To be gobby to pervs at the gym/in general?

[Spenguin]

So, I lugged myself out to the gym this afternoon (partially because of the air-conditioning, don't get me wrong!) and was happily plodding away on the treadmill when the usual started... men, without shame, having a good old stare. This isn't a stealth thing - I mean, seriously, I'm sweating like a pig in a hothouse and have arms flailing. Pretty it ain't.

I'm dressed in black - so you'd think the neon bra tops across the room would have been more obvious to them - black t-shirt (short sleeved, non-plunging neckline), black full-length running leggings etc.

I then go to the weights section, wherein I meet my fiance, and started the bullshit leg press machine i.e. sort of lying down at 45 degrees and pushing away from the base in order to lift a weight (?!?!?). Basically, it looks as if I'm in a birthing position and the fanjo is, to a certain sort of person, exposed. the fiance is standing right next to me whilst I do this exercise. This fucking pervert is on another machine about a foot away, directly opposite, and blatantly looking at my groin.

I stop the exercise.

I say 'no, someone's perving! I'm not continuing until he stops'

He continues to look.

I glare back.

He can't see my gaze becausemyvaginadoesn'thaveeyes

I try to recommence.

He still looks.

Fiance is staring at him.

I yell and seethe and holler 'stop looking at my VAGINA!' and storm off.

Proceeded to leave the gym, come home, feel dirty and cry a little.

So, ladies, when people stare and gawp at you (with no shame) what do you do? Was I being "unlady-like" to yell at him? I was pretty quick off the mark. The fiance didn't even get an opportunity to wade on in there! I'm a bit mouthy!

I gawp at the women who don't wear sports bras in the gym. Why oh why would you try and make your boobs saggy.

I wish my gym was open on Easter Sunday, had to eat choc eggs and chase my small people instead.

OP YANBU and yes, you did right to challenge him.

Considering he had to turn his head 90 degrees to stare at the OP he was hardly staring blankly ahead of him.

"still think the fiance should have done it for her though. it made him look weak in the eyes of the other men"

rolls eyes

Yes, being in a relationship with a confident, assertive woman who's prepared to stand up for herself without waiting for a man to protect her makes men look weak. headdesk

so to help that change, you think that women should continue to let their boyfriend/husband/partner challenge men for them? Because YOU said you still think he should have. How will the status quo ever change then?

it's not OK for someone to perv and make you feel uncomfortable, so yes it's fine for you to react

though if it were me, i'd have thought that possibly the man was a bit peculiar, and i'd have spoken to one of the gym staff and asked them to keep an eye out for him rather than start shouting at him - presumably if he's doing it to you he may do it to others as well so it would be a more effective way of dealing with it

having said that, like a couple of other posters, i am slightly surprised at this scenario, as i've been going to various gyms for years and have never been 'perved' at to my knowledge.

next time smile sweetly and say "why don't you just take a photo, it will last longer"