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DH has his judgey pants on and wants to know if HIBU!

100 replies

Bogeyface · 25/04/2011 23:28

He manages a bar/leisure outlet and he saw a man and his heavily pregnant wife go to order drinks. The man ordered a pint of lager and a single Jack Daniels chaser. DH didnt think much of it until the man asked the woman what she wanted and she said something DH didnt hear and the man said "And another JD, make it a double with a bit of coke"

He was a bit Hmm about it but knows the rules on drinking in PG and figured that one isnt ideal but not the end of the world. By the time he came home they were on their second round. I am 36 weeks pg btw.

He is digsusted and after being told by me that he would be called Judgey pants on here he wants your opinions on whether he is justified in pulling them up so high he gets a wedgie or whether he should mind his own business!

Personally I think he is NBU but then I would wouldnt I? :o

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 26/04/2011 00:11

I know Lost, my mum has it very badly I was trying (and failing) to be tongue in cheek, but yes he says she was pg.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 26/04/2011 00:15

I like it that he'd rather canvas the opinions of the MN vipers than face the wrath of a pregnant woman by questioning her Grin

LostInSockLand · 26/04/2011 00:15

ah ok, was just trying to think of other possibilities Smile

Bogeyface · 26/04/2011 00:17

Zigzag, I think I can safely say he is regretting it now :o

OP posts:
ChunkyPickle · 26/04/2011 00:20

I hate this everyone knowing better than you and judging you for what you eat/drink/do when pregnant.

Do I judge when I see people eating bagged salad? When I see them exercising in the first 18 weeks? How about driving for an unnecessary trip? Or any others of a host of things proven to increase the risk of miscarriage/increase risk of disease/whatever else? No. Because I've been pregnant, I know it's hard enough as it is (and I had it easy) without overblowing the miniscule risks in play.

Your husband is over-reacting to something which numerous studies have shown is perfectly safe.

AgentZigzag · 26/04/2011 00:25

I've sometimes had judgy thoughts when I've seen pregnant women saying they still horseride, so most people are guilty of it at some point.

But then think it's nowt to do with me really.

AlmightyCitrus · 26/04/2011 00:26

There was a link on a thread ages ago that was a "voice of reason" with regard to things like food/alcohol in pregnancy.
For alcohol it was something along the lines of 10 units of alcohol, drunk over the length of a week (or about 2 units a day) would probably not even register in the system of the baby, however far along the pregnancy was.

Personally I think the "no drinking" guidelines there because a lot of people can't work out how much a unit of alcohol is, so the "better safe than sorry" approach is taken.

I'm of the opinion that a couple of drinks won't harm me or the baby. Getting pissed won't do anyone any favours.

PigletJohn · 26/04/2011 00:32

All he did was form an opinion.

He didn't chastise the woman, refuse to serve her, or throw her out of his bar (as a personal licence holder and DPS or deputy, he is entitled and obliged to do that under certain other circumstances)

Nothing unreasonable about having an opinion.

thumbbunny · 26/04/2011 00:33

weeeellllll - he probably IBU for judging, but then I would have too! And I did have a wine spritzer most nights with dinner when I was late pg. But that's not 4 shots of spirit. At least she wasn't smoking too. THAT would really make me hoik my judgeypants right up to my boobs.

AgentZigzag · 26/04/2011 00:37

That's what pisses me off about some guidelines almighty (I'm not introducing it into the thread, but I found the same with forumula milk).

You know they're going down the 'better safe than sorry' blanket coverage route, which wouldn't stop a person from getting pissed out of their head if they thought like that anyway, and doesn't give the people who need guidance on the subject that fantastic 'voice of reason'.

I couldn't tell you what was considered 'safe' drinking limits before this none at all level came in, how's that informative and helpful to someone who has decided to have a drink?

They're left with no overall information at all.

AgentZigzag · 26/04/2011 00:39

Yeah but piglet, the man pulled up his judgy pants

SpeedyGonzalez · 26/04/2011 00:39

Is drinking whisky in pregnancy considered "safe"? Seriously? 40% proof whisky? Shock

Assuming the woman concerned was pregnant, I think the OP's DH's judgy pants are perfectly placed. And anyone who pretends not to judge others at some point in their lives is only lying so that they can judge others for being openly judgy. Grin

SpeedyGonzalez · 26/04/2011 00:41

Thumbbunnyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!! Grin

thumbbunny · 26/04/2011 00:54

Speeeeeeeeedddyyyyy!!! you're up late again - baba giving you bother? [busmile]

DBennett · 26/04/2011 00:57


I always felt that the guidelines were pretty clear...

NICE?s actual wording (from NHS website) is as follows:

Pregnant women and women planning a pregnancy should be advised to avoid drinking alcohol in the first three months of pregnancy if possible because it may be associated with an increased risk of miscarriage.

If women choose to drink alcohol during pregnancy they should be advised to drink no more than one to two UK units once or twice a week (one unit equals half a pint of ordinary strength lager or beer, or one shot [25 ml] of spirits. One small [125 ml] glass of wine is equal to 1.5 UK units). Although there is uncertainty regarding a safe level of alcohol consumption in pregnancy, at this low level there is no evidence of harm to the unborn baby.

Women should be informed that getting drunk or binge drinking during pregnancy (defined as more than five standard drinks or 7.5 UK units on a single occasion) may be harmful to the unborn baby.

GotArt · 26/04/2011 01:23

Mr. Judgey pants for sure. lol Grin

There was a recent episode on Dr. Oz about another show called 'What Would You Do?', and its being hailed as the ultimate reality show.. I digress. Anyhow, they staged a very pregnant woman at the bar and had her consume a few gin on the rocks and martini's and make comments about being pregnant, etc, to see how people would react. Hardly anyone said a thing to her because there is an unspoken rule about women's bodies are their domain. Which I agree, to an extent. This woman was 'consuming' lots, (not really, as it was for a show) drink after drink, and although I enjoy a pint or couple of glasses of wine throughout my pregnancy, (36 weeks myself) I would have said something. As someone who has worked in the service industry for 20 years, I would have also stopped serving her, as is my right as a server in Canada.

The woman in the OP doesn't sound like she was getting hammered and do we know for sure that the 'second' round was alcoholic too. The funny thing about the show is they had an expert on the show who was a part of a 20+ year study that showed that a having up to three units of alcohol a week during the second and third trimester showed no adverse affects except in woman who had a tendency towards alcoholism because 3 becomes 4 becomes 5...

MadamDeathstare · 26/04/2011 03:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenguinArmy · 26/04/2011 03:43

you see now I really want a drink but we have no coke in

PenguinArmy · 26/04/2011 03:44

I don't judge on the first one, but start to get a bit Hmm when they're necking more back

GotArt · 26/04/2011 05:51

Madam Really? Wow! Grin

NinkyNonker · 26/04/2011 09:20

Yanbu, or should that be HINBU?! I will fully admit to being a judgy pants wearer.

MoChan · 26/04/2011 11:31

I was informed by someone whose opinion I trust (highly regarded, high up sciencey/biology person) that by the time you are very heavily pregnant, a bit of booze does no harm whatsoever. I wouldn't drink heavily at that stage, though. I would probably have been a bit taken aback by it, I suppose, but I did have a few glasses of wine in the last few weeks of pregnancy.

LaWeasel · 26/04/2011 12:08

That's interesting DBennet - I don't recall that being there when I was PG with DD a few years back. Although I'd read a few bits of research and came to similar conclusions.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 26/04/2011 12:55

Rules? YABU on that score alone.

The new pictures of a pregnant outline with a line through it on alcohol products actually enrages me. How fucking dare they? Angry

MadamDeathstare · 26/04/2011 13:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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