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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have cats put to sleep

237 replies

WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 16:02

Hi

I haven't posted here much but have lurked a lot so please be gentle.

I have three cats at the moment, two of which I took in as kittens, socialised and have looked after for about six/seven years now. Since then I've had a son and as I live in a small house things are getting crowded. I wouldn't mind this so much if these two cats didn't urinate in various parts of the house. They have access to the outside and a litter tray. One in particular has been doing it for years and I've just had enough. It's stinking up the house, it's unhygienic and I'm sick of it. They have no physical problems, they don''t have UTIs: it's a behavioural problem. One of them doesn't get on well with the other two cats but I'm not prepared to play cat psychologist. I haven't the time or the energy. I'm beginning to think that I have to have them put to sleep. I feel there's no point putting them up for re-homing because who would want a six/seven-year-old cats with piss problems? It would also be upsetting to them if they were uprooted and probably brought back again. They're both skittish and not particularly fond of anyone but me and my DH.

So far this week I've found piss on a hand-towel in the kitchen, a chair and my son's toy garage. Fortunately, my son is particularly fond of the cat who doesn't pee everywhere and he's only three and a half so I doubt he'll be upset if the other two disappear. He may not even notice. I feel so bad though. I used to do quite of a lot of rescue work with cats and never dreamt I'd be considering this. I worry when people come to visit because I'm nervous a cat will piss on their bag, or they'll find a previously-undiscovered pool of piss or try to dry their hands on a pissy towel. It's gotten so I'm not that nice to any of the cats anymore and I think we'd be happier as a one-cat household.

sorry I've rambled. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
controlpantsandgladrags · 06/05/2011 16:04

yes incredibly unreasonable. You actually want to kill your cats because you can't litter train them? I really hope you're joking.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/05/2011 16:05

yes,. YABU, give them to a rescue who will train and rehome them if you must.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 06/05/2011 16:05

yes. You can't kill the cats for this reason.

You have taken them to the vet to be tested to rule out any physical problem?

I understand that you don't want cat pee all over your house, of course you don't. that is not at all unreasonable of you.

But you can't end their lives because you don't want wee in your house.

Rehome them (I know you feel this would be problematic)- perhaps to a farm? or talk to rescue centre, or make them outdoor cats or something. But to have them put to sleep because they pee everywhere seems really OTT.

justpaddling · 06/05/2011 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 06/05/2011 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooyHoo · 06/05/2011 16:06

are you serious????

they have no physical problems but you can justify ending their lives. you wierdo!!! where is the logic in what you are proposing?? surely your mind is capable of working out that rehoming them is a far better idea???

soggy14 · 06/05/2011 16:07

yes you are being VU. Buy some feliway - you can get it as a vapouriser (on internet - cheaper) or ask your vet.
We had the same problem with our cats (weeing and pooing) but they are now fine (we used Feliway and had one put on cat happy-pills for a bit). We used the Feliway for about 3 months.
www.feliway.com/gb/All-about-Feliway/How-do-I-use-Feliway

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls · 06/05/2011 16:07

If you are that unhappy rehome them, if you couldn't work this out before you should have rehomed them then, if they have just started doing it then there is something wrong and home - rehome them.

I would get your hard hat pretty soon, you are so going to be flamed for this and god help you if Valhalla sees this! Or any of the other animal re-homers. Sad
There is no viable excuse for putting these poor cats to sleep.

pinkstinks · 06/05/2011 16:08

YABVUUUU
You want to kill them?!?! That is awful, my cats are rescue cats and they were 6 when we got them and they pissed and shat everywhere, now they dont because we love them and look after them.....

Goblinchild · 06/05/2011 16:08

You want me to be gentle when you are talking about killing two cats you have failed to train?
Get them re-homed. if it's a behavioural issue you should have done it a long time ago and they might have ended up with a more responsible owner.
We adopted a cat with issues from CPL when he was about 5 or 6. Best money I ever spent.

bamboobutton · 06/05/2011 16:09

YABVVVVVVVU.

no vet would pts perfectly healthy cats.

ClaireDeLoon · 06/05/2011 16:09

YABVVU

Wow, just wow that you would have them pts over this rather than even make the teeniest effort to resolve the problem/rehome them.

RJRabbit · 06/05/2011 16:11

It's all very well castigating the op for wanting to put the cats to sleep, but realistically, how easy do you think it would be for her to find someone willing to take them on? Rescue places are chocka block as it is.

Sounds like the cats have an equal need to be in a one-cat household as they're territory-marking and there's intimidation taking place amongst them, so any rescuer would have that to consider as well.

catsareevil · 06/05/2011 16:11

You should give them a chance of being re-homed. They might cope better in a child free envionment.

It does seem bizarre to want to kill them rather than give them a chance.

LadyInTheRadiat0r · 06/05/2011 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead · 06/05/2011 16:12

Why not re home them? Confused

EmmaBemma · 06/05/2011 16:12

Don't assume you couldn't rehome them. One of our cats started doing this a couple of months after our first child was born. It was definitely a behavioural thing, we had her fully checked out. It was very much "statement" pissing, like in our daughter's cot and stuff, rather than because she'd forgotten where the litter tray was.

We put up with it for a good long while and tried lots of tactics like Feliway (a cat hormone dispenser thing that's supposed to chill them out), and gave her constant cuddles and reassurance. Didn't work, and our house was beginning to really smell, so we rehomed her in the end with the CPL, on the understanding that she should go to a single person or childless couple, which she did. She has since settled in with no problems.

Ephiny · 06/05/2011 16:12

So you don't want to 'upset' them, but you're happy to kill them? On what planet does that make any sense at all?

I really hope you're joking or trolling, and suspect you are actually, no one could be so cruel and stupid, especially someone who had allegedly worked in animal rescue. There was a joke thread on similar subject (about a dog) a while ago, is this more of the same? I don't see the funny side either way Hmm.

RitaMorgan · 06/05/2011 16:12

Rehome them if you must.

But for fuck sake, you want to kill your cats because you can't be arsed with them?

Goblinchild · 06/05/2011 16:13

Depends where you are though, down here we are forever getting deliveries of animals from other areas to the rescue centres. She should at least try, having let the situation deteriorate for so long.

TheOriginalFAB · 06/05/2011 16:13

Bloody hell.

Are you serious? SadShockAngry.

YABU and selfish and mean and cruel.

bubblecoral · 06/05/2011 16:14

I really can't stand cats, think they are horrible things, and even I think you are unreasonable. You took them on, they are your responsibilty.

What have you done to try and fix the problem before you started thinking about killing them?

You can't be the first person to have had this problem, there must be something that can be done.

You say you don't have the time or the energy, but that's just tough really. You have to find the time and the energy to fulfil your resposibility and sort your problems out instead of killing two defensless creatures for no real reason.

DooinMeCleanin · 06/05/2011 16:14

Your cats would be happier if you were a no cat family. Please do the right thing and contact a rescue about finding good homes for all three. People who cannot be arsed to look after their pets and train them properly when things go a bit tits up do not deserve to have pets. What would you do if the beloved third cat accidentially scratched your son/fave sofa? This cat deserves better than you.

My cat has ibs. He shites everywhere if he eats something he shouldn't. He can't help it, poor cat. I'd never have him pts because he is my pet, my responsibilty.

zukiecat · 06/05/2011 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner · 06/05/2011 16:16

I agree that you should try the Feliway. It comes as a spray or a plug-in (get both) and it mimics a hormone that de-stresses cats. You spray it everywhere they pee and it stops them doing it. It works. My local Pampurred Pets store sells it, so other pet stores must too. It's about £25 - £30 and well worth the money considering the problems that it solves.

Please don't even think about putting the cats to sleep. People WILL want to given them a home if you can't cope.