to be so cross about this?

[mckenzie]

DS (9) has always had his hair cut fairly short (ie, no 3 all over or maybe No3 with no 2 at the sides). I've been saying for the last few years how I'd really like him to grow it a bit longer, see how it looks.

DH has been nagging me for ages to get his hair cut but DS and I (and I mean it, DS has genuinely told me that he likes it longer) have 1) not had the time during these holidays and 2) liked it a bit longer.

I have though made an appt for DS for next week with my friend who is a barber to help us decide on a style to aim for and to trim it up.

(if you're still with me, thank you!)

DH has taken the children out for breakfast this morning and I just called to ask him to pick something up for me and guess what? They are not having breakfast, they are in the barbers and DS now has a No 2 .

I know it's only hair but I'm sad that DS, who was looking great with slightly longer hair is now going to look like an urchin again and I'm cross that DH would do that, knowing full well that i really really didn't want it done.

So come on, am I completely over reacting? I know it's just hair but..... {sad]

It is about hair to the DS-it is his hair! The fact that his parents are having a ridiculous power struggle is nothing to do with him.
He is 9yrs old-his parents can let him choose and avoid what they want done with his hair.
His father can go and get his own hair cut short and his mother can grow her own hair long and let DS do whatever he likes with his hair! He seems to be some sort of accessory for the parent!

I think that's a bit unfair to the OP. She hasn't kicked off over it and has been very measured in her response to her husband. But the fact remains that he disagreed with her and instead of coming to an agreement with her, he took the boy to the barbers and lied to his wife about where they were going and did what he wanted regardless of how his wife (and maybe his son) felt about it.

He should have asked his child if he liked his hair longer, that is what the OP did. She was respecting the child's opinion. Sounds to me like maybe the DS is not making a fuss because he's trying to keep the peace in a household where there are some issues.

I think it is good that they talk about this at Relate. It's not just about the hair, and I agree that the 9 year old should have had final say, but it is about respecting each others opinion. Here, he didn't like what the OP was intending to do, so in an underhand way imposed his choice, leaving the OP with none.

Would DS give an honest opinion to his mother if he knew that she wanted it longer?
I agree that there are issues that need to be resolved that are not about hair. If I was the DS I would be annoyed that my parents were acting like 2 yr olds over something that could easily be resolved by asking me, in such a way that didn't make me take sides. Poor DS is in a horrible position hurting one parent whichever way he decides.
I don't know why they ever got into it anyway-he is 9yrs old and not an accessory to look good when out with them.