the usual round of fights (grape eating is up there with P&T parking spaces), but here it goes again.

Yes, taking kids to the supermarket is a total PITA. Yes, some people have to do it alone as they are single parents, or other half works shifts. But, there has to be way to make it as OK as possible without nicking the stock - we teach our children not to take things that don't belong to them, yet tell them a few grapes is OK. Where do they learn to draw the line between "acceptable" and "unacceptable" stealing?

Personally, my DDs get nothing unless it's a try-out that's being offered. They have to learn to wait. It's not yours until it's paid for, even though I may have already scanned the label. When they were younger I'd take a sippy cup of milk or water, now the youngest is 3 she usually has her own shopping list - she has no idea what it says necessarily but she feels involved.

madonnawhore · 08/05/2011 14:21

wotnochocs sounds like she's absolutely perfect. I wonder what that feels like...?