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AIBU?

to want to move to a smaller house, even if it means 2 of my dc have to share a room ?

128 replies

TheOriginalNutcracker · 25/04/2011 17:41

Am i ?? Dd1 thinks I am.

Basically, I live in a 4 bed house owned by a housing association. It is in a nice enough area and the house is huge as is the garden, but I struggle alot with the upkeep of it as something always needs doing.

I'm a single mum, and I work 22 hours a week and so never seem to have the time or money to make the house anything other than livable.

I have today been to see a 3 bed house that is up for exchange. It is on a newer, nicer estate than mine, and would need less upkeep as it has upvc frames, smaller garden, rooms etc, but my eldest dd is creating havoc, saying she will not share a room with his sister. There is only 2 years age difference between them, but they are quite different in character.

I have already said that they can have the larger of the double rooms and I will make sure it is done out in a style they both like, but dd1 in particular is having non of it.

I think it would be good for us though. We originally moved into this house with xp, and he now lives in a flat within spitting distance and likes to know my business. This would put just enough distance between us that the kids could still see him when they liked, but that he wasn't on my doorstep.

So, aibu ??

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TheOriginalNutcracker · 08/05/2011 19:02

I'm a 32yr old single mum, who except for work/school time, is with my dc 24/7 as their dad is an idiot and so they rarely see him.

I think I've earnt getting my own room tbh, and when my dc are older, and working etc they can have their own rooms.

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FattyAcid · 08/05/2011 19:23

I think you should go for the move, nutty
A new start in a new house will be really good for you mentally
A nicer area makes a big difference to your life
If you are working 22 hours I think that as a mother of 3 and a single parent it doesn't give you a lot of time for housework/gardening - particularly if the 4 bed is one of those houses that takes a long time to clean and still never really looks very good.
Having lower bills and a warm house can only be good.
Sharing a room may well bring your dds closer to each other. Go for it

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expatinscotland · 08/05/2011 20:01

Especially now your DD1 is all for it.

Some of us have been here long enough to see how far nutty has come, she's definitely in need of and deserving of a fresh start!

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TheOriginalNutcracker · 08/05/2011 21:15

Aww thank's expat

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TheOriginalNutcracker · 08/05/2011 21:15

Thank's also fattyacid

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colditz · 08/05/2011 21:21

You will be fine. I'm pleased it turned out the way you like.

PS - get those kids doing more in the house. Withdraw puddings until chores start getting done.

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Hulababy · 08/05/2011 21:32

Hope the move proves to be a good one for you al and glad to hear DD1 has come round.

FWIW I shared with a much younger sister (10 years my junior) from being 10y til I left home for university. It wasn't ideal at tiems I guess but it was fine overall. We coped, we had our own sides of the room, our own things and we managed fine.

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Yellowstone · 08/05/2011 22:56

New house, fresh start is a good in itself. It all sounds good. Mine have all just said they really don't mind the sharing. Little houses can be nice, just be ruthless with the clutter!

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coppertop · 08/05/2011 23:01

Best of luck with the move, Nutty. It sounds like it could be a great fresh start for all of you. :)

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funkybuddah · 08/05/2011 23:05

If it makes your life easier and happy (being away from ex) then do it.
My sister lives in a small 2 bed flat, my nieces are 13 and 16 and have to put up with it, its not all bad apart from their mes s lol.

Where has this idea come from about having to have own rooms? Me and my 2 disasters shared a room forever and they are 8 and 9 years older than me. Not ideal but we got on. My god daughters are 14 and 8 and will have to share a rom until their 16 year old brother moves out.

So um yeah, not unreasonable, not unusual at all

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funkybuddah · 08/05/2011 23:06

Ok I should have read the wholethread or at least the last page lol

Good luck

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EllenJaneisnotmyname · 08/05/2011 23:19

That's great news. Hope it all goes smoothly, Nutty.

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tiredemma · 09/05/2011 17:50

thats great news nutty. are the kids staying at their schools or will they move aswell?

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TheOriginalNutcracker · 09/05/2011 21:44

The kids will stay at their schools emma as the new house is more or less the same distance away, just in the opposite direction.

I can't wait tbh, it will be so nice to not have xp and others spying on me, and just knowing that the house we move to needs more or less nothing doing to it makes me feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

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Yellowstone · 09/05/2011 22:10

Nutty that weight lifting feeling is nice.

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CarGirl · 09/05/2011 22:48

I am so thrilled for you, I'm sure the dc will pick up on you feeling much more positive as well as being financially more comfortable amd living somewhere that's finished.

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GloriaSmut · 09/05/2011 22:55

That's really good news, Nutty. Have a wonderful move and many happy times in your new home.

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tiredemma · 10/05/2011 07:53

hmmmm (so your new house must be a little bit near me now/?????)

Great news, really pleased for you

New start, new you!!!

and get away from that idiot who is trying to drag you down.

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TheOriginalNutcracker · 10/05/2011 21:11

Thank's all

It is heading in your direction emma yeh, it's an estate off rectory rd.

I took the dc and my mum to see the house tonight and they all absolutly love it and can't wait to move now.

Hopefully the move will be happening middle to end of june

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tiredemma · 10/05/2011 21:15

exciting!!

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TheOriginalNutcracker · 10/05/2011 21:18

It is !! Especially the fact that there is room for a dishwasher lol. My kitchen is larger than theirs, but the way it is laid out, fitting a dishwasher would always have been a big pain, but in this house it will be fine.

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CarGirl · 10/05/2011 21:19

so happy happy happy for you

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sparkle1977 · 10/05/2011 21:25

Agree with those that say you are in charge OP and what you say goes, end of story.

I shared a room with my younger sister (2 year age diff) until I was about 18 and loved it, as did she.

Its nonsense that children should be "entitled" to their own room.

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Aimsmum · 10/05/2011 21:28

Really pleased for you, sounds like everything is working out well

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expatinscotland · 10/05/2011 21:47

Nutty, you sound so positive and happy. I'm so pleased for you and hope it works out. You've come so far, things can only get better for you :).

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