to wonder about obesity

[crashingwaves]

Please, please, PLEASE don't think that this is a fat-bashing thread, I hate it when people do that and I'd never ever do it myself.

The thing is, I love food, I do like nice food and I do overeat on occasions. My BMI is 'overweight' - I could do with shifting a stone - I'm most definitely not a size 8 smuggie person.

What I'm wondering about isn't even people a fair bit bigger than me. But really, really large people (I'm thinking around the 20 stone + region) Isn't it quite, well, difficult in a way to maintain and gain weight at that size, as you really would have to be eating an awful lot (unless a medical reason, I realise things like PCOS can contribute.)

I suppose I was wondering as my friend has a friend who is only 21 and weighs 18 and a half stone - to be honest I think she is in denial a little bit as she says things like "Oh I know I don't look this big" when to be honest she does - I understand that - but given that at that size it is fairly easy to make small changes and still lose weight, I guess I just wonder why people don't. That did sound quite bitchy and judgemental and I'm honestly trying hard to avoid that.

I can totally see how people get big, I've "been there" myself but I guess what I mean was when the scales hit 13 stone I thought "f*ck!" and went on a diet - surely if the scales hit 20 stone you would ...?

I probably deserve a flaming - can I just say mega apologies if I DO offend you as I honestly don't want to do that!

squeakytoy - i might have a look at biggest loser I have never watched it!
I have been using sparkpeople.com my husband has lost two stone but I have only lost 8 pounds since starting :( which is annoying since we eat the samelol.

for me, I know and am aware of the basic equation of calories in vs calories burned.
However, I seem to allow myself that extra half stone, and convince myself that it is ok, so have gradually added about half a stone a year for the last 7 years and am now nearly 14 stone.

If you had told me 7 years ago that I would be happy to be seen out in public at that weight then I would have laughed at you.

It isn't quite true, I very much want to be lighter than I am, my boobs are a stupid size, I get crippling back ache and I don't like the way I look in 90% of photo's that have been taken in the last 7 years.
But for some reason all of that knowledge doesn't motivate me to get off my arse and do some gentle exercise.

I have started again this week less carbs, more protein, more veg.
but I know this is not the answer but it is a start.

We are very hardworking people (enjoy it ) and I have always been fit and sexy ie curvy size 16 I have always cooked from scratch in the home loads of quality veg,meat, and diary there is also loads of biscuits cake in the house as the men need to fuel up sometimes. Myself and the DDs are buggers for chocalates and ice-creams. It was all good!

Until disaster came off a horse laid up for 3 months and put on 24 pounds the hard fact is its a simple equation you can eat what you want BUT you then have to burn it off with exercise and work. If you want to get weight off there Is only one way to do it.

Eat less calories exercise more simples

The first time I started doing that 30day shred dvd (as raved about on here and deservedly so!), I heard every one of my joints clicking... I ached, and I realised how unfit I was.... as I say, a month in, and I feel so much healthier and fitter... I am not losing a lot of weight, it is really gradual after the first week of losing 8lbs, but my shape is changing as the fat is going and the muscle is building.

I don't look sexy at the moment I look like something off the discovery channel- the snake that swallowed the sheep!!

It's very difficult to maintain very high body weight.

I used to know a guy who was in the 'Blobbendales', which were an obese equivalent of the Chippendales. There were three of them and they had to between them maintain a total body weight of something ridiculous like 80 or 90 stone (can't remember the exact amount). One man was slightly bigger, but even so, my friend had to keep his weight in excess of 25 stone. He found it incredibly hard, with the nightly dancing and gyrating on stage, to keep the weight on, and to sustain his intake of sufficient calories to avoid losing weight.

Luna that is so sad, you have done well to deal with your depression and stop smoking. I don't think anyone is suggesting that people in the middle of a difficult time should be losing weight as well, there will be plenty of time once you are back on top of things. I think the thread was meant to be about the people with no real reason not to lose weight, even if there was a reason they put it on, keeping it on (especially if you are not happy with it) is hard to understand for people who saw a couple of extra stone as a turning point.

I don't agree with the bad way exercise is being portrayed here, the evidence against was based on people eating more when they exercised, which doesn't happen without you knowing. Most people seem to dismiss exercise as it doesn't have immediate effects (even in reverse Asinine) but it is possible to do an entire weight loss plan based entirely on exercise. I gained weight on steroids for arthritis but managed to lose it whilst still taking them by burning 4000 calories a week. I was only 11 stone at my heaviest so this figure wasn't confounded by size. At the end I wasn't just thinner but so much healthier than if I had done it through eating less. Exercise has so many other benefits than the "how many to lose a lb" calculation and the benefits are cumulative with your metabolism increasing as your volume of muscle does, weight loss through diet gets harder the more you lose but exercise gets easier.

I would also like to add that genetics cannot ever be entirely to blame, except for severe illnesses. Take two identical people who only vary by the genes that "make you fat" (one with none, one with all identified gene variants) and you will find approximately a 3kg difference - enough maybe to tip some people into borderline overweight but nobody to obese. If genetics was to blame we would have consistent levels of obesity historically, if anything decreasing, as fertility related complications would have it slightly selected against in an evolutionary sense. I also don't understand the attitude that if you are predisposed to something then you can't do anything, it doesn't apply to any other medical state. Someone with hay fever just takes their meds and doesn't dry bed sheets outdoors, gets on with it, they don't resign themselves to itchy eyes whilst complaining that not everyone has them. Why is this attitude tolerated so much more when it comes to obesity, does it help anyone, isn't it enabling? I don't care what size someone is but I do resent being expected to be sympathetic when I can get away with saying "take an aspirin" to someone with a headache.

I eat healthily and exercise frequently but am not naturally thin. I am in the overweight, not obese, range of BMI. It takes me a lot of work to stay here and it is even more difficult now that I have gone back to an office job but I really try. DH is very slim. I look at DH and my two DDs. DH eats whatever he wants and drinks plenty too, but never gains, as does DD1. DD2 seems to gain easily like me. She is very active and eats healthily. When we're sitting down though, DD1 and DH are very fidgety, whereas DD2 and I can sit quite still. I think they are just burning more calories all the time and maybe this is the difference.

Thank you Asinine.

I haven't given up on being healthy all together, my new diagnosis was only a couple of months ago. If I can maintain my weight through chemo then that's a big plus.

Runner, lack of exercise is a major problem for people on chemo. I can't use my right arm due to lymphedema, can't swim due to chemo, walking anywhere is exhausting due to the cancer in my lungs and the side effects of the chemo.

I struggle to just stay on top of the housework to be honest.

People overeat because of stress/psychological issues. Obesity is not just about eating all your meals at McDonalds, it can be caused by an eating disorder. Anorexia gets a lot more sympathy than obesity but both are essentially eating disorders.

Also, lots of meds cause obesity. My son was on Epilim for epilepsy which causes big weight gains.

It must be great to be the kind of person who genuinely cannot understand why people don't 'pull themselves together' if they are obese. It just means you don't suffer from that particular issue - you should still have empathy for obese people. I can't understand the urge to get pissed/take drugs/gamble/stay with men who beat you - doesn't mean I don't have massive sympathy for people who do these things.

It's not about just being able to diet fat off. The fattest person where I work is the one who lives off Weight Watcher products. She's been doing this for the last 7 years I've known her and she is now 3 stone heavier than when she started!

Sounds like she needs rigorous exercise nightsky unless she's binge eating in private or something.

I read all the way to the bottom just to see if Mamazon would come back as Glamazon! :o

worra She says she does the Wii -Fit at home for exercise.

Wubbly - I'm so sorry to hear about your new DX, - that is a totally shitty thing to happen, thinking of you, much love xx.

I weigh 23.5 stone and am a size 30-32 in clothes. People have been known to say 'Have you always been that big?' to which my natural answer is 'Don't be silly, how on earth would my mother have given birth to me?'. But the real answer is that I have never been a slim adult.
I was a skinny kid until puberty, which coincided with my parents buying a newsagents shop and my developing a serious chocolate habit. I have a sweetandcake tooth, and will happily choose to eat half a family size cake instead of dinner.

In the past, I've been unhappy with my weight, and have tried SW and WW with varying degrees of success. Now, at 37, I have decided that rather than spend the rest of my life trying to be something else, I am going to bloody enjoy being me. I have a good friend who's lost almost four stone on SW over the last 18 months, and while I'm happy for her, I don't want to be the person she's become. I don't want to be the person who always, always, without fail, chooses jacket potato and beans when we eat out. If we ate out five times a week, she'd have jacket and Beans five times a week. I don't want to be the person who says 'Oh no, I'd better not', 'Oh no, don't tempt me' and I don't want to be the person whose friends end up feeling guilty for eating treats in front of me!

The thing that amazes me is other people's reactions to my size. They cannot accept it. For some, it's disgusting - I can only assume that those are the people who would feel disgusted by themselves if they got fat. Like Fabbychic's unpleasant post, really. Fat people are not automatically unclean and smelly, and if FC really couldn't reach her bum at size 16, she ought to get her spine looked at.

But for some, my size is, it seems, a worry .I can't speak for anyone except myself, but for myself - it really isn't your (the general public) problem if I'm fat. You don't need to worry about my health, it's not your business. I don't look at people with grey hair and think 'you could look so much better, I must tell you how to achieve that'. I mind my own business, I let the world get on with minding it's own business, and I think, think, think before I speak. The lady who made the unpleasant comment about what Dawn French must look like naked? That goes for you, too.

This is a timely thread for me as I've been pondering this kind of thing for the last week or so.

I used to have a drink problem. Well, actually I was an alcoholic. Now I'm worried that I'm having similar issues with food. People don't understand how addictive food can be - it just fills emotional holes (depression, boredom, misery, anger). Plus when you're in a relationship with someone who also loves his food then it makes it even harder to sort these issues out.

A friend of mine attends Over-eaters Anonymous and I'm wondering whether I should go with her.

I have struggled with my weight in the past but was slim when I got pregnant (5ft 8 and weighed about 9 stone 11lb). My DS is 6 months old and I'm terrified to get on the scales. I would guess about 13 or 14 stone. I used to be able to go for 10 mile runs, now it kills me to run round the park once (about 1.5 miles).

I need to bloody sort it out. I know I do. It's a hard cycle to break though: "God, I look and feel like shit. Oh, I'll just have a slice of pizza to cheer myself up. God, why did you eat that you idiot, now you feel worse. Oh, well I'll just continue to eat then".

Am determined to sort it.

The reasons I started putting on weight were simple: my portion sizes grew slowly without my noticing and my lifestyle became more sedentary. Now my portion sizes have gone down, I'm much more active with my toddler, I eat whatever I want just much less of it and am losing weight.

To add to my previous post, it's amazing how I got used to eating more. It's like my stomach stretched in size. In addition to eating large portions (all healthy, homecooked food, I might add, but bigger than average portions), I used to eat when I thought I should or when I simply wanted a nice taste in my mouth.

Nowadays I wait until my stomach rumbles, until I am physically hungry, and then stop eating when my stomach feels satisfied or full (I learned this from the Paul McKenna book, but it's basic common sense really).

I haven't gone on any exercise regime though I have more energy and so move around much more.

The weight is coming off quickly and I'm still enjoying chocolate and crisps (when I'm physically hungry for it!).

The lady who made the unpleasant comment about what Dawn French must look like naked? That goes for you, too.

That'll be me and if you read back, it was not unkind. I was merely pointing out to someone who said she thinks she looks fabulous that she has a pretty face and nice hair but was as usual covered up in baggy black clothes...therefore if she were nude, we would see a very different kind of 'fabulous'.

For the record Tyzer you sound (from your post) extremely unhappy and in denial...especially from what you have said about your friend who has lost weight and her choice of food. She wont always have to 'choose the jacket potato' because one day she may well be slim enough to begin enjoying treats for what they are and that is treats.

You admit your 23.5 stone is of your own doing and you're right it is no-one else's business but to say you wouldn't like to be like your friend who has lost 4st in 18 months because she has to watch what she eats is sad to hear. Perhaps if your health suffers from your obesity you'll look back and wish you gave her more thought.

no i shant be changing to Glamazon.

Im not quite as vain as some of my earlier posts would suggest.

I like jacket potato & cheese.... lol. I like salad and vegies even better, but jacket & cheese isn't bad :). Much better than a heavy meal.

I've never wondered about arse wiping, but seriously wondered about heterosexual vaginal sex from the front. Aren't there... er, access issues if one or both of you are VERY obese? Can't be good for one's mental health.

I'm probably going to regret asking that, I may not dare to look at replies, lol.