to wonder about obesity

[crashingwaves]

Please, please, PLEASE don't think that this is a fat-bashing thread, I hate it when people do that and I'd never ever do it myself.

The thing is, I love food, I do like nice food and I do overeat on occasions. My BMI is 'overweight' - I could do with shifting a stone - I'm most definitely not a size 8 smuggie person.

What I'm wondering about isn't even people a fair bit bigger than me. But really, really large people (I'm thinking around the 20 stone + region) Isn't it quite, well, difficult in a way to maintain and gain weight at that size, as you really would have to be eating an awful lot (unless a medical reason, I realise things like PCOS can contribute.)

I suppose I was wondering as my friend has a friend who is only 21 and weighs 18 and a half stone - to be honest I think she is in denial a little bit as she says things like "Oh I know I don't look this big" when to be honest she does - I understand that - but given that at that size it is fairly easy to make small changes and still lose weight, I guess I just wonder why people don't. That did sound quite bitchy and judgemental and I'm honestly trying hard to avoid that.

I can totally see how people get big, I've "been there" myself but I guess what I mean was when the scales hit 13 stone I thought "f*ck!" and went on a diet - surely if the scales hit 20 stone you would ...?

I probably deserve a flaming - can I just say mega apologies if I DO offend you as I honestly don't want to do that!

so long as the female can open her legs wide enough for the male to penetrate then there is no issue.

KM if you lst a stone you'd disappear!

I'm 5'11" and a size 16 if i'm 12 stone and look fat, this if you're tall toned stuff is not always the case.

so long as the female can open her legs wide enough for the male to penetrate then there is no issue.

That comes second to the bum wiping comment for funniest post of the day.

LOL im much bigger than a size 16 (20-22) I Have no issue with day to day things I just look like shit and if my boobs get any bigger they'll have a place spot on google maps.

Don't fret so lasses. Just been talking to my DH about my weight gain and he bloody loves it says I am all soft and warm like a ripe peach I think things are going to be hotting up at the old homestead once the bairns have gone out to their mates.

Ooh I can hear him having a shave any minute now the Old Spice will be going on!

"so long as the female can open her legs wide enough for the male to penetrate then there is no issue."

yuk

For the record Tyzer you sound (from your post) extremely unhappy and in denial.

Erm. No. I believe you misread most of what I posted - including where I said your comment about Dawn French was unpleasant. I didn't use the word 'unkind', you did - but since it's now out there, well, actually, I do think it was an unkind comment.

Here's the tip. Imagine yourself saying it to the person's face. If you wouldn't want to do so, it's probably not a nice thing to say.

Now, the reason I am no longer unhappy with my size is because I have accepted it. My friend has lost the weight. She looks better. She's not bloody happy, in fact, most of the time she'd freely agree that she feels deprived of the things she loves.

Life is too short to say 'no' to everything. And as for the health issues - yes, I might die sooner than her. But I'd rather get 50 happy years under my belt than live to 70 and spend 30 of them miserable.

Why is there the prevaling attitude amoung people who don't want to lose weight that slim people must be pickign at lettuce leaves and be miserable? Why make such a show of 'oooo i love life, look at me eating whatever I want, I never say no' to justify why you're much better off? You'll lose weight when you're good and ready, but to make out you're somehow living a more full life because you choose to eat cake? No. Stop kidding yourself.

Well you may think it's unkind but I don't.

It's an honest point that I'm making. She is morbidly obese and may well look 'fantastic' in black baggy clothes but certainly not so in the nude.

Life is too short to say 'no' to everything. And as for the health issues - yes, I might die sooner than her. But I'd rather get 50 happy years under my belt than live to 70 and spend 30 of them miserable

I am not sure how old you are now, but I bet when you are 45 you will not be thinking that way

Eating healthily and exercise does not mean you are miserable. You can eat fantastic food while keeping weight off, or losing it.

There is no need to be on a strict restricted diet for life once you have reached a healthy weight, you can then eat anything in moderation, just not stuff yourself with junk every day and end up back where you started.

I'm a fat fat fatty, have been since 2001, piled on weight when I got a car (drive thru's, no walking everywhere) and crept up to a really stupid weight. I wasn't really 'aware' or it was often just pushed to the back of my mind, I would get upset if someone called me fat, would look at photos and hate myself.

I self harmed when I was younger, getting fat was me wearing my self loathing and hurt.

In Jan, having lost a stone alone, I decided to join WW, I'm now 2.5 stone lighter for it, and continuing to lose. I've gone from Class II obese to Class I, and just 16lbs from being 'overweight'.

I don't believe one can be fat and happy totally, your self worth is reduced and it's hard to be comfortable.

My eating habits are now controlled, I've learnt about portion control and exercise. I know how far I'd have to walk in order to burn off a Crunchie and that's enough to know I'd rather not have it lol

I speak only for myself. I tell you only how I feel. I cannot make you believe me and what's more, I don't have to. You eat and live the way that makes you happy, so do I. I really cannot see why so many of you trouble yourselves about the weight that others carry.

Sorry Tyzer, but I can see why others have said some of the things the way they have. The way you talk about the jacket potato with cheese... it sounds like you might be investing too much into the satisfaction you get from food. At the end of the day it's just fuel. It shouldn't matter that much.

I wonder if it's like dogs, you know how we have to teach a dog it's place in the household, no matter how much we love them, don't spoil them & let them get big ideas? I think rel. with food might be like that, no matter what the little feelings are in our heart, food needs to be well down the list of things we get joy out of.

What I'm saying isn't about your body size, if you put food in its proper place in your life you might not shrink at all. But you still would probably get more satisfaction overall out of life, I suspect. When I had an eating disorder issue I used to tell myself "Okay, I'll binge later, so don't worry about that, but in the mean time I'll do one little thing to fix a problem in my life" and the weird thing was that the more confident I became about fixing my problems or worries, the more likely I was not to remember or be bothered about getting my binge later, after all. There wasn't any self-denial.

Exercise is the key.
I eat whatever I want - but I run about 20 miles a week and am able to stay rougly the same weight.

However, when I had surgery and wasn't able to exercise - I still ate the same and piled on nearly 3 stone in six months.

I love food too much to go with out - so exercise is the pay off for me.

I am a foodie, in the sense that I love cooking, I love trying new recipes and new foodstuffs, and can spend hours wandering around food markets..

We eat some really fancy and creative meals, (not trying to be smug, but just making the point that healthy certainly does not mean boring and tasteless).

Food is a very focal point in my life. I love it, and eating out is one of my biggest pleasures in my social life.

I think it is all about training your eating habits and not seeing food as your enemy, you need to see it as fuel for your body. If you educate yourself as to what IS bad for you if you regularly snack on it, ie chocolate, cheese, pizza... you can still eat those things, but as treat.. or adapt it to a low fat version.

I was given a recipe for low fat donner meat last week, and just tried that out.. it is delicious, and very easy to make.

People dont need to ban carbs, just eat them at the right time of day, ie breakfast, not at 11pm just before you go to bed.

I never mentioned a jacket potato with cheese!!!

I spoke about my friend ordering the same meal regardless of the menu choices. This is because she will only order what she considers to be 'safe' food.
It just happened to be a jacket potato and beans.

My point was about the restrictions she's placing on herself - and still places on herself, despite having lost all the weight.

*Well you may think it's unkind but I don't.

It's an honest point that I'm making. She is morbidly obese and may well look 'fantastic' in black baggy clothes but certainly not so in the nude.*

No. It's not an 'honest point you're making'. It's your honest opinion you're expressing. And she doesn't 'certainly' not look fantastic in the nude. Again, it's only your opinion.

THAT's my point. You have the right to hold whatever opinions you like, of course. But you don't have to express them as fact.