Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have cats put to sleep

237 replies

WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 16:02

Hi

I haven't posted here much but have lurked a lot so please be gentle.

I have three cats at the moment, two of which I took in as kittens, socialised and have looked after for about six/seven years now. Since then I've had a son and as I live in a small house things are getting crowded. I wouldn't mind this so much if these two cats didn't urinate in various parts of the house. They have access to the outside and a litter tray. One in particular has been doing it for years and I've just had enough. It's stinking up the house, it's unhygienic and I'm sick of it. They have no physical problems, they don''t have UTIs: it's a behavioural problem. One of them doesn't get on well with the other two cats but I'm not prepared to play cat psychologist. I haven't the time or the energy. I'm beginning to think that I have to have them put to sleep. I feel there's no point putting them up for re-homing because who would want a six/seven-year-old cats with piss problems? It would also be upsetting to them if they were uprooted and probably brought back again. They're both skittish and not particularly fond of anyone but me and my DH.

So far this week I've found piss on a hand-towel in the kitchen, a chair and my son's toy garage. Fortunately, my son is particularly fond of the cat who doesn't pee everywhere and he's only three and a half so I doubt he'll be upset if the other two disappear. He may not even notice. I feel so bad though. I used to do quite of a lot of rescue work with cats and never dreamt I'd be considering this. I worry when people come to visit because I'm nervous a cat will piss on their bag, or they'll find a previously-undiscovered pool of piss or try to dry their hands on a pissy towel. It's gotten so I'm not that nice to any of the cats anymore and I think we'd be happier as a one-cat household.

sorry I've rambled. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
RunningDay · 06/05/2011 16:49

If only all of life's problems could be solved so easily...

I will put my Shock aside, and give you the benefit of the doubt that the stress of the situation is causing you to think this way.

But seriously, you can't put them down. You have a responsibility to them, like your children. Fastforward to being the mother of a smelly teenager. Think about it.

ClaireDeLoon · 06/05/2011 16:51

So do you think if she lived in a kennel in your yard the other two may have their stress levels reduced without her in the house? Perhaps it is her stress levels that are affecting the other two?

Thornham · 06/05/2011 16:51

I foster cats and loads of the ones we take in have pissing problems. If you've checked that there are no physical issues, the psychological ones can be solved and an experienced fosterer with a good rescue will sort them out fairly quickly. Please call your local CPL or independent cat shelter and please don't have them PTS. A good vet wouldn't let you anyway.

PurpleRayne · 06/05/2011 16:51

They deserve the chance of a good home. They didn't ask to join your household. Be responsible and do the right thing (for all 3).

minipie · 06/05/2011 16:53

"I am not sure why people get het up with personal pets, but eat meat."

Because a person who takes on a pet has made the decision to take on responsibility for that animal's welfare. IMO that decision is similar to having a child - it means you can't just "get rid" if the animal becomes inconvenient or develops some unpleasant habits. And you certainly can't kill them. Very different to eating an animal that's been bred for meat.

Original poster
WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 16:54

Yes, the stress of this situation is making me think this way. You're right, RunningDay. I found another chair pissed on and just snapped.

Despite the abuse I'm glad I've posted here. I spent weeks, if not months, making that bloody cat trust me and I was so happy when she finally did. I probably couldn't live with myself if I had them put to sleep. I would be ashamed, believe me.

OP posts:
Maryz · 06/05/2011 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/05/2011 16:55

OP... Please get them rehomed. There are sanctuaries like Hawarth based near Yorkshire, I think. There may be local ones to you also. Take the time to find one, travel whatever distance it is to take them there and then have the decency to leave a very good donation for whichever one is going to take your problem off your hands.

I won't bother to flame you, but will ask you to please promise yourself that you will NEVER, EVER AGAIN have a pet, not any pet, for the sake of that pet.

twooter · 06/05/2011 16:55

How can you equate cats pissing all over the house to your own children having a bit of BO?

Original poster
WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 16:58

The other pissing cat isn't so psychologically odd, just a bit skittish and timid. She doesn't pee inappropriately as much. She's not as attached to us. She might be better off being rehomed. If she'd stop pissing, she would make a lovely pet for an older person. She's extremely affectionate once she gets going but likes peace and quiet.

OP posts:
ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls · 06/05/2011 17:01

I am wondering if some of the dog orientated comments are directed at me, I also have a cat that has crapped and pissed its way around my house, a favourite place is the shower and the bath Hmm which is nice, however he does a variety of things that really piss me off ( usually to do with killing smaller and sometimes same size creatures as himself!) but I wouldn't dream of having him put to sleep.

with the dog I was at the end of my tether and getting very angry with her, so we all took a step back and worked out what would make out life better and her life better and suddenly the clouds parted and it was a ray of light and we sorted some of her behavioural issues. So no I am not comparing having a dog and a cat, we have both, but that some issues can be resolved by alternatives. Perhaps the op wouldn't have been flamed quite so much if she had worded the title differently, or perhaps had asked in the litter tray first.............

Is there anyway that you can put them all into a cattery for a week to give yourself a break and get some perspective?

hester · 06/05/2011 17:02

I love cats - and I think you've had a really hard time on this thread, OP. I'm very sympathetic to you not wanting your house to smell like pee, though I do think you might have thought earlier that you had too many cats in one house. Cats do not enjoy cat company, by and large; they are intensely territorial and find sharing their territory very stressful.

So I think you should actively pursue splitting the cats up into separate homes. You say it will be impossible to rehome them and you may be right; but do try to find ways of doing so. Maybe some of the posters on this thread may like to volunteer?

If you're not successful, then you'll have to see what your vet can suggest. Living with a stinky house for the next decade does seem like a big ask, but do try to explore all the options before you call it a day.

breatheslowly · 06/05/2011 17:04

Sorry minipie - I still don't see the difference morally and don't really get the equating pets and children.

hester · 06/05/2011 17:04

Oh, and what Maryz said. Let's keep some perspective, people.

wotnochocs · 06/05/2011 17:05

I put my cat down when it became incontinent when I was PG.Your children haver to come first.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 06/05/2011 17:05

Giving the OP the benefit of the doubt - I don't think she wants to have the cats put down, but is at her wits end and fers that they'd languish in a cats home only to be pts anyway.

I can see where she's coming from.

However you need to give this more time.

Try everything you can - particularly the multiple litter trays.

The Feliway isn't a pissing-cat repellent so you wouldn't need to second guess every place they might choose to piss in; it's meant to chill them out so in your case might stop the piss because if they're calm they won't feel the need to mark their terriory. I have no idea if it works though.

Also, there are many people who would far prefer an adult cat - they're hardly old, your three. They are rehomable basically.

RunningDay · 06/05/2011 17:07

twooter it's not always just a bit of BO. Some teens can have very unhygienic habits and lack of respect for property (just take a look at some of the current threads). Plus the untold worry...

But I wasn't here to bash teens particularly (I was a trouble-free one myself, not that it was appreciated). I do think it is a fair comparison - like our children, pets do not ask to become part of the household.

Anyway, I think the OP is being very reasonable in her reaction to the outcry on here. I don't want to lay on further guilt. It's a tough situation to be in.

TheOriginalFAB · 06/05/2011 17:07

wotnochocs - Hmm.

No point putting them in a kennel they won't like and it would be cruel.

Original poster
WakeUpRosemary · 06/05/2011 17:08

Thanks, Hester. We used to have five cats so three didn't seem that many to us at first. But they had access to the whole house including bedrooms so there was more room. And no, I didn't have the other two put to sleep. I rehomed one who was being bullied and she's extremely happy now and the other ran away.

I'll try to rehome one of them at least and see if that improves matters. I've locked them out for a while to wash the floors and they're knocking to get back in. I'll be off the thread for a while.

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 06/05/2011 17:11

One ran off and the other was bullied - they were (and still are) overcrowded!

Maybe one of the three you still have is particularly antagonistic and is winding up the others.

SmethwickBelle · 06/05/2011 17:11

If they are rehomed in a house without children (and possibly separately if they've always stressed each other out) then the spraying may stop, it is a territorial thing, there is no reason to believe that they can't be happy somewhere else. Rehome them!

Isntitironic · 06/05/2011 17:11

Don't be too quick to assume they couldn't be rehomed, OP. There are many people out there, myself included, who will gladly take on cats with such problems, whether or not there's a reasonable chance of overcoming it. You might not have come across any in your experience, but I promise you we're out there! I believe even animals with inappropriate behaviours deserve to be loved and well cared-for, and I didn't hesitate to take on a cat with weeing problems. I wouldn't trade the years I had with her for the world, and it just breaks my heart to think that someone would have had her PTS because they found her inconvenient.

Oh, and in case anyone wants to know, yes, I'm one of those people who calls my cat my 'baby', yes, I'm a vegetarian, and no, I don't eat meat. :P

LadyBeagleEyes · 06/05/2011 17:13

I also think it could be territorial.
Couldn't you rehome one to somewhere without any other pets? You might find the other one stops pissing then as there's no other cat smells to compete with.

issey6cats · 06/05/2011 17:16

Op i work at a rescue centre for cats and not everyone wants a cute little kitten some people want an older cat and six is not an old cat by any means , it sounds like your two are spraying through stress and possibly now there are 3 cats and your ds they are territory marking,
i would seriously suggest putting them on waiting lists for local rescue centers it may take a few months to get them in (ours is four months and 400 cats at the moment) and suggest that they get rehomed as seperate cats a good rescue will be sympathetic to your plight we dont judge anyone for why they want a cat rehomed,
and a lot of ours is reasons like moving to rented home cant take cats, allergies, going into resdidential accomadation, stray cats, left behind by former owners ,
one suggestion for getting rid of them peeing is to fill up a spray bottle with water washing up liquid and lemon juice and when you clean up what they have done the solution leaves behind a strong lemon smell which cats dont like and it reduces where they will pee, i have 6 cats and at night i put down pillows for four of them in the bathroom as its an easy place to clean if they do have an accident. and i always keep my bedroom doors shut at all times they are not allowed in the bedrooms

RumourOfAHurricane · 06/05/2011 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn