To not believe she's had a mc????

[ginmakesitallok]

Some folk will be aware of back story. bit of it here

Anyway - DB phoned last week to say that his DP had had a mc. We were all at a family do this weekend - they were there too, staying overnight. All day Saturday she seemed fine, just her usual self. In the evening (just when the party was getting started and DB was starting to enjoy him self) she said she wasn't feeling well and they went back to their room. I went up to check on how she was (having had 3 mcs myself I know how bad things can be). She says she's got cramps and is bleeding heavily. I ask if she needs anything - does she need pads? She says she only has one left - but she'll be ok (??), I offer her some paracetemol, she says she's on codeine. I explain to DB that folk want to see him and offer to stay with his DP if he wants to go down to rejoin party. His DP then says shes fine and she'll come down. So they rejoin party and are up til wee small hours with us.

SO - why don't I believe her?

Who on earth comes away for the night, miscarrying and only brings 1 pad? Who on earth comes to an all day/night event when miscarrying in a light peach dress? When I was mcing I spent most of my time in the toilet and went through loads of pads etc - She hardly ever visited toilet and seemed to cope with the one pad she had. She was in early preg - about 7 weeks, yet told my Mum that when she'd mced she'd seen the baby with cord etc?? The preg came at a very convenient time for her and she told my Mum that now she'd mced she'd be able to get drunk and enjoy herself (??)

I just don't believe she was ever pregnant.
Would IBU to ask DB more?

oh and i used the line 'at least i can get pissed now' when i was actually dying inside - both times

I don't really buy that you are getting the thread deleted out of possible concern for your SIL.

I think you've just made that up to make yourself feel better, you definitely shouldn't have gone into their room. That was really invasive and inappropriate.

You mentioned your DB is your twin so you two may be more-than-normally bonded but perhaps you could think about this. It does seem way OTT and weirdly inappropriate. Although I understand it may be difficult for you to accept your twin has chosen someone you don't like.

You should definitely back off and let them get on with their lives. The more you meddle the worse you are making things.

She might be a bit dramatic or maybe she is desperately trying to keep you at arms length.....

YOU SOUND A BIT MEAN AND SPITEFUL

Summerbird you have reminded me of saying basically the same thing. I was due my blood results on the day of dad funneral and had to ring during the wake. They weren't ready, I can remember saying it had better all be gone due to the painkillers and wine I'd had

You should back away for your own sanity. You are making yourself sound horrible and I'm sure you are not really.

My cousin is in a relationship with a lying, spiteful witch :) - she does terrible things (really - not imagined stuff!). But he still loves her, she stays with him and thats the way it is. On the flip side, my cousin is no catch. Non of my friends (girls I consider decent!) would touch him with a barge pole. The alternative to him being with his DP is probably being single and then him trying to move back in with my Aunt and Uncle! There are lots of ways to live life and just because you don't have or want a relationship like your DBs doesn't make it any less valid as a choice.

Stop thinking about it so much.

I cant beleive you thought it apropriate to go to her room when she clearly went up there for some peace, you sound like you have no boundries at all. Id have told you to fuck off away.

stayfrosty thanks [smile}

lovebeingabletonamechange i am with you - completely with you - you just 'say' those things dont you as a defence mechanism.

i remember working with a lady years ago who had her 4th miscarriage - she was off work for a while and one of our colleagues said 'you would think she would be over it by now wouldnt you'