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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have cats put to sleep

237 replies

WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 16:02

I haven't posted here much but have lurked a lot so please be gentle.

I have three cats at the moment, two of which I took in as kittens, socialised and have looked after for about six/seven years now. Since then I've had a son and as I live in a small house things are getting crowded. I wouldn't mind this so much if these two cats didn't urinate in various parts of the house. They have access to the outside and a litter tray. One in particular has been doing it for years and I've just had enough. It's stinking up the house, it's unhygienic and I'm sick of it. They have no physical problems, they don''t have UTIs: it's a behavioural problem. One of them doesn't get on well with the other two cats but I'm not prepared to play cat psychologist. I haven't the time or the energy. I'm beginning to think that I have to have them put to sleep. I feel there's no point putting them up for re-homing because who would want a six/seven-year-old cats with piss problems? It would also be upsetting to them if they were uprooted and probably brought back again. They're both skittish and not particularly fond of anyone but me and my DH.

So far this week I've found piss on a hand-towel in the kitchen, a chair and my son's toy garage. Fortunately, my son is particularly fond of the cat who doesn't pee everywhere and he's only three and a half so I doubt he'll be upset if the other two disappear. He may not even notice. I feel so bad though. I used to do quite of a lot of rescue work with cats and never dreamt I'd be considering this. I worry when people come to visit because I'm nervous a cat will piss on their bag, or they'll find a previously-undiscovered pool of piss or try to dry their hands on a pissy towel. It's gotten so I'm not that nice to any of the cats anymore and I think we'd be happier as a one-cat household.

sorry I've rambled. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:

hatwoman · 06/05/2011 16:29

on a more constructive note - try a litter called cat attract - it's very good

Original poster

WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 16:29

It's not the first thing I've thought of. It's the last resort. The reason I am reluctant to rehome them is that I'm aware how few places there are for cats. I'm wavering now between getting a kennel and getting in touch with a rescue.

OP posts:

Maryz · 06/05/2011 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooyHoo · 06/05/2011 16:30

i have two cats, one male, one female and am well aware of the stench of cat pee. it isn't pleasant. one of mine is a regular offender atm. the first thing that came into my head, was not to kill her, rather to take her to the vet and try and find out what is wrong with her.

ragged · 06/05/2011 16:30

I suspect there's a huge philosophical difference here... imho, death is not intrinsically cruel; but ignoring a poor quality of life would be cruel. The cats behaviour shows they are not happy, so not having a good life, so to continue as things are could well be more cruel than death. That said, you've got to give many other options a chance. You know it's behavioural, something must be possible to alter their behaviour.

mollymole · 06/05/2011 16:30

you worked in cat rescue and yet you will consider killing healthy cats because you can't litter train them properly - how do they piss on the towels etc do you leave them on the floor/beds/chairs etc and as you well know once they have 'marked' their territory they will come back to it - you need to clean and scrub thoroughly and when they are in the house leave them in 1 room, along with their litter tray
you say you know about feliway but in your posting you make it clear that you can't be arsed to 'do' your home cos you may have to use it in more than a few places !!!
they can't stay outside cos you have a 'small yard' but you have a shed full of tools - what are these tools for if you have no garden and a small yard
you are making excuses up to cover for the fact that you want to kill perfectly healthy animals
try to rehome them as they deserve some one better than you to care for them

ClaireDeLoon · 06/05/2011 16:31

Twooter - I know very well just how stinky cat pee (esp male cat wee) is. One of mine gets stressed and will pee on things (last time it was my towelling robe) but we worked out what stresses him so to avoid him being stressed as much as we can and keep things he may wee on out of the way as much as possible so incidents are now very rare. You haveto try to find ways around problems IMHO.

TheOriginalFAB · 06/05/2011 16:31

How can you say they are cared for when clearly there is something wrong? Cats generally don't piss everywhere for the fun of it.

If your yard is so tiny, how is a kennel going to be any good?

Anythingwithagiraffeonit · 06/05/2011 16:31

This isn't for real.

No one is this much of a bitch.

I smell Troll.

BooyHoo · 06/05/2011 16:32

so you haven't even tried rehoming? you are just assuming it wont be possible? coem on OP you know killing them is the lazy option dont you? exhaust all options before you think of getting them PTS. as their owner and carer it is your responsibility. you cant just not even try.

zukiecat · 06/05/2011 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thingumy · 06/05/2011 16:33

I had this problem with our cat and last year I really got fed up with having to wash duvets and chucking pilllows,shoes,clothing,books everything away due to him pissing on anything and everything.

I didn't get him put to sleep but did think about it -he's 15 so a old boy.

I don't leave anything about,shoes are put away and our bedrooms doors are shut or locked.I don't leave cushions on sofas (a favourite place) and I use disinfectant to clean floors or areas where he pissed (like wardrobes if they were left open) so it got rid of stale urine and minimized marking again.

Mine is a 98% indoor cat and I kicked myself up the arse and now clean his litter tray DAILY instead of being a slattern and leaving it for several days.

He doesn't piss everywhere now so life is much better.

If you mind is made up about not having these cats,you really need to speak to your local shelter or vet so they can give advice.

twooter · 06/05/2011 16:36

But if the stress is that they live with other cats, which is one of the most common reasons for this, then you can't deal with the stress unless you deal with the other cats presence. With respect to the dog comparison, I meant that stopping a cat from peeing in the house isn't like having to housetrain a puppy - the problem is not just because the op is lazy.

I agree with ragged

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 06/05/2011 16:37

Would you have your DC out down if they started pissing their pants??

I had a lovely cat who bless her heart started pissing on my lovely lounge rug. Whilst it infuriated me no end, there is no way I would have contemplated having her put to sleep for it. She was an old girl, I had had the best years of her life and I had to have her PTS when she was 16 as she was poorly.

Re-home then, they sound like they would be better off with someone else anyway!

ClaireDeLoon · 06/05/2011 16:37

Thingumy that's a good point - my cats hate a dirty tray so when I had my old cat and he weed a lot (kidney disease) I would have to change the litter daily to stop the other 2 cats opting to go elsewhere. It's very important in a multi cat household. Maybe this may be part of the problem OP?

Original poster

WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 16:37

Ragged: thanks for your understanding.

Mollymole: I never know where they will piss next so I can't feliway every surface and chair in the house. They piss against walls, drawers, cupboard, not usually on the floor. We have tiny shed, just about room to walk in and my DH has it full of tools for doing DIY and my mum's garden. And no, my mum won't take them. I've asked her and I've asked other friends.

I don't know what the issue is, whether it's a power-struggle between them or something else. The worst offender did it before my son was born but she was stray and practically wild when I took her in and so maybe that's why she's odd.

OP posts:

Thingumy · 06/05/2011 16:41

advice from PDSA regarding cat litter trays for multi cat households.

'If you have more than one cat you should provide as many litter trays as there are cats, plus one. So for two cats you should provide three litter trays. Each litter tray should be in a different part of the house. This is because cats need their own separate toilet areas. Having to come close to other cats to go to the toilet can be a cause of chronic stress. This can result in medical conditions, such as stress-related diseases of the urinary system.'

Northernlurker · 06/05/2011 16:41

How many litter trays do you have? Three cats may need as many as 4 in various places.

BooyHoo · 06/05/2011 16:42

OP have you contacted any rescues? put up cards in supermarket/shops/vets? ad in newspapers? have you called your vet to ask for advice? have you tried having three separate litter trays? have your tried the feliway plug-ins?

Northernlurker · 06/05/2011 16:42

Thingumy x post

Original poster

WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 16:42

If we got a kennel it would take up most of the yard and I doubt they'd share it. They like being indoors. It could be an option though.

I don't want to put them to sleep.

OP posts:

Thingumy · 06/05/2011 16:42

Northern

ClaireDeLoon · 06/05/2011 16:43

The ex-stray that was practically wild - does she like humans? The one of mine that pees is ex-feral and does not like humans apart from us, but he is getting better. For a while I did think about whether he would be happier as a farm cat. Maybe she just doesn't like living in a house? my ex-feral would much rather sleep outside and in this fine weather usually does.

Original poster

WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 16:48

ClaireDeLoon: no, she doesn't like humans. To be honest, she just likes me and I know that makes having her put to sleep an huge abuse of her trust but it also makes me nervous about rehoming her. I can't see her settling with anyone else.

OP posts:

breatheslowly · 06/05/2011 16:48

I agree with ragged - by all means give behavioural options a chance and offer them to a rescue for rehoming - but I don't see anything wrong in having a cat put to sleep if these don't work. I am not sure why people get het up with personal pets, but eat meat, especially given the conditions in factory farming. I assume you take them to the vet for vaccinations, I don't see how this is different to that, the cat doesn't know that it won't wake up again. If your local rescues don't think you have a chance of having them rehomed and the alternatives are a life in the rescue centre or a few weeks in the rescue centre followed by putting them to sleep (not sure if rescue centres do that or not) then it is probably kinder to have them put to sleep directly rather than the stress of moving first or living in a tiny rescue space for the rest of their lives.

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