To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

[Cat98]

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

It is shit parenting though gemsy. As a parent you need to be leading by example. You need to keep your children safe and not bloody hurt them to try and get your point across.

No Gemsy, it makes you feel like a fool because you know I am right.

Gemsy, interesting that you mention "choice"....not sure many children would choose to be assaulted....

And in reference to "groundhog day" in relation to domestic violence, it is for this reason that I left.

If I hit any of my children they would be so hurt and heartbroken. It makes me sick to think about it. I am the person who is there to protect them. Not hurt them!

Gemsy You're doing really well. Totally agree with you.

IME the kids who are given the odd smack are lovely, sweet, caring, compassionate human beings. The ones who aren't think they're the centre of the universe are the ones who grow up to be the bullies.

The anti-smacking brigade can't seem to distinguish between a little smack and violence - no grey areas for them - everything's black or white.

"I was hit as child and no man would ever dare hit me, If he did it would be the last thing he ever did."

Because you have learned that if someone does something you dislike you resort to violence. and yet you intend to pass this legacy on to your children.

Forget about children. I want to be able to smack grown ups. Every time somebody cuts me up in the car I should be allowed to smack them. Every time a shop assistant asks me if I want a bag after I've bought 50 items I should be allowed to smack them. Every time a customer says something stupid to me, smacky time!

I am 36, not that it matters.

Great point about choice K999. Sadly Gemsy's and sickoftheholidays kids don't have a choice about whether they are assaulted or not. They are too small to defend themselves.

"I was hit as child and no man would ever dare hit me, If he did it would be the last thing he ever did."

Because you have learned that if someone does something you dislike you resort to violence. and yet you intend to pass this legacy on to your children

Well said Mamazon.

GORGEOUSX

The anti-smacking brigade can't seem to distinguish between a little smack and violence - no grey areas for them - everything's black or white.

Good post. You are 100% correct, we can't.

My child has never been assaulted- if you believe that next time you see a child getting a smacked bum for playing up phone the police to report and assault and see what happens....

glitterballmama Tue 03-May-11 21:54:46
And Gemsy, did you bother to read that link I posted? Here's another one on children's views on smacking. Yes, from 1998. But I can't imagine that children's views on being hit have changed a great deal in just over a decade.

www.endcorporalpunishment.org/pages/research/children/uk.html

I just read it and I feel really bad, guilty and just horrible.

I pray he doesn't remember.

My son can be trying but he's just a child. Even though it's completely a last resort when I'm at the end of my tethers, I should know better.

Time out, naughty chair, talking about why what he's done is bad - is equally effective. And I get a big hug and kisses when his time out is over.

Truly, smacking is pointless.

*an assault

hell Osama, I didnt enjoy hitting my kids, I bloody hate it. Why would I enjoy hurting my kids? At the same time as hating it, in rather the same way as I cringed when I had them vaccinated as babies, I knew that however unpleasant, it was the right option for me as a parent, and my child, in the circumstances I was in at that time. That is for me to judge, not anyone else on this thread.

from what i can make out, in amongst the bitching and mud slinging there have been geuine arguments against the use of physical chastisement (seeing as some dislike the perfectly factual term of assault)

and every argument for the use of "smacking" has been discredited many times over. The only offerings seem to be the parents right to assault their child and that a child is not an equal being.

how terribly sad

I am 27 gemsy, same age as you if your username is your year of birth. And yes in my opinion, smacking your kids is shit parenting. As is screaming in their faces, swearing at them and other intimidating, nasty behaviours.

Yes they need disciplined, and yes we all lose our tempers sometimes. but accept that when you lose your temper you are in the wrong. And that there are more sensible, effective and kind ways of disciplining.