To be annoyed Grandparents cut DS's hair?

[DoesBuggerAll]

Grandparents looked after DS today. When they dropped him back home we saw that they had taken him to the barber. He had such a lovely mop of blond hair and now he has a short back and sides. We were furious but bit our tongues. I think it's totally out of order to do such a thing, especially as DS has never had his hair cut yet (he's just turned 2). What do you all think?

OMG this happened to me! I left my youngest who was 5 at the time at his nans for the weekend, and when I went to get him on the Sunday they had shaved all his hair off and he had a crew cut, I went ape shit! It was far too short!

I think they took the piss and they had no right.

I wouldn't have stayed quiet at all, I would have let them know exactly what I thought
Cheeky fuckers, how dare they
YANBU

YANBU - you are the parent and it is your choice when he has his hair cut. I could maybe forgive them trimming his fringe if it was really getting in his eyes but no excuse for taking him to the barbers.

Why did you bite your tongue? You could have out you annoyance to them in a polite way to ensure they don't do anything similar in the future.

Why did you bite your tounge? Maybe I am being pfb (don't think so but I'm never sure on here!) but I would be absolutely furious. It isn't their place.

Your parents or ILs?
Have they said anything about his hair before?
Did they tell you as if you'd be happy?

I honestly think this is outragous so YADNBU in my eyes.

YANBU. I would be furious, but try to bite tongue and cheerily drop into conversatioon at a later date i'd prefer if they didn't do it again. I suppose grandparents have a very different idea of how short a boy's hair should be, but i'm amazed they'd go and do something so drastic!

I would go ballistic. Why did you bite your tongues?? Not only did they take him for a haircut, but his FIRST haircut, and without your permission.

I would be gutted if my DS's GPs had done this - he too had a mop of blonde curls and I cut a few off to keep before I had his hair cut for the first time. I think taking your child for their first haircut is a rite of passage and I'd be furious if it had been taken away from me.

What on earth did you say when you picked him up? You can't have just pretended it hadn't happened, surely?

Fabbychic - a crewcut...OMG. How on earth did they explain that?

YANBU. I would be furious. What does your dh say? was it his parents?

wasn't cutting someone's hair defined as assault because your hair is part of your body?

Why did you bite your tongues? they changed your childs appearence without your permission and as you haven't told them they shouldn't have they still think it's ok for them to have done it so will think nothing of doing it again. Get them told you can't change the past but you can make sure people don't make the same mistake again.

How dare they? That is awful and disrespectful on so many levels. I think you have to say something to them (or your DP does if it's your PIL)

MIL (with a history of deliberately going against my wishes and deliberately snubbing my opinions on parenting, and who had been told many times before that we and HE liked his hair the way it was whenever she complained about the length) did this to my DS too. Totally understand why you were livid, it's unacceptable. YADNBU.

Reminds me of when I went to my nans and came back with my ears pierced aged 5, I thought my mum was going to pierce their ears when she saw me without the gun !

YADNBU.

My MIL did this to DD1 when we were growing out her fringe. she cut it herself. Took 6 months to grow out and to quote my FIL "I could have done better with the bull shears"

I would be fuming

I would go mad; I definitely wouldn't be able to bite my tongue. Did they think it would be a nice surprise or something? Are they usually a bit looney? I would creep up behind MIL (assuming it's MIL ) with the scissors and chop a big lump of her hair off as a nice surprise in return!

YANBU. What reason did they give for doing this? If they did it because they thought they were doing you a favour by, for example, saving you a job then more forgiveable than if they were making a statement about long moppy hair on a boy based on gender stereotypes. The latter would upset me far more.

Either way, I think you do need to say something so that they know not to do it again.

Oh dear, I too would be absolutely fuming.

Inital reaction is why did you not say anything, however I think you were best not too, however I think you should say something and use this time to think of what you want to say and how to do so.

This happened in my family but there wasn't much cut off. Needless to say parents in question were not happy and told grandparents in no uncertain terms to butt out! As if you cut the hair of someone else's child! It's so not on. They could have asked you about it first just in case you hadn't had time to take him or something but the likelihood is they knew you'd say no so did it anyway.

*forgivable

My (now ex) H wouldn't allow me to say anything as his mother was never allowed to be upset.

GRRRRR

YANBU. Cheeky fuckers. Wasn't their place to cut your DS's hair. I'd have been fuming. Why didn't you say anything then and there if you're so unhappy? You could have said it firmly and politely and made your feelings clear- don't ever do that again.

YANBU my mother cut a fringe into DDs hair. i was furious. I was traumatised by my childhood fringe cut by my mother and swore DD would not have a fringe until she was old enough to decide herself if she wanted one and then it would be done by a professional. it was god awful and wonky. DH picked her up and my mother got a very angry phone call.

YADDDNBU - MIL did the same thing when she had DS, but not even properly! Just the fringe, and completely skew. What made it worse is that I wasn't there, but DH was and he didn't stop her!!