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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fecked off by these feckwits? What penalty do you suggest?

91 replies

ladyjennifer · 06/05/2011 22:33

So, tomorrow I've organised a big party. I posted earlier in the week here ranting about the bad manners of those I was having to chase for rsvps.

We finally managed to contact everyone who hadn't replied and this morning, we gave final numbers to the caterers which means the cost per head is now set and paid.

Then two wives phoned tonight to say their useless feckers of husbands had realised they had something else on. They didn't quite put it like that, but you get the drift. Not last-minute emergencies - one is working, the other has a football dinner booked. Ironically both were couples who'd rsvp'd early on, and one of the husbands even told me how much he was looking forward to it.

Bloody, bloody bad manners, and worse they didn't even have the balls to phone themselves to tell us and apologise. AIBU to:
a) tell the wives not to come either if they can't sort out their flakey husbands (I'd never let my dh pull this bad-mannered stunt)
b) Post something about useless feckers on Facebook
c) Never speak to any of them again
d) Put into practice any additional advice offered up on this forum.

I was out, so dh took the calls, which is probably just as well.

I won't do any of the above in reality, but am taking this chance for a rant here, as dh is telling me to calm down.

One of the couples are fundamentally a pair of freeloaders - they come to any occasion organised and paid for by other people, but never invited people to anything at their's. They are good fun though, which is why they we (and others) invite them.

I was expecting some last minute drop-outs in cases of genuine illness, children being ill etc - but these are just the actions of bad-mannered, thoughtless bloody men.

And....breathe.....

OP posts:
BounceBounce · 06/05/2011 22:47

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ladyjennifer · 06/05/2011 22:47

Bump - please don't leave me fuming about this alone - although I can see it's a busy, busy night on aibu.

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BounceBounce · 06/05/2011 22:48

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ladyjennifer · 06/05/2011 22:50

Keep it coming, thanks.... feeling better already

OP posts:
captainbarnacle · 06/05/2011 22:50

These things happen. People are crap. Nothing you can do about them. Try not to let it bother you, and move on.

BounceBounce · 06/05/2011 22:51

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florencedougal · 06/05/2011 22:54

just shrug and move on

life is too short

mamas12 · 06/05/2011 22:57

Make them eat all the food that has been bought and paid for.

BounceBounce · 06/05/2011 22:58

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ladyjennifer · 06/05/2011 22:59

Or send them a bill for the food?

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ladyjennifer · 06/05/2011 23:00

You're right, life is too short - too bloody short to invite them to anything in the future too.

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Serenitysutton · 06/05/2011 23:31

Nice use of feck through this post. Good going. And they are feckless feckers

MorticiaAddams · 07/05/2011 00:23

I don't think you should have parties if you're going to get this stressed, they're supposed to be fun. We always give a slightly lower number to the caterers anyway as they do way too much.

razors · 07/05/2011 00:33

Hate to tell you this but some people say they are coming then don't turn up.....take a valium

whethergirl · 07/05/2011 00:37

YABU. That's just life, people let you down, they don't often mean to, some people are less organised than you or don't take dinner parties as seriously as you do. I'm not one for letting others down, but if I took it personally every time someone else did then I'll be getting stressed about something I can't control and that, really, at the end of the day, doesn't really matter.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 07/05/2011 00:39

Sounds like a big party... surely you expected a couple to cancel? There will maybe me a couple of last minute people wanting to come who haven't RSVPd yet, who knows

I think you're getting to stressed about it.

As for "I'd never let my dh pull this bad-mannered stunt" Let? Let? Hmm

Whatevs..

nomedoit · 07/05/2011 01:04

Oh this is bringing back memories. Booked my 40th at a restaurant, had to give final nos 48hrs in advance, had to pay those numbers whatever, expected one or two to drop out on the day... Which they duly did as genuinely ill, fair enough.

On the day good friend turned up, I asked her as we were getting ready to sit down "Where's your DH?" thinking he was in the bathroom. "Oh, he had a rugby game he wanted to watch," she says as an afterthought. Cue taking his chair away and cutlery and paying for his meal.

nomedoit · 07/05/2011 01:05

I should add we had made it really clear that we needed people to RSVP.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 07/05/2011 08:07

I hope it is your birthday and they buy you some decent presents!

fanjolina · 07/05/2011 08:16

What Jareth said.

It's what happens. Bigger things in life to get stressed about.

kslatts · 07/05/2011 08:25

I think you need to relax and enjoy the party.

ladyjennifer · 07/05/2011 08:26

Thanks for all the answers. Yes, I expected some cancellations for good reason, e.g. illness, but not ones at short notice for reasons they could've forseen two days ago before we confirmed numbers.

At least the one who's going to a football dinner could've lied about the reason! He's clearly thinking the football dinner is a better offer.

Anyway, I have now texted to disinvite the female half of the football dinner couple (the freeloaders) who informed my dh she planned to come on her own anyway, as I can replace both of them with another couple who I would've liked to invite but there wasn't space originally.

Dh is appalled, but I'd be in danger of having a few drinks and then tellling her exactly what I thought!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 07/05/2011 08:32

I think its a bit mean to "disinvite" someone because her husband cant come.

Jaspants · 07/05/2011 08:38

OMG how exactly does one uninvite someone?Grin

I was going to suggest going through the reserve list and inviting but you've already got there.

Have a lovely party, sadly people are rude and do fail to RSVP / cancel at the last minute

QuackQuackBoing · 07/05/2011 08:44

UABU! You are being really over the top about this! The whole world doesn't revolve around you and YOUR night you know. Get over yourself. And to uninvite someone just because there husband couldn't make it is really rude. I wouldn't be surprised if the woman never spoke to you again. Do you have a general rule of excluding single people as well?