To be gobby to pervs at the gym/in general?

[Spenguin]

So, I lugged myself out to the gym this afternoon (partially because of the air-conditioning, don't get me wrong!) and was happily plodding away on the treadmill when the usual started... men, without shame, having a good old stare. This isn't a stealth thing - I mean, seriously, I'm sweating like a pig in a hothouse and have arms flailing. Pretty it ain't.

I'm dressed in black - so you'd think the neon bra tops across the room would have been more obvious to them - black t-shirt (short sleeved, non-plunging neckline), black full-length running leggings etc.

I then go to the weights section, wherein I meet my fiance, and started the bullshit leg press machine i.e. sort of lying down at 45 degrees and pushing away from the base in order to lift a weight (?!?!?). Basically, it looks as if I'm in a birthing position and the fanjo is, to a certain sort of person, exposed. the fiance is standing right next to me whilst I do this exercise. This fucking pervert is on another machine about a foot away, directly opposite, and blatantly looking at my groin.

I stop the exercise.

I say 'no, someone's perving! I'm not continuing until he stops'

He continues to look.

I glare back.

He can't see my gaze becausemyvaginadoesn'thaveeyes

I try to recommence.

He still looks.

Fiance is staring at him.

I yell and seethe and holler 'stop looking at my VAGINA!' and storm off.

Proceeded to leave the gym, come home, feel dirty and cry a little.

So, ladies, when people stare and gawp at you (with no shame) what do you do? Was I being "unlady-like" to yell at him? I was pretty quick off the mark. The fiance didn't even get an opportunity to wade on in there! I'm a bit mouthy!

But it wasn't just this one, was it OP? You said that the men were perving when you were running and then this man was perving when you were on the weights?

Was there anyone there not perving?

Pixie and Katie - thank you! I was seriously starting to doubt myself based on the other comments here.

I don't consider myself God's gift, but I'm 23 and so stereotypically considered 'game', I suppose??? Not meant to sound vain, but hope you can see what I mean.

Are you sure didn't happen to you?

Maybe he is a gynaecologist

YANBU. Good for you (presuming he was definitely leching that is). If more women responded to that kind of unwanted attention by confronting it in an unavoidable way I think the lechers would think twice.

Why is everybody o keen to disbelieve the OP? She was there, we weren't. It's too close to the usual experience of women who suffer sexual harrassment, ie: disbelief, minimisation, no support. It is possible the OP misinterpreted the situation, also that she didn't.

Dreams - yes, the treadmill I was on is next to a pulley machine that is only really used by men. I heard one say 'it must be Asian night in here' [I have Chinese blood] after standing behind my treadmill as I was running (there are no mirrors nor TVs that he would have been looking at). My fiance also saw him do this. It was another man and not the one in the weights section.

We refer to the men in that gym as 'trogs', so, the calibre does leave something to the imagination.

Like I said, they look at lots of girls. I don't consider myself the belle of the ball.

If I saw some fella leering at me, i wouldnt proceed to get closer and get into a position where I was spreadeagled and one foot away

(I do realise OP was joining her fiance)

How can he be a foot away from your vag if you're on the leg press thing? Wouldn't that be dangerous?

"I was on is next to a pulley machine that is only really used by men"

I was going to say that - he was probably trying to intimidate you out of "male" space.

Once again - prick.

I was on the machine first and then he came over, but thank you for your caveat, breathing

I'm really quite shocked at the hostile response on this. I'm genuinely surprised the accusation of 'she was asking for it' hasn't come out yet.

women who accuse men of staring/perving are always 'told off' for thinking they are gorgeous. It's very sexist. Men who intimidate women in this way don't discriminate and only stare at 'gorgeous' women they stare at women in general or any woman who they feel they can intimidate. I think we should do the OP the courtesy of assuming she knows when someone was making her uncomfortable. Good on you for stating the facts to him so clearly - shame that to some what you said sounds comical. It's how these men get away with it. What it was, was you withdrawing your consent to unwanted attention which we all have the right to do.

YANBU. Theres a difference between a glance and someone staring blatantly at you ie perving at your private parts. Good for you for speaking up for yourself.

Blatant, unashamed staring at another person is offensive. Most human beings know the body language signs for being told to avert their eyes, if they fail to understand them or choose to ignore them then its their fault if they get forcibly told to do so. If he pervs at you, he's fair game for a rude comment telling him not to.

Sounds a bit of a creepy gym actually. But with the recent sunny weather, the pervs have been out in force recently. I was out running yesterday, wearing shorts and a t shirt, middle of the day, ran past a farm building with some men in it, "Look at the arse on that".

Note the "that". Not a person to them at all. An object. I don't bloody well earn my living from working in the porn industry or glamour modelling, so they're fair game for being told to f right off.

Because the image of the OP leaping up and yelling about her vag is far too funny to let pass [bugrin]

I cant believe you are getting the sort of comments you are. No one "wants" to be perved on. It happens to me (im also young , im not that attractive , im ok ish but you know not stunning. I think apparent youth may have something to do with it actually.) and i hate it. I usually pointedly ignore it as it not as bad as what you are getting here, but if it was , yes i would say something.
Its something i really hate , men objectifying women so openly in public. Ugh.
The worst that ever happened to me was a guy of about 45 (im 23) staring at me. He walked over and said to my (male) friend "is she with you ?" My friend is a decent uy so to et rid of him he said that i was. The guy leaned in and in front of me aked "So is it true that -insert hair colour- girls give the best head ?"
Unfortunatly i was too gobsmacked to say anything but my friend just looked and him and said that we were just leaving and put his arm around me and walked me out.
Gross.

Going to attempt a diagram:

XXXXXXXXX
I
I
I
I
M

X = he was seated and facing in the direction the Xs go.
I = my body, lengthways.
M = my head.

So, he's sat where my feet are.

When I'm at rest, he's a foot from my groin.

So, yes, he turned his head 90 degrees right.

I also hate that it is often said the women in question is exaggerating or should be flattered. It is unacceptable and vile. And usually has nothing to do with the woman just the man wanting to make her feel small.

Christ on a bike, these days if someone got close enough to stare at my fanjo while I attempted did a leg press they'd be at risk of being sucked in. That's if the post-childbirth piles and the scars didn't send them running for their lives.

My fiance would have had I not reacted so quickly. Put it this way, he says (of me) - 'most women are pistols; you're a bloody belt-fed machine gun'

Like I said, I've got a bit of a mouth! He'll say things in other events when I'm not aware of another man doing something etc etc.

kerry - ok, not technically vagina, but my crotch/groin/general area etc.

Seriously these men have been watching too much porn, so they think that every female body is there for them to consume if they want to.

You might be interested in this OP - Feminist weight training site