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AIBU?

DH has his judgey pants on and wants to know if HIBU!

100 replies

Bogeyface · 25/04/2011 23:28

He manages a bar/leisure outlet and he saw a man and his heavily pregnant wife go to order drinks. The man ordered a pint of lager and a single Jack Daniels chaser. DH didnt think much of it until the man asked the woman what she wanted and she said something DH didnt hear and the man said "And another JD, make it a double with a bit of coke"

He was a bit about it but knows the rules on drinking in PG and figured that one isnt ideal but not the end of the world. By the time he came home they were on their second round. I am 36 weeks pg btw.

He is digsusted and after being told by me that he would be called Judgey pants on here he wants your opinions on whether he is justified in pulling them up so high he gets a wedgie or whether he should mind his own business!

Personally I think he is NBU but then I would wouldnt I? :o

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PigletJohn · 26/04/2011 13:18

let she who is without pants cast the first stone.

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otchayaniye · 26/04/2011 13:44

There aren't any rules about alcohol and breastfeeding. There are guidelines which err WELL on the safe side. And yes, we'd do well

Some people drink and breastfeed and think there's a 'rule' about that too. Considering I'm still breastfeeding 2-1/2 years on and am a fan of wine I'd have lost the plot (I'm pregnant now so only have the occasional small glass) if I couldn't have drunk a glass or three in that time.

I had a small glass of wine with a male colleague when I was pregnant with my first who absolutely laid into me about 'just one glass can cause abnormalities, how can you sit there and drink it'.

Didn't tell him I was riding a sportsbike in flip flops and a tshirt (Singapore) until 5 months pregnant.

I began to judge myself then and sold it!

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otchayaniye · 26/04/2011 13:44

There aren't any rules about alcohol and pregnancy and breastfeeding, I meant.

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otchayaniye · 26/04/2011 13:47

Some people don't drink and breastfeed

Having a bad day today

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NinkyNonker · 26/04/2011 13:56

So little alcohol gets into bm you'd have to be truly plastered before it had a sedative effect.

I had the odd inch or so of wine in late pregnancy, on the quiet as I was cat's bummed by so many people, and dd is 8 mo now...but those little symbols on alcohol bottles bug the hell out of me! So patronising.

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holyShmoley · 26/04/2011 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 26/04/2011 15:05

Frakking hell, if I had a JD & coke right now (34 weeks), DH would have to carry me out of the bar as I'd be asleep

But sorry I think your DH was being a bit judgy, Bogeyface. It might be the first time she has had a drink in ages!

I do treat myself to a very small glass of Bailey's some weeks. It is constant binge drinking which can endanger the baby and there is no evidence this is what this lady is doing!

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Insomnia11 · 26/04/2011 15:11

I thought you weren't supposed to drink spirits at all when pregnant, so I would be more than if she'd ordered a glass of wine. I certainly had the odd drink when pregnant though and just drank normally when breastfeeding, though I'm not a heavy drinker. I used to express some milk though if I was going on a night out and give DD1/DD2 a bottle feed with expressed milk until the alcohol had gone through my system.

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VajazzHands · 26/04/2011 15:16

God forbid anyone put their judgey pants on in the magical world of mumsnet... where no one judges unless they are judging a judger... and when judging a judger... oh wow do they judge

Your dh is NBU

A small glass of wine is not the same as a double jd and coke ffs

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TheMonster · 26/04/2011 15:18

I would have judged too.

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ruddynorah · 26/04/2011 15:21

Eugh. When I flew to Morocco at 13wks pregnant several colleagues asked if I was 'allowed'. We went for a meal when I was about 8months pregnant and I asked for prawns at this tapas place. Waiter helpfully told me prawns are shellfish and you can't eat them when you're pregnant. I enjoyed all 8 of the big fat juicy blighters.

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otchayaniye · 26/04/2011 16:26

"I thought you weren't supposed to drink spirits at all when pregnant"

Why? Alcohol is alcohol whether wine, beer or spirits.

"A small glass of wine is not the same as a double jd and coke ffs"

A small glass of wine (and I mean a small glass) = 1.5 units

A pub double measure of jack daniels = 2 units

This is probably why the guidelines are there. People don't know their units.

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Bogeyface · 26/04/2011 18:11

Thinking about it logically though....

1 pint of lager =2 units
1 large JD = 2 units

But, the alcohol is more highly concentrated in the spirit and takes alot less time to drink so (from the POV of the baby) if you have a pint it is getting a bit of alcohol in its system at a time over a longer period whereas the spirit will be a large hit of alcohol in a much shorter period. Surely that cant be good can it?

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LaWeasel · 26/04/2011 18:28

Time taken to consume makes no difference at all, unless you are talking about huge amounts and hugely different time scales, ie 1 unit a day and two on sunday to make 8 units a week is going to have no impact at all. Whereas 8 units in one night is binge drinking and difficult for your body to process so as NICE states, not a great idea in pregnancy.

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ragged · 26/04/2011 18:28

It's perfectly possible that the bloke had the first Jack Daniels and she just had a sip, then wanted her own with him still wanting to share. It's also possible she needs to drink 4 units to even feel it. I really dunno. I'd raise an eyebrow but not think much more about it unless she was obviously blotto.

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LaWeasel · 26/04/2011 18:29

but to compare a lager and a double shot of spirits both drunk at the same time - no difference in impact.

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GotArt · 26/04/2011 18:37

VajazzHands I would love to see your ' where no one judges...' written in Latin.

I've been judged for all sorts this pregnancy; I eat all the cheeses and salamis I can get my hands on, runny eggs, coffee, including espresso, roasted bone marrow, shellfish, peanut butter, good grief, its been a no hold's bar over here. The biggest judgy thing was that I was still running at 5 months at the gym on the treadmill; never had so many women come over to me to tell me the damage I was doing to my baby and that the baby would never turn. I was thinking of getting a t-shirt with something written on the back telling people to piss off... well, something more clever than that; baby brain and all.

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CurrySpice · 26/04/2011 18:40

I was drinking half a lager at a football match when 8+ months pregnant with dd1 and a bloke marched up to me and shouted at me fir drinking while pregnant! I was speechless. Which is unusual for me!!

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otchayaniye · 26/04/2011 20:43

Unless you live in the bar in Deadwood I'd imagine most non-dypsomaniacs could manage to make a spirits + mixer match a pint in time.

So doesn't matter if it's 80 proof rum or a shandy, it's the units that count and not having shedloads in one short space of time that matters.

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otchayaniye · 26/04/2011 20:47

I must say it was really nice being pregnant with child number one in Singapore. My ob/gyn just said: "no drugs" (funny thing to say seeing as drugs are about as hard to get there as hen's teeth) and I blithely went about my business riding a sportsbike, necking prawns/sashimi, French cheeses at all the Sunday hotel brunches, peanuts in abundance etc rounding it all off with the odd glass or two of champagne.

Come here and it seems the message about risks has been skewed a great deal.

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GotArt · 26/04/2011 20:58

Sushi... eating that here too.

Skewed a great deal indeed. Here in Canada, I'm not suppose to be drinking, consuming or smelling peppermint, but its the country that says that.

What's in processed food is found to be more harmful for human consumption then the odd alcoholic beverage. Refined white sugar has just been directly linked to Alzheimer's.

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cardibach · 26/04/2011 20:58

I'm old and haven't been pregnant for 15 years, but my midwife actually advised the odd whisky in the last few weeks to aid sleep. SHe said it would do more good than harm!

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TastesLikePanda · 26/04/2011 21:07

GotArt - Smelling peppermint ? What harm does that do? [cconfused]

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otchayaniye · 26/04/2011 21:12

Oh, I did forget one annoying thing about Singapore, the colleagues who told me I couldn't and shouldn't eat 'heaty' foods, such as jackfruit.

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Rebecca41 · 26/04/2011 21:19

I'm with your DH on this one. I know it's each to their own and all that bla bla bla, but having gone through lots of IVF to have my kids I get irritated with people who have a cavalier attitude to their pregnancy.

People will argue that alcohol in moderation has not been proven to harm foetuses, but no-one knows for sure. What we do know is that it gets into the blood stream and crosses the placenta, so gets into the foetus. Not a risk I was prepared to take in my pregnancies, and one I find distressing to see others taking.

And I've seen enough foetal alcohol syndrome in my work to know it's a good thing to avoid!

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