AIBU sending my son to bed?

[littlemuckypups]

My 4 year old son is a fussy eater.
He will eat nothing but junk food and so i decided it was time to put a stop to it and start giving him more veg dinners.
He is a very stubborn little boy and if he don't want it he wont eat it.
I have tried making it fun and done my best to encourage him but he is having non

of it and would rather scream and get himself into a state than eat it.
To make things ten times worse i have a short fuse (something im not proud of) and he knows it so its not long before we are rowing.
Today i offered it to him and we sat for a good hour or more waiting for him to eat it and he used every excuse he could not to eat it (he even wet himself) everything was a distraction.
When i gave up i said No sweets or pop just water until tea time.
Then tea time came and we gave him the same again and the same thing happened again, only this time myself and my husband left the room so he had no excuse to be distracted.
To say he got angry would be an understatement!
I ended up in floods of tears in the other room and in the end we had to send him to bed.
I am struggling to come to a solution about this, no sticker chart or negotiating works and i'm Not going to give up because that is the reason i'm having so much problems in the first place.
I don't know how to handle this situation,
any suggestions?

Don't forget that kiddie friendly foods can count towards the 5 a day recommended portions of fruit and veg. For example a handful of raisins count as one, as does a glass of pure juice. Also baked beans count as one. If I remember rightly the portions should be different fruit/veg each. A portion is about a handful. I heard recently that any less than 2 portions a day could be slightly harmful.

Also Annabel Karmel books are great for recipes with hidden veg for children, library should stock a copy.

You have had some great advice here. My son is not a fantastic eat but he isn't bad either. We have a few set rules. Any snacks he has in the day are healthy so no choc or crisps but if he eats the majority of his meal he can have choc or a few crisps. We limit junk meals to once a week (apart from his birthday weekend, when he had about three junk meals ha ha!). In addition if he is really having trouble finishing a meal we compromise and tell him he has to have five more mouthfuls or whatever. Any choc or crisps he has with a meal is last in the pecking order. For example if he wants crisps at lunchtime we make him eat his sandwich and fruit first.

Stick at it, don't get upset with him, don't make him sit there for too long. Just stick to the rules and he will soon know after a few weeks you mean business. I wouldn't invoke punishment or negative consequences if he doesn't eat or he will associate food with negativity which could lead to all sorts of problems. And he will eat when hungry.

Good for you for addressing it now. Something that has gotten DS to eat more veggies is that I put a plate of them out with dip right before dinner when he's very hungry. He will usually graze on them. He also likes smoothies made with frozen berries, milk and a banana. Hmm...pizza with lots of veg is a good idea, as someone suggested.

What does he like to eat?

he likes pasta, cheese sandwich's, super noodles, tomato soup, he will eat a small amount of potato and i have recently got him to eat a fish finger, he likes chips and he eats apples and banana's.
He likes toast, porridge, plane cheese n tomato pizza etc.

he wont eat ANY meat he wont eat carrots, peas, broccoli, green beans.

Do you know something? the more i think about it the more i'm starting to think maybe i was wrong? its not all junk is it?

Perhaps i should sit down and wright down a full list of EVERYTHING he does eat.
I have just been upstairs to see him and told him that i was sorry and gave him a big cuddle.
Fresh start tomorrow i think

even something like crinkle cut veg can appeal to kids rather than sliced veg... carrots can be done like that..

cauliflower cheese is very nutritious and tasty, if he likes cheese..

home made burgers, with chopped peppers mixed in are great

get the supernoodles binned for a start, they are rubbish, and no nutrition to them at all.. :)

what do you regularly eat at meal times?

Does he like juice? If he would eat/drink a smoothie you could add carrot juice. What kind of sauce does he like on his pasta? You could puree some other veg in there. When I make DS grilled cheese sandwiches I put some spinach in...he can't get it out one the cheese is melted. :)

thank you squeakytoy your suggestions are appreciated

he likes my husbands cheesy pasta bake lol! in fact he loves cheese

You can grate carrot into tomato soup, and he wont be able to tell the difference.

Spag bol is good, again, grate plenty of cheese on top, and serve it with a bit of garlic bread. Or even chips.

Does he like sausages? decent quality sausages with a high meat content can make great hot dogs..

Now the summer is coming, will he like the idea of having a picnic and eating outside.

Does he have a favourite plate. Again, daft as it sounds, but if they have a plate, maybe with their favourite cartoon character on, it makes the food seem more appetising.

My son dislike red meat but will eat it with gravy. We also don't care if he wants ketchup with everything if that's what it takes for him to eat it.

he wont eat any sausage or any other meat yet, he says "thats mummy and daddy's dinner"
But he has a selection of toy story bowls and nemo plates.
He loves picnics with his teddys bless him.
Grate his veg? that sounds like a clever idea!

Ousel, that's not excellent advice for a four year old's diet - the bran in wholewheat foods saps nutrients, over fills a very small stomach and can cause diarrhoea in the under fives. For a child with a normal and healthy diet it's fine as long as it isn't causing diarrhoea (as it does in ds2) but for a child who is already lacking in a few food groups, it's not wise.

Does he eat eggs? ham?

I have a fruit and veg refusnik. (little bugger)
If you want tips on hiding veg in food I know them all, so PM me if you like. I;m not one for hiding veg in food, but needs must with this stubborn one.

YANBU to send him to bed in this instance if that was the warning. I'd be worried about making food more of an issue though.

Just to demonstrate that I'm not a soft touch, DS went to bed early tonight without stories because he threw his dinner all over the room, did it again after a warning, didn't sit on the step after 2 warnings and hit us a lot while complaining about it - tbh he needed the early night, but I don't think it's a tactic I would use where food is concerned...

One thing that I am learning with DS is that bargaining about food is a massive loser. I'm trying NOT to give him a choice wrt to food (he can pick mash or chips maybe). I'm trying (and it's not always easy) to just give him dinner, and take it away if he doesn't eat it.

Actually, next week it BOOT CAMP.

He 'hates' pasta, and 'hates' cheese (but will eat them at nursery) so I am writing a meal plan for him. A refusnik dinner one night, and one I know he will eat the next.

He has never eaten plain fruit or veg on it's own (well, not since 9mo when he got norovirus) and things need to change.

oooh, ramblings.. sorry

not ham. eggs he only just eats but he is not keen.
I will give him egg and soldiers and he will eat the yellow bit with the bread but i have to push him to eat the white bit.
he wont eat jam or honey either

You can get some great recipes for pasta sauce with hidden veg. Blended smooth there's no telling what's in it :)

Parsnips and carrots can be made into chip shapes too.

Stick some tomato in his cheese sandwiches?

If he likes Super Noodles, how about trying him with a stir fry with noodles? Or a chicken noodle soup? Both can be loaded with veg.

My DC's love a fruit salad - all those colours. DS is 4 too and a complete fruit monster.

Definitely agree that this needs to be an every day thing. Introduce small amounts of veg and phase out the junk. He'll not notice if it's a gradual thing and everyone will be happier :)

I think the time has come to tell him, he is now a big boy, and he is old enough to eat "mummy and daddy" dinners.. you could perhaps by all having the same pizza, but sneak a bit of peppers under the cheese, maybe some mushrooms... serve a slice with coleslaw and a jacket spud..

Has he had any friends over for tea yet? If you can "arrange" a friend who is not a fussy eater, and who could gently rib him a bit if he is being faddy, peer pressure is usually the best pressure there is at that age.

not eating jam and honey isn't an issue at all. Nutella and peanut butter are better nutritionally.

If he eats cheesy pasta then you can add almost anything to that. Does he eat readybrek for breakfast? Puree some fruit and chuck it in there, grating an apple or mushing a banana is easier if he'll tolerate it.

Don't make him eat anything he doesn't want to initially. Eggy bread is good if you want him to have eggs. He has cheese, so protein shouldn't be an issue. Does he eat yoghurts? Check out the protein content on petit filous, you will be surprised.

hth

what about omelettes? they are yellow and you can fill them with all sorts of things, including cheese..

OP It's great that you want to improve your ds' diet. He is a great age to do this, and you've got lots of good advice.

Kids will copy you. If you all sit down to eat together, and the adults and other children are eating and enjoying food, a 4 year old will copy. So if you eat veg and look like you love it, he will follow. Just serve it up, eat, talk about something else and if he doesn't eat, just take it away. He will eat it when he is hungry, and he will be when he doesn't get alternatives. This is how most cultures teach children about food, and most cultures don't even distinguish between kid's food and adult food.

Don't give fizzy or sugary drinks, they are confusing to the palate and make sweet veg taste less sweet. They also fill a child up so they are running on sugar and nothing else. Getting the sugar out of his diet will help with the tantrums. Sweets should be an occasional treat, like once or twice a week.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

i make my DS a "tapas tea" every now and again and we eat it on the floor or in the garden. It constitutes lots of goodies.

olives, cheese cut into match-sticks, veg crudites- peppers, carrots, cucumber, celery, cherry toms- all in shapes and funny cuts, hummus (home made- dead easy), some cold meat/fish- DS loves smoked salmon, ham, roast beef, some nice bread, some cashews or almonds.

It is a really pick pick dinner and DS loves it, I think he thinks we are sophisticated dipping our bread in the hummus.

I make most things from scratch and thus have plenty of veg in-
Spag Bol
Stir Fry with salmon
Chicken and Mushroom pie with leeks
Prawn linguini with red peppers, toms and spinach
beef stroganoff with onions and red peppers
Chicken korma with onions, peas and mushrooms
home made fishcakes- with potatoes, spring onions, parsley.
Chilli and rice with home made guacamole.

We all eat as a family, and if food is refused, then he is to stay at the table till we are all finished, then he may have some fruit, and then get down. If he is hungry later it is more fruit and some toast. Tantrums are ignored at the table and DS knows this, they are few and far between. We only drink water in the house en familia, and booze is for after bedtime!

Other things he likes- sweet potato wedges, half an avocado with a squirt of lime

he probably has fish fingers beans and mash once a fortnight, pesto pasta with peas about the same. Those are our convenience foods.

JarethTheGoblinKing LOL! your not rambling! its nice to feel i'm not alone,
i hope your plan works

Home made fish fingers are so easy to make, just get a fillet of cod or haddock, dip it in flour, dip in beaten egg and roll in breadcrumbs... then shallow fry in olive oil (which IS good for you!) serve with baked beans and you have a good healthy meal.