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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fuming and shaking, please hold my hand

149 replies

Saw444 · 24/04/2011 12:47

Will keep it short

Have namechanged as this will get me recognised

Dd (7) was playing with her little friends at the small park next to the house I can't see it from the window but if I walk to the side of the house I can talk to her without shouting it's that close

She ran in with her friend looking frightened a while ago and I asked what wad wrong, turns out that two teenagers had been playing on the bike ramp next to it started talking to the little ones then one of them had pulled down her shorts while the other filmed it

She said her pants "got stuck on her bum" so never came fully down

I ran out the house and seen the boys disappear beyond the park and recognised one of them as the older brother of one of dd,s school mates

He is at least 14

I have been to the door and demanded they get there boy home now and check his mobile, shouted a few things I prob should not have done then came home and dh has called the police who we are waiting on arriving

I am furious, a young child I could understand even though I would still have spoke to the parents but 14!!!!

Dd seems fine, we never made a big deal in front of her, told her she was a good girl for knowing to come in and tell me and she is now watching shrek eating a Easter egg

I don't know what else to do

OP posts:
olibeansmummy · 24/04/2011 14:14

Oh what a horrible thing to happen :( good on you for calling the police

LDNmummy · 24/04/2011 14:15

Wow Mumofaflump, I need to remember that for the future Blush

Glad they can retrieve the info, I think this is just awful and 14 or not, these children should know that what they did was abhorrent.

Goblinchild · 24/04/2011 14:19

Or possibly beesimo because they have been raised in a culture where the law is defined by how hard you are. So your lads and OH swagger around defending their women with their fists or whatever else comes to hand against real or imagined slights. These lads do vile things because they have no moral compass, just an understanding of the fact that they are bigger, stronger or whatever, until someone else comes along to beat that out of them.
That's not the way to build a sense of values and responsibility in anyone.
Wild justice should have no place in a civilised society.

LDNmummy · 24/04/2011 14:19

Oh and tell your DH to stop being angry at you OP, you were distraught and acted out of anger for your child. Now is the time to stick together and sort this out the best way possible, not be angry at each other.

I agree with Beesimo that kids now think they can do this and get away with it. There is no discipline in this country anymore.

Feenie · 24/04/2011 14:20

I know exactly what my DH and my lads would do to the culprit

Tell me how this piece of 'advice' is supposed to help the OP, exactly?

LDNmummy · 24/04/2011 14:20

But also with Goblinchild about the wild justice not being constructive to society. I'm going to stop sporadically posting now Blush

beesimo · 24/04/2011 14:33

Goblinchild

My DH and the lads do not swagger round thumping other men they keep me and the rest of our family in the round tower of their hearts, which means they would not stand for anyone harming or abusing us. They are not mad dogs they are decent brave loyal men. My DH has never raised his hand and none of the lads would hit a lass either they would think it despicable.

i honestly think that you are so intent in seeing masculine men who have the desire to protect their loved ones as some kind of monsters its blinding you to the facts. As for having or not having a moral compass well only God can judge me on that

beesimo · 24/04/2011 14:34

never raised his hand to me

ObscureReference · 24/04/2011 14:34

Shock Your poor DD! And well done on calling the police!

Feenie · 24/04/2011 14:46

You haven't answered my question, beesimo.

BigSooz · 24/04/2011 14:48

Your poor DD. I'm glad you called the police. These boys should be made aware of how very serious this is. They have frightened and abused a small child. Who would find vidoe footage of a 7 yr old having their pants pulled down funny? Angry Idiots. Their parents should also be made aware.

thumbbunny · 24/04/2011 14:55

I hope the police go around and sort them out! They probably will have deleted the pics but they're going to get a horrible shock when they find out they can be retrieved.

I don't at all blame you for going round to the parent's house but agree you would have been better leaving it to the police.

I hope your DD is ok, poor little girl. :(

Clytaemnestra · 24/04/2011 15:03

I may be being overly "daily mail", but attempting to take a photograph of a naked 7 year old comes under creating child pornography doesn't it? If they bluetooth it to anyone then they're distributing child pornography. The police should take it very seriously, and I think the teenagers could be in a world of trouble.

I have no idea whether it was sexually motivated or just cruelly motivated, but I can't summon up any sympathy for them. 14 years old is old enough to know that they're behaviour is totally wrong and not normal.

Tenacity · 24/04/2011 15:03

I wonder if I am the only one who can see the sinister aspects of this incident? I don't think this is just bullying alone, it is quite weird and sinister. I would'nt be surprised if these boys have done it to another little girl beforeSad.
O.P I think you did the right thing reporting this promptly to the police, and I hope that there is a satisfactory outcome.

I do not agree with others who suggested that the police might frighten the boys into not doing this again. I hope I am wrong, but I don't think that will somehow change the boys' behaviour, they will probably become more cunning and sly.

thumbbunny · 24/04/2011 15:06

I wouldn't be happy letting DD go round that particular little girl's house again though, that's for sure, just in case her brother is there.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 24/04/2011 15:08

How can people say it was not sexually motivated!??? He took a picture of her priate parts...or tried to. Not her ears....not her arms....her private parts. He is 14! Not 4!

TethersEnd · 24/04/2011 15:12

I had originally meant "This is a sexually motivated assault on a small child." to mean that this is how it could be recorded by the police.

However, the more I think about it, the more I do think that this was a sexually motivated assault on a small child.

I work with teenagers with emotional and behavioural difficulties, and am no stranger to anti-social and criminal behaviour, but this behaviour would ring alarm bells for me. To want to humiliate a much younger child in this way- which is sexual IMO- is very concerning. Many of the young people I know with quite extreme behavioural issues would be disgusted by this.

I do not believe that this was teenagers 'larking about', and I think it does a disservice to the victim to believe that it was. The boys' behaviour is extremely concerning and needs tackling. Any message that this is 'normal' (on a par with happy slapping) teenage behaviour allows them to pass of their crime as tomfoolery, which is unacceptable.

TethersEnd · 24/04/2011 15:13

Exactly, Skinitting- they did not push her over, they deliberately targeted her in a sexual way.

StewieGriffinsMom · 24/04/2011 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 24/04/2011 15:19

Exactly Tethers my first thought was that he has seen or been a victim of something himself...as in photographed in a sexual fashion.

14 is too old to be doing this in innocence...this is the age where those teens who have the disposition, are taking suggestive or naked pics of their peers and posting them on FB....he sounds socially inept and a 7 year old girl was all he could target.

If he were younger as in 10 or 11 one could almost hope that it was a stupid mistake....a prank gone wrong...but at 14? Nah. Filthy thing to do.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 24/04/2011 15:19

This is awful. I am so sorry. I hope you get listened to by the police.

SugarPasteFrog · 24/04/2011 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loopylou6 · 24/04/2011 15:36

This is beyond disgraceful :( hope the police paste the dirty little bastards

gordyslovesheep · 24/04/2011 15:40

well done for handling it so calmly - your DD will thankyou - I have been through similar x

It is sexual assault and should be treated as such - sorry I am not normally a 'peedow emerguncy' fanatic but studies do show that people who abuse children begin at age 12/13/14 so if it is followed up by the law it may offer help to him as well and prevent future more serious behaviours

your poor dd - well done her for having the guts to tell youx

TheOriginalFAB · 24/04/2011 15:44

I am so sorry for you that you have had this happen to your precious child. IMO you will be more affected by this than your child if you can manage to keep it in the naughty boy was being stupid for her benefit while you and the police will have stronger views.