AIBU sending my son to bed?

[littlemuckypups]

My 4 year old son is a fussy eater.
He will eat nothing but junk food and so i decided it was time to put a stop to it and start giving him more veg dinners.
He is a very stubborn little boy and if he don't want it he wont eat it.
I have tried making it fun and done my best to encourage him but he is having non

of it and would rather scream and get himself into a state than eat it.
To make things ten times worse i have a short fuse (something im not proud of) and he knows it so its not long before we are rowing.
Today i offered it to him and we sat for a good hour or more waiting for him to eat it and he used every excuse he could not to eat it (he even wet himself) everything was a distraction.
When i gave up i said No sweets or pop just water until tea time.
Then tea time came and we gave him the same again and the same thing happened again, only this time myself and my husband left the room so he had no excuse to be distracted.
To say he got angry would be an understatement!
I ended up in floods of tears in the other room and in the end we had to send him to bed.
I am struggling to come to a solution about this, no sticker chart or negotiating works and i'm Not going to give up because that is the reason i'm having so much problems in the first place.
I don't know how to handle this situation,
any suggestions?

Write two menus and let him choose which you have - that way he's been involved

I would so strongly disagree with that. If the child was a teen with an eating disorder, then yes, that sort of choice is fine. A four year old has to learn to conform, and understand that some things are not negotiable.

It isnt harsh, it is good grounding for life.

"It is that simple though.

Kids get fussy and stuck into junk because that is what they have been served."

Not in our case. DS used to eat everything. He got norovirus at about a year old, and for weeks wouldn't touch anything that wasn't milk, readybrek or biscuits. He's 3 now and can't tolerate anything 'slimy'. Will not eat cheese, pasta, rice, potatoes that aren't mash or chips, any veg or fruit in it's natural form (I hide fruit in cereal and veg in his mash). He won't touch jelly or sweets with a strange texture. He's very very very slowly getting better, but putting a plate of pasta in front of him and expecting him to eat it or go hungry would be downright mean. It isn't a taste thing for him, it's texture, and he'll vomit if he does try something like that. He will eat meat and really likes fish, so all is not lost. He can just about choke down a single pea if there is a star chart and promise of reward involved, but it's literally choking it down. :(

Long haul, he'll get there eventually (i hope)

Just illustrating to you Hecate that it's not always that straightforward, and to you OP that it could be much worse and you can probably deal with it by the means suggested on this thread.

coffeedodger there is no need to use bad language!
I don't mind your entitled to your opinion but there was no need for that!
shame on you!

COFFEEDOGGER you could have said that without swearing.
this is a site for advice NOT ABUSE, she is probably feeling bad as it is without people like you saying things like that!

OP just had another thought-

What about breakfast and lunch, how does he start the day? My DS has some toast/porridge with peanut butter and banana, he then might have another half a peice of fruit like and apple or orange. He has already had more than half of his "5 a day". Also with the pop/juice consumption, can you little by little start watering it down- My DS likes Apple Juice, but has it 20/80 water and only maybe a cup a day. He prefers water thankfully. You could buy fizzy water and then good quality fresh juice and make your DS a "cocktail" with a straw and umbrella in it as a treat with a cocktail stick with some chunks of fruit on it? Just an idea.

Also- coffedodger- c'mon lets be a bit more supportive here, the OP is trying new things and asking for advice, have you read the whole thread?

Coffeedodger I love my son very much and would NEVER scare him into wetting himself! in fact it happend BEFORE he got upset and he WAS actually finding something amusing at the time so don't judge me unless you know me.
Nobody is perfect and he is my first born. If i did not care i wouldn't be on here for advice.

I have same tactic as Maypole and Hecate.I saw DD1 doing this and only wanted to eat sausages,chips and beans.Think I had been ill week before and she decided she liked junk food.

So I served her everything BUT junk food. Put it down in front of her,left her to eat it,didn't offer snacks in between. If not eaten took it away wiyhout question.It took 2/3 days,but she caved in,cos she didn't have control anymore.

She obviously didn't starve cos she is 21 now :)

Oh and I agree re helping thme prepare food.

I agree with one of your earlier posts muckypup. When you list what your boy does eat it's actually not too bad.

Anyway FWIW we do as others have suggested, grate carrots and courgettes into bolognese/chilli (DH even sneaks broccoli in there because I don't like it). Also add a tin of low sugar/salt baked beans to chilli. It makes a small amount of mince go much further too.

Other ideas: Put an egg in your cheesey pasta sauce. Cook spinach in the saucepan with pasta or noodles. If your boy won't eat the spinach itself the pasta would have picked up some of the nutrients.

We try to keep dinnertime lighthearted without any discussion about how much DS is eating. It is hard not to coax him though when he hasn't eaten much and we're worried he'll be awake hungry during the night. If he really hasn't eaten enough we give him a yogurt with cereal stirred in and perhaps a banana.

Good luck muckypup, I hope the new start has gone well.

coffeedodger Your advice to me was very helpful and i appreciate your opinion.

I can only go off my own experiences...

DD is 4 and although she went through phases as any normal child does, I have given her the same meals as my husband and myself are eating since she was weaned and we insist we sit at the table til everyone is finished. She has never been given separate 'child friendly' meals (although I tend to take her portion out before the chillis go in etc).

Also it's worth remembering that some children can take up to 15 tries of something new before they will like it...so if he doesn't like brocolli today, don't write it off and never serve it again, but keep trying!

Don't make a battle out of it, if he hasn't eaten and you are all finished, bin it and don't make a fuss, providing there isn't an underlying cause (like an earlier posters norovirus), he will not starve himself!

Good luck and keep trying...it's worth it, tonight dd will be eating sticky belly pork with chinese spiced greens!

My experience of a fussy 3 yr old DD is that the less fuss I made the better she was.

I'd get her to help with dinner, give her a smaller version of what we ate, and just water to drink throughout the day, no juice or pop at any time. No biscuits or treats during the day either, simply 3 meals a day.

We'd dish up, and if she hadn't eaten by the time we'd finished (we tend not to have pudding except maybe yoghurt), I'd ask her if she was finished, if she said yes I'd simply take it off her. She soon started eating when she was hungry enough. I just ignored the tantrums and tears, took her away from the table at the same time as us and didnt bother fighting with her to eat, if she ate, she ate, if she didn't, no drama.

One thing I did find is that if I did give her juice or pop she'd fill up on that rather than eating.