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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

So what do we think of a bloke who......

78 replies

farkthatforagameofsoldiers · 19/04/2011 18:48

borrows and spends £200 for ONE DAY on the piss! Is this a man who is being a good Father? and putting his kids first?

He spends all his wages in the first week of being paid and contributes as little as he can get away with to the running of the home. If his wife says anything he lays into her calling her "greedy" and a "money grabber". He gives her approximately one third of his wages to pay all bills, food, clothes etc. He keeps the rest for his social life and when he runs out comes back to her to borrow out of the third that he has given her so she never actually has the full amount. She is not struggling excessively but life could be an awful lot better for everyone if he stopped doing this. He is, apparently, fully entitled to do this as he is the wage earner.

So what do we think of this man because I am going to show him this thread.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 19/04/2011 18:49

Why doesnt sh go out to work and earn her own money?

expatinscotland · 19/04/2011 18:49

He's a mother fucking loser is what I think.

I'd leave him in an instant.

scurryfunge · 19/04/2011 18:50

He is a selfish twat.

Sorry, I should be more constructive but that is my immediate thought.

diabolo · 19/04/2011 18:51

I bet you know what most on here will think.

They'll think "leave him now! That is not grown up, husbandly or fatherly behaviour".

nijinsky · 19/04/2011 18:51

Bit of an old fashioned arrangement?

janajos · 19/04/2011 18:51

He sounds like my ex, leave him.

diabolo · 19/04/2011 18:51

squeakytoy are you just nasty on purpose?

unfitmother · 19/04/2011 18:52

He's an arse and she's a fool for staying at home and putting up with it.

expatinscotland · 19/04/2011 18:52

Why would you want to stay with a pisshead who has no respect for anyone and show that as an example to your kids?

bubblecoral · 19/04/2011 18:52

How much does she earn, how much does he earn? If he earns enough to be able to afford to spend a lot of money on a day out, and less than a third of his wages covers all bills and expenses, things can't be that bad?

mandoo · 19/04/2011 18:52

We think he need to tow the line and grow up. Or he will lose you.

I have a very similar OH who spends nearly every Saturday night in the pub plus at least one night in the week.

Quite frankly things aren't great for us right now. It's make or break :(

scurryfunge · 19/04/2011 18:53

Presumably there are good reasons for not working? If so, twat stands.

fattgitttfedupandwantstosleep · 19/04/2011 18:53

He's a selfish childish twat. I know you want to show him this thread, but quite frankly, I cant bother to waste time and energy explaining to him that what he is doing is what toddlers do.

ENormaSnob · 19/04/2011 18:53

Selfish loser who cares for no one but himself.

If you are the wife op I would advise you to get rid.

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 18:53

He sounds delightful.

unfitmother · 19/04/2011 18:54

Oh shite, is the woman you OP? 'fool' was harsh - sorry

Original poster

farkthatforagameofsoldiers · 19/04/2011 18:55

Because she has a disabled child squeakytoy twat

OP posts:

worraliberty · 19/04/2011 18:56

How was Squeaky's post nasty?

I think it was a perfectly valid question to ask before forming an opinion

NotShortImHotCrossBunsized · 19/04/2011 18:56

He sounds like an idiot of man sized, yet boy minded proportions.

To agree to have children and get married then means you don't get to have his and hers money to spend as you like. You become a responsible ADULT and have to act as such.

Man boy isn't doing this and needs to buck his ideas up if DW and DC's mean anything to him at all.

SecretNutellaFix · 19/04/2011 18:57

He is a fucking selfish bastard. Is it all being spent on alcohol or are there other substances in the mix?

washnomore · 19/04/2011 18:58

I wonder what the reaction would be if it was the woman doing this to the man?

My opinion is that 1) it's time for this woman to go out and work. 2) he is entitled to socialise provided he has ensured that there are adequate savings in place to provide security to his family, his children's needs are met and debts are paid. 3) his socialising isn't at the expense of time spent with his wife and children.

He does sound tight when it comes to his family's happiness. My DP loves to indulge the DC or us as a family when he's flush.

davidtennantsmistress · 19/04/2011 18:59

a twat - a shite father. A good father would put his kids first make sure they had plenty & were well provided for, including little treats if they wanted.

Sounds to me he likes the comforts of a home life but the luxury to be single when it chooses. family life isn't like that unfortunatly and he needs to grow up.

Oh and fwiw with the wife, i'd say squirrel away what you can, and don't give anything back IF you're unable to work.

fluffles · 19/04/2011 19:00

he's a twat. clearly.
but why is she married to him? i wouldn't have married a man like that and i wouldn't have become a SAHM - i see that she has no choice about staying at home as she's a carer but that doesn't explain why she married him.

washnomore · 19/04/2011 19:00

Ah cross posted, I understand working's not an option.

Original poster

farkthatforagameofsoldiers · 19/04/2011 19:00

She can't work her child is disabled. Not me, my dsis.

OP posts:

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