Sorry posted this in Relationships but realised it was more of an AIBU. Namechanged due to DP knowing my usual username.
A few weeks ago I went on a night out with girls from work. It was the first night out I'd been to since DP and I got together. He nagged and nagged me to allow him to pick me up afterwards even though it would have been far easier for me to get a lift with my friend's boyfriend (who had offered to pick us both up and drop me off at home). I tried to explain this to him but he ended up convincing me and although he didn't tell me what time I had to come home, I did feel restricted all night, as if I had to keep giving him updates on what time we were likely to be leaving. Towards the end of the night he was texting every 5 minutes going on about how late it was getting and how he was worried and can he come and pick me up yet etc. Ok so it was 3am by the time I left but if he'd just let me come home with my friend it wouldn't have been an issue and I could have stayed out until whatever time I wanted and not had to feel guilty over it! We don't live together so it's not as if he was waiting up for me or anything.
So anyway he picked me up at 3am whilst making it clear he wasn't impressed with the time I'd chosen to leave and tried to get me to agree on an acceptable time of 12am for both of us in the future. But I shouldn't have to feel restricted like this! My children were at their dad's house and I had nobody to "wake up" when I got home so IMO I should be free to just come home whenever I want!
The issue has arisen again. This coming Saturday I am due to attend a leaving do for a good friend who I'll probably never see again after. The idea is we all go for a meal and then go for a drink or three. DP has again insisted that he pick me up but it would be so much easier for me to just make my own way home as I don't know what time I'll be leaving and I'd rather not be timed!! He's already started going on about me leaving early so we can spend some time together later in the night but I'll never see this friend again, it's a big deal for her and I do feel guilty leaving early. When I put this to him he makes out that I'm being unreasonable and he's only trying to be helpful but already I'm feeling restricted for this night out.
In his defense we don't see each other often as we both work full time and we're not involving the kids yet so the only time we really get to see each other is every other saturday night when my kids are at their dads and he can stay here. This night out has fallen on one of these weekends so I can kind of see why he's wanting to pick me up but he doesn't seem to realise how restrictive it makes my evening.
Am I being selfish?