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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fuming and shaking, please hold my hand

149 replies

Saw444 · 24/04/2011 12:47

Will keep it short

Have namechanged as this will get me recognised

Dd (7) was playing with her little friends at the small park next to the house I can't see it from the window but if I walk to the side of the house I can talk to her without shouting it's that close

She ran in with her friend looking frightened a while ago and I asked what wad wrong, turns out that two teenagers had been playing on the bike ramp next to it started talking to the little ones then one of them had pulled down her shorts while the other filmed it

She said her pants "got stuck on her bum" so never came fully down

I ran out the house and seen the boys disappear beyond the park and recognised one of them as the older brother of one of dd,s school mates

He is at least 14

I have been to the door and demanded they get there boy home now and check his mobile, shouted a few things I prob should not have done then came home and dh has called the police who we are waiting on arriving

I am furious, a young child I could understand even though I would still have spoke to the parents but 14!!!!

Dd seems fine, we never made a big deal in front of her, told her she was a good girl for knowing to come in and tell me and she is now watching shrek eating a Easter egg

I don't know what else to do

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 24/04/2011 15:47

oh yes what The OriginalFAB said in spades - don't make it a huge deal fo her xxxx

WineComesInAtTheMouth · 24/04/2011 15:53

Saw444, you did exactly the right thing by calling the police. 14 years olds know exactly what they are doing. This should be treated by the police with the utmost seriousness.

I am pleased your daughter has the kind of relationship with you that she felt she could confide in you. I can't understand why the boy's parents had a 'so what' attitude. They should have marched him straight to the police station themselves. DS or not, that was a hideous thing to do to a 7 year old girl and they must take appropriate action to ensure he is dealt with correctly.

You sound like a lovely mum, I hope you get the support you need from the police in order to deal with this.

Eglu · 24/04/2011 16:00

Saw444 what a horrible thing to happen. I hope the police deal with it.

FannyFifer · 24/04/2011 16:00

Could it not just have been a mean joke?
When in 1st & 2nd year at high school it was quite a common thing to do, de-bagging I think it was called.
Used to have to make sure that our trousers were belted tightly.

gordyslovesheep · 24/04/2011 16:02

sorry but a 14 year old on a 7 year old - and filming it on a mobile - that is not a joke, mean or otherwise, it's assault

NoelEdmondshair · 24/04/2011 16:03

No it wasn't a mean joke. 14 year old lads pulling a 7 year old girl's pants down and filming it was a sexual offence and I hope the little fuckers are cautioned.

Hugs to OP and her little girl.

youngwomanwholivesinashoe · 24/04/2011 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icelollycraving · 24/04/2011 16:33

Hope the police take this seriously along with the parents.
Your little girl sounds like she will be ok,how was her friend?

MsScarlett · 24/04/2011 16:41

Regardless of whether or not the evidence has been deleted, the police will still take it seriously and can do something about it. After all most sexual crimes will have little evidence apart from the testimony of the victim but are still taken seriously. Her friend can back up her story too. I really hope this is dealt with properly and that your dd is ok. x

CherryPie3 · 24/04/2011 16:48

This is truly appalling :(

What on earth possessed him to do something like that Hmm.

Well done on how you handled it {{{hugs}}}

controlpantsandgladrags · 24/04/2011 16:48

your poor DD Sad

I hope the police are helpful. Deleted photos can be retrieved should the police wish to do so.

beesimo · 24/04/2011 18:01

I hope your DD is ok I am pleased she has a Mam she can tell her upsets to.

One thing I haven't mentioned is my shock that the lad did this right next to your house, if that is not a sure sign that he is totally out of control,couldn't care less if he got spotted and fears no consquences I don't know what is.

If he is like that at 14 whats he going to be like at 18??

ledkr · 24/04/2011 18:23

If 2 men did this to a woman it would of course be sexual assault,why should it be different for kids,and the difference between 7 and 14 is highly significant in terms of sexual awareness and knowledge and of knowing right from wrong,i have big sons and little daughters and they wouldnt dream of joking with them in this way,a same age boy pulled dd aged 6 bottoms down in the pool last yr,she was upset for ages,your poor dd,tell her she is a good girl for coming and telling you. They defo need reminding about the register and maybe some intervention from youth crime prevention or suchlike,i hope the parents dont play this down as it will do them no favours.

chickchickchicken · 24/04/2011 18:43

OP - i have had a similar incident occur in my family and rest assured the police will take it very seriously. they told us it would be treated as a sexual assault. btw it wasnt filmed but they still took it seriously so dont worry if mobile has been destroyed/dumped

i dont think it automatically means the boys will become paedophiles but it will be treated as a sexual assault. quite rightly so

it is a shocking thing to happen so dont worry about your reaction. well done to your dd to come in and tell you

GypsyMoth · 24/04/2011 18:45

going through similiar here with dd being filmed without consent,,,it will be taken seriosly

VivaLeBeaver · 24/04/2011 19:04

I hope the police take it seriously. It probably was just meant to be some sort of "happy slapping" thing but the boys need to know how it could be viewed (ie; sexual assualt), how serious it is and how awful and degrading it is. I hope they get a big wake up call and are genuinely sorry.

activate · 24/04/2011 19:07

It's assault

They are beyond the age of criminal responsibility

The police should investigate thoroughly - but it may involve your dd and her friend being questioned (albeit sensitively)

helendigestives · 24/04/2011 19:35

Gods, that is awful. It must have been a terrible shock; I hope you're feeling a little better, OP.

gkys · 24/04/2011 19:45

ffs hope shes ok, shrek and an easter egg sounds like a good remedy, are you ok? good luck with the police, i hope they take it seriously, its assult, let us know how you get onxx

princessparty · 24/04/2011 19:47

It is a horrible thing to do to the little girl and the teenagers should quite rightly be brought to book.But I really am a bit surprised that so many people think it is weird sinister and pervy.Did none of the boys go round 'debagging' when you were at school?

b1uebells · 24/04/2011 19:55

Oh gosh OP, how did it go with the police?

MadamDeathstare · 24/04/2011 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puddingface · 24/04/2011 20:12

omfg!! i hope your daughter is ok

i would have done the same as you and confronted the parents

never heard of 'de-bagging' though

heliumballoons · 24/04/2011 20:22

Shock Hope your DD is OK.

Well done on calling the police - joke or not it wasn't funny and these lads need to know actions have consequences. I would also say they knew it was wrong/ bad thing to do (even if they thought it funny). Your 7yo knew so they must.

Just Sad for your family.

Hope it all went OK with the police?

CoolYerBoots · 24/04/2011 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn