in wanting to preserve my toddler's dignity?

[LifeIsButtercream]

Or am I being really PFB?

I can't help but want to put myself in DD's shoes, even though she is only 2!

I was with some of my family recently, we were in their lounge (my uncle, aunt, assorted cousins and my parents) and DD needed a nappy change. I gathered her up and the changing bag and started to head out to the bathroom, aunt said "Oh don't worry, just change her here" - indicating to the carpet in the middle of the room. I said it's ok, thanks, I'll take her to the loo for some privacy, aunt scoffed and said "a toddler doesn't need privacy!"

AIBU in wanting DD to have a little privacy when she is being changed? I'd definately not like to strip off in front of my family!

On a similar note, I don't allow pictures of DD to be taken in the bath, if anything is 'on view' or not concealed by bubbles or toys, and I didn't allow anyone to photograph her naked as a newborn (regardless of how cute and dimpled newborns bottoms are!).

Obviously as DD gets older there might be a few pulling-clothes-off, or emergency-potty-stops-in-public-view incidents, but I'm starting to wonder if IABU (or on the verge of giving DD a complex) in trying to maintain some privacy/dignity for DD and avoiding her having to flash anyone, despite the fact she is only very little and as yet does not have any body 'awareness' of her body and what bits are private.

And I definately won't be posting pictures of DD stark naked 'potty training' like a few of my FB friends have done with their bubs.

AIBU or a PFB prude?

I come from a culture where nakedness of children is not considered a problem, plenty of naked children on public beaches which never seems to worry anyone. My friends from home find it gross that we have swimsuits for tiny babies (other than for poo-catching purposes) and signs asking you to keep toddlers covered, they see it as a sign of disgusting sexualisation of young children.

But funnily enough, there do not seem to be any problems with lack of boundaries or failure to understand modesty in older children: they just naturally reach an age where they start to cover up. have never seen a Scandinavian 14yo innocently flaunting their bits on a public beach.

So going from that, it doesn't seem to be training that has to start in toddlerhood to be effective.

And as for pictures, the lesson to be derived from that seems to be not "don't take pictures when they're babies", but "don't show pictures when they are at the sensitive age". I hated pictures of me as a baby when I was a teen, but would have been very upset now not to have those pictures.

Also, just because one 13yo was sensitive doesn't mean another one will be. Ds at 10 is so sensitive to nudity that he finds antique statues at a stately home shocking; dd (14) otoh loves looking at pictures of herself as toddler and doesn't worry at all about whether they are in the nude or not. She will happily get changed in the presence of her parents; ds (who two years ago was happy stripping off wherever) will now scream if his dad or I see him in the act of taking his shirt off. Making assumptions about them would just have been silly.

"My friends from home find it gross that we have swimsuits for tiny babies (other than for poo-catching purposes) and signs asking you to keep toddlers covered, they see it as a sign of disgusting sexualisation of young children."

Totally agree with you here, Cory. I think to either dress children in a sexual manner or to cover them up for 'modesty' is both sexualising children, just in different ways. However, a lot of people on MN in the past have disagreed with me on this point. Interesting that it is a Scandinavian view.

Apparently I hated wearing clothes as a small child - I know all about this as a relation and a neighbour constantly reminds me! It really upsets me. As a result I've never let my children run around naked.

But thankfully my mother never allowed naked snaps - and I've never taken any of my children either.

What? So there might be potentially people who actually wish they had pics of them naked as babies/toddlers . I can understand that they might not mind either way, or not particularly care at all, but I really can't see my children pining away for naked baby pics of them in years to come.

I really don't take my photographs even thinking what people might think about them in years to come!!! I point the camera and snap when I want to.

Couldn't believe some of the opinions here. Whilst I agree with you completely that it is a bit much changing a toddler's nappy in front of the whole family, in consideration of the pongy and yucky possibilities contained within, a child's innocence should be celebrated. They don't care about clothes and what people think of them- that is the adult projecting the sensibilities of an adult onto them. It has been so nice to see my children out in the garden playing in the sand and water during the last couple of days in little or no clothes. We have builders working on our house too, but they have families so presumably are used to young children. Children have a relatively short time in which to be unselfconscious, so why can't we relax and let them behave in a natural way. I thought the comment warning of potential child molesters lurking on every street corner and beach was even sadder. Do people really believe that this is the case?

And what is more natural than taking a photo of them when they are smiling and having fun? It seems a bit uptight to have to think-'they might not like it in 10yrs time'! If they don't like it in 10 yrs time I won't show it.

dh was mortified when his mother sent his friend some photos of him as a naked baby in the bath for a stag do - friend had them printed onto t-shirts for everyone to wear round town. dh was not happy. at all. i have very carefully edited all pictures of my boys to make sure they are never in the same situation.

my mum has also gone through all the family photos and taken out all the ones of me and my siblings naked. maybe over the top - i don't mind seeing them now, but all the nonsense in the press and society's hang ups have obviously got to her.

i am quite body consious and will always change my kids nappies in private if/where i can, and for impromtu potty stops my first thought is always 'who can see us'. i know i am a bit over the top but i do make my kids wait till we are somewhere more private to nappy change/potty. i can't see myself ever letting them run round naked and feel sad in a way that i'm so uptight about it, i don't want them to be as uptight as i am so am being as relaxed as i can be. my oldest is only 2 so i'm sure they'll get to the stage when they're stripping themselves off then i'll have no say in the matter!

I'm sure they will naturalbaby and then you can relax and let them get on with it!

YANBU about the nappy change but YABU about the photos. You have no idea how she'll feel when she's older.

I didn't like them as a child but now that I'm a grown up, i find it fascinating to see my naked body in photographs when I was a baby, toddler. They're in an album which is never taken off the shelf by anyone other than family. It isn't as if she showed them to everyone.

naturalbaby the issue there, though, is not about whether it was a photo of your OH naked, was it? It was about the fact that his mates chose a photo of him they knew he would not want them to put on a T-shirt, and then they put it on a T-shirt. If there were no photos of him as a naked little baby you can be sure they would have found something they knew he would find cringeworthy.