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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On a scale of "no biggie" to "really annoyed" how would you react to your SIL forgetting your dc's birthday?

84 replies

Escallonia · 30/04/2011 19:40

It is ds's birthday this weekend (he's turned 4). It is pretty clear that SIL has forgotten to send a card or a present. We are not meeting up in the near future so can't be holding on to it. There are no extenuating circumstances such as new baby, new job, house move etc. She hasn't rung to say Happy Birthday.

I know it can be tricky with all the bank holidays to get something in the post, but all other aunties / uncles, godparents, grandparents and even a few of my friends have sent a card and perhaps even a present in time.

However ds hasn't noticed and obviously has plenty of cards, presents and fuss. So I can't work out how annoyed to be about it! Some of me feels pretty sad and cross that she hasn't remembered her DNephew's bday. Part of me thinks it doesn't really matter, and it's just a bit crap of her but I shouldn't say anything or get wound up by it.

How would you respond?

OP posts:
carabos · 30/04/2011 19:42

No biggie - sorry!

Southcoastsarah · 30/04/2011 19:42

no biggie, its not compulsory to send presents/cards

if you get wound up, the only one who suffers is you :)

feedthegoat · 30/04/2011 19:42

I'd think she was abit rubbish but not sure I could be bothered to get worked up about it. So I'll go for the middle ground!

Tortington · 30/04/2011 19:42

can i ask - is she married to your brother?

FolornHope · 30/04/2011 19:42

interested but not annoyed

IreneHeron · 30/04/2011 19:42

I wouldn't even notice tbh.

CelebratedMonkey · 30/04/2011 19:43

If she's genuinely forgotten (sometimes important dates just slip me by even without extenuating circumstances) then I would not be hugely annoyed. I'd probably mention it casually on the next meeting though.

usualsuspect · 30/04/2011 19:43

No biggie

breathing · 30/04/2011 19:44

Mine wouldnt have a clue when my dc bdays are

nethunsreject · 30/04/2011 19:44

I'd think it a bit odd, but tbh it wouldn't bother me much. But then, we are not close.

ragged · 30/04/2011 19:44

No biggie.

worraliberty · 30/04/2011 19:44

No biggie at all!

albania · 30/04/2011 19:44

I wouldn't notice either, heck - I have to keep all my DNs birthdays written down, it's not uncommon for me to forget until 2 or 3 days before the actual birthday, and on a bank holiday the post will take at least that long.

olibeansmummy · 30/04/2011 19:45

I forgot/ didn't know it was dh's sisters childrens birthday last year and if course dh didn't think. I felt awful :( she may have genuinely forgotten! If you're both on fb put something about what a nice day he's had and thanks for the cards and presents and she might think about it!

Tortington · 30/04/2011 19:45

just wondering why its sils fault and not brothers fault - is shes married to your brother.

she could of course be married to your bil - in which case the same applies

or she could be a widow - in which case - i wouldn't get too worked up tbh

Seona1973 · 30/04/2011 19:45

I'd be more pissed off with my brother (i.s SIL's other half) - why get huffy with SIL rather than him?

2BoysTooLoud · 30/04/2011 19:45

I'm with custardo.. What about your brother?!

pickyourbrain · 30/04/2011 19:45

Not bothered. If she is still with your borther then really it was him who forgot (slightly worse but still only registering about a 2) if she is no longer with your brother then it's even less of anything to be bothered about as technically she's not really obliged.

Dont sweat it.

worraliberty · 30/04/2011 19:46

She could be the OP's DH's sister though

PeachyPossum · 30/04/2011 19:46

I would think that she was busy and it had slipped her mind - my child not being the most immediate concern to her as he is to me. Seriously, get over it, not everyone is as good at being organised and it wont hurt him to have a birthday treat delayed.

What does she have going on in her life right now? Does she have a load of stuff going on that might have distracted her? I bet she will be mortified when she realises.

birdsofshoreandsea · 30/04/2011 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington · 30/04/2011 19:47

oooh yes if the ops dh's sister - i would be ver annoyed and shoot her

TheCrackFox · 30/04/2011 19:48

Is this your husband's sister or your brother's wife?

Wouldn't bother me but I have 12 nephews and nieces and we all have problems keeping up with everything.

Original poster
Escallonia · 30/04/2011 19:48

no no she is DH's sister.

It's not the lack of material outlay, it's the forgetting that I'm on edge about, hasn't happened before. DS loves her and his cousins and uncle and we are usually quite close.

Like I say I'm not really sure how to respond so happy to be led by a majority verdict on this. There are worse things in life clearly.

OP posts:
2BoysTooLoud · 30/04/2011 19:48

my nieces have got pressies late [after my mum reminded me Blush ].
Nobody openly crucified me though.

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