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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fecked off by these feckwits? What penalty do you suggest?

91 replies

ladyjennifer · 06/05/2011 22:33

So, tomorrow I've organised a big party. I posted earlier in the week here ranting about the bad manners of those I was having to chase for rsvps.

We finally managed to contact everyone who hadn't replied and this morning, we gave final numbers to the caterers which means the cost per head is now set and paid.

Then two wives phoned tonight to say their useless feckers of husbands had realised they had something else on. They didn't quite put it like that, but you get the drift. Not last-minute emergencies - one is working, the other has a football dinner booked. Ironically both were couples who'd rsvp'd early on, and one of the husbands even told me how much he was looking forward to it.

Bloody, bloody bad manners, and worse they didn't even have the balls to phone themselves to tell us and apologise. AIBU to:
a) tell the wives not to come either if they can't sort out their flakey husbands (I'd never let my dh pull this bad-mannered stunt)
b) Post something about useless feckers on Facebook
c) Never speak to any of them again
d) Put into practice any additional advice offered up on this forum.

I was out, so dh took the calls, which is probably just as well.

I won't do any of the above in reality, but am taking this chance for a rant here, as dh is telling me to calm down.

One of the couples are fundamentally a pair of freeloaders - they come to any occasion organised and paid for by other people, but never invited people to anything at their's. They are good fun though, which is why they we (and others) invite them.

I was expecting some last minute drop-outs in cases of genuine illness, children being ill etc - but these are just the actions of bad-mannered, thoughtless bloody men.

And....breathe.....

OP posts:
ladyjennifer · 07/05/2011 08:52

Squeaky - her husband can come. He has chosen not to. And they were one of the first to rsvp saying they would be there.

OP posts:
femalevictormeldrew · 07/05/2011 09:07

Jesus I am never rude to anyone on this forum but you sound like a loon. If you were getting married you would be a bridezilla. Christ sake I know it is annoying to be let down at the last minute, but to "DISINVITE" the wife? I think when this party is over you will cringe about this (and if you don't you should). And I'd also say you could be short a friend or two.

This is one case where I can say YABU. Oh and if you are going to get so stressed over a party don't organise any more. Jesus.

QuackQuackBoing · 07/05/2011 09:08

ladyjennifer He's double booked himself - it happens.

captainbarnacle · 07/05/2011 09:08

Yes. You really need to get over yourself. If I'd heard you'd disinvited my friend just because her husband couldn't come and she'd made the courtesy of giving you a quick call a couple of days in advance to warn you, then I would be cancelling my attendance too. You sound like a barrel of laughs Hmm

QuackQuackBoing · 07/05/2011 09:09

femalevictormeldrew Totally agree!

MissFenella · 07/05/2011 09:14

You are a shit host and I completly understand why people would not come to your party.

Try reading some self help books on what a good host is like and things may improve for you.

MoshiMonstersRUs · 07/05/2011 09:17

OP did say she wouldn't actually do any of the things on her list - she's just having a rant.

Just relax and enjoy your party OP - these things happen but it shouldn't stop you enjoying yourself.

bejeezus · 07/05/2011 09:19

i think its rude to have a reserve list! i wouldnt come if I was on the RESERVE list!!! Grin

PandaNot · 07/05/2011 09:19

I would be furious if you 'disinvited' me because my DH couldn't organise his time - I'm not his mother and I don't keep his diary, neither are we two inseparable halves who can't go anywhere without the other!

risingstar · 07/05/2011 09:21

can i just ask

are you emotionally suitable to organise such an event?

you have gone from ranting about people not replying to fuming about 2 people who have told you in advance that they cannot come.

seriously, disinviting people?

sounds like you are losing the plot to me

ginhag · 07/05/2011 09:22

...

MainlyMaynie · 07/05/2011 09:23

You disinvited someone? And you are going to ask people at the last minute as replacements? If two husbands had dropped out you had room to invite this other couple, so really your disinvite is just spitefulness. You really have no room to talk about manners.

femalevictormeldrew · 07/05/2011 09:28

Mishimonster

She did do it

"Anyway, I have now texted to disinvite the female half of the football dinner couple (the freeloaders) who informed my dh she planned to come on her own anyway, as I can replace both of them with another couple who I would've liked to invite but there wasn't space originally.

Dh is appalled, but I'd be in danger of having a few drinks and then tellling her exactly what I thought!"

NinkyNonker · 07/05/2011 09:30

Wow, how rude.

You I mean.

GapsAGoodUn · 07/05/2011 09:40

Dear Christ Almighty you are being exceptionally unreasonable! Shit happens - people get confused, write the wrong dates on calendars, get reminded about things, get called into work - being fallible is human.

What was that FB quote? "I'm not saying he's tight, but if you shoved some coal up his arse it would come out a diamond".

squeakytoy · 07/05/2011 09:45

her husband can come. He has chosen not to. And they were one of the first to rsvp saying they would be there

so why ban his wife from coming? he has double booked himself, chosen to go to the other function and now his wife who was possibly looking forwards to coming to your party is being told she cant come because her husband wont!!! unbelievable!

melpomene · 07/05/2011 09:47

YABVU to 'disinvite' someone just because her dh couldn't come. For all you know, she was annoyed at her dh saying he would go to the football dinner and tried to argue him out of it.

clitorisorclitoraint · 07/05/2011 09:48

YABVVU. For overuse of the word 'fecker' alone.

Flisspaps · 07/05/2011 09:52

Speechless. How spiteful?

QuackQuackBoing · 07/05/2011 10:12

I would love to know the wording you used in the text. Would you share it with us please?

Think you are going to find yourself down a few friends. If the one you uninvited shares what happened with others you are likely to have everyone thinking you are a dick and saying so behing your back.

MissyMaker · 07/05/2011 10:14

You have been ranting about rudeness but you disinvited someone by text?? Simply for the reason that her DH is unable to attend? Shock Shock Shock That is about the rudest thing I have ever heard. Since when is someone responsible for her husband's behaviour; should be punished for her husband's behaviour?

If you were going to disinvite someone (Shock), then you should have phoned and spoken to her personally rather than taking the very cowardly way out and texting her (are you a teenager? Hmm). I hope this woman declares she never received your text and turns up, making it really bloody awkward for you.

You are hosting a party for 100 people (according to your other thread). Behave like an adult. Accept that you will have drop outs. That's life.

microfight · 07/05/2011 10:18

YABU uninviting someone!!

QuackQuackBoing · 07/05/2011 10:31

Oh go on, tell us what the text said.

microfight · 07/05/2011 10:47

I wouldn't be surprised if the wife who has been dis invited is rather relieved!

needafootmassage · 07/05/2011 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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