To think it will all kick off on here after this is aired?

[MsScarlett]

My mum just texted me to say that tomorrow there is a documentary on BBC3 at 9pm called, "Is Breast Best?".

I predict a bunfight!

thank god you dont work directly with mums.leonie you'd be toxic

do consider getting a mentor or support to moderate your vociferous views

Agrees with scottishmummy. If multiple people are telling you that you're being offensive then perhaps it's time to take stock, Leonie.

I get that you're passionate about your subject but it doesn't make you an expert nor does it give you leave to demean or belittle people less evangelical than you. In fact, you could be contributing to people shying away from seeking help/support because they fear more of the same.

The thing is, if you are going down the route of saying that formula is bad because it does not provide what breastmilk does, then you could say that about loads of things. You could say that if your children ever had a meal that was not completely nutrionally balanced, you were causing them harm. If your budget stretched only to mid range standard sausages, or mid range vegetables and not prime expensive sausages or organic locally grown vegetables you were causing your children harm.
Most mothers know that breastmilk offers fantastic benefits, but most mothers have to make the decision as to whether or not breastfeeding is best for their circumstances. For the record I breastfed Ds1 until he was 7 weeks and Ds2 until he was 4 days and I have never regretted the decision with either. Breastfeeding wouldn't have prevented my Dss autism (high functioning in the case of Ds1 and quite severely low functioning in the case of Ds2). My mum breastfeeding me for a year did not prevent my own Aspergers, nor did it stop my height and weight being so delayed and below average that I had to be monitored and have tests done from the age of 10 to 16.
The fact of the matter is also, that I really could not care aless how other mothers choose to breastfeed, other than respecting their choices.

Leonie, it's not the facts that are the problem, it's the way they are presented

breastmilk is better than formula - yep

a lot more breastfeeding problems can be overcome than people realize - yep

most people that think they haven't got enough milk are wrong - unless someone is actually experiencing that at that exact moment in time, it's just a judgement, you have no idea what their experience was, nor whether they made the right choice or not

people who choose never to BF are being lazy and negligent - offensive, you're not only judging people, you're judging them with prejudice about how you believe they decided, when in fact it could just as easily have been an informed choice, they just reached a different conclusion than you

do you not see the difference?

I have no advice on wording, Leonie, as I have not managed to avoid people making accusations of all sorts towards me! And that's even though my attitude is actually very different from yours!

But one thing would be to imagine what the impact of your words might be, and accepting that being 'honest' is not a justification for upsetting people.

I don't think there is any guarentee people won't think you have said something you didn't and get angry with you, though - I have had a few examples of this just in the past couple of days.

Here here tabulah.

bullet - thing is, bm isn't "amazing" - it's the norm! I think of it as the default, so feeding bm to my baby enabled him to develop as he should. Breastfeeding doesn't mean they won't get ill, but formula means their rik of getting ill increases.

risk!

Have got one tip, though, Leonie - I wonder if you are a bit competitive in some ways in debates and discussions? because I think you said elsewhere you like to 'win' the argument.

I am a bit like that, in real life, too.

I have discovered it does not matter here and I do walk away sometimes, even if I know I could make a real killer comment that would certainly mean I have convinced my opponent and stunned them into totally renouncing what they previously said :) Not. I just get told I am being patronising! Someone told me last week 'dont you know that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?' (Which it is not, of course!)

So I suppose I am saying 'walk away' sometimes.....about to take my own advice here and now!

Having read back on some posts i honestly think LeonieDelt is getting a hard time for just being honest about certain facts about bf and for just saying how she feels - is she not allowed to say what she feels
Without being vilified? I can't see where she has said anythig to anyone to make them feel inferior I really can't. Why is this lady not allowed to be honest about how she feels? I dont understand that. If you dont agree with her that's fine but let her voice her opinion she is not putting anyone down

I didn't say it was amazing Cat98. I'm just saying that given the very real disabilities that my sons have, I have more concerns about that than anything connected to their receiving formula as opposed to breastmilk.

I know all the benefits of breastfeeding. I agree with all the benefits of breastfeeding. I just chose not to do it.
My body. My choice.
I am very black and white about that.

tiktok... Actually, perhaps people would prefer to get the information themselves, online or from professionals they are in contact with. Perhaps there is a difficulty inherent in fora in that this is a chatboard essentially of peers, yet some have experience in a subject being discussed (and many more profess to having this) and instead of being a peer discussion it quickly becomes a lecture.

I don't know this to be the case but it's what I think. This is just a chatboard and there are some posters who I think, feeling a bit insignificant in RL, feel the need to blast their opinions in the faces of everybody else - not just once but many times on the same thread. That is not helpful, it's hectoring and if anything, can just turn people away from any useful information provided.

?they don't have the grit to get on with it and sort out the problems. ?

?Lack of education could be a factor?

?but I made that commitment to them.? Inference ff mothers are not comitted to their dc

?My dogged persistence and refusal to 'give in.' In the same way that women choose to give birth naturally? I didn?t chose to have an emergency c-section either. I would be dead if I hadn?t. World would be a fucking better place if I had.

?What is difficult about it?? With regard to ff the guilt of failing at bf.

?women who choose not to bf do so for selfish reasons?

hairful above is a copy of my post from much further up the thread which gave some of the quotes which contributed to reducing me to tears and me getting in a state. I am not going to look through the rest of the thread but there are other statements which have got my hackles up due to the way they are worded more than the information they contain. I don't believe anyone has issues with the facts more the way they are being presented makes them sound offensive IYSWIM. In my more recent posts I have given an example of a kinder way to say something to illustrate my point. Can't speak for anyone else.

"Which proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that people are gonna get pissed off no matter how much care you take."

Well some people will, but then some people get pissed off at the oddest things - or have you not read the rest of AIBU? rofl

'The Truth' some things don't have one...facts are easy, it is a fact that breastmilk is better than formula

It is not a fact that mothers who FF are lazy and negligent, that's just your opinion.

Somewhere in the middle there are things that are facts, but the situation you're using them for isn't helpful, like that most women who think they don't have enough milk when someone's said that they didn't have enough milk for a child that is now in secondary school, then it just becomes opinion again - because you have no idea what the facts were.

"I know all the benefits of breastfeeding".
I'd argue against that if you are comparing not breastfeeding to not eating organic sausages, as implied in you previous post!

It is true that some people will be offended for odd things but that really doesn't justify being nasty. If you take time to think about how you present things then you reduce the chance of causing offence and if someone is offended then you are in a good place to both defend yourself and be defended. Furthermore the person who is defended is more likely to be able to reasoned with. If that person falls into the category of someone who cannot be appeased then at least you have not done anything wrong, been malicious, unthinking or unkind IYSWIM.

leonie you confuse your vociferous,truth shock,tell it as it is, with ability to have balanced discussion.you allow your own high expressed emotions and sympathy (never good) to justify your i tell it as it is,and if truth hurts-tough

in rl hopefully mums will get an more impartial,balanced presentation of facts.and support to feed however they chose.and if that is ff from outset so be it.better they get safe advice on preparation and storage than no good advice

I really dont see why people get so hung up on how someone elses baby is fed unless it is a neglected and not fed or fed harmful things. Neither BF or FF is hamrful and just cos you do one or the other does not mark you as good/better parent IMO. Indeed a parents might provide the best nutrition/clothes etc but no boundries and turn out DC's that are little shits.

I just dont get it.

Not everyone thinks the way you do namechange I have been accused of not loving my baby because I ended up ff and thats's in RL not on here.

It's about choice, lots of mothers want to breastfeed but give up because of difficulties. Also if more babies were breastfed the nhs would save millions. That's why people care.

Xstitch - like I said before please don't think ANYONE of sane mind thinks anything negative towards you - you really must not x

I think this is a difficult subject - I'll be honest and say my personal opinion is that bf should be the norm where possible - an I stress - where possible! But that is just my opinion and for women who really wanted to bf an could not I only have the most heartfelt hugs and underatanding - not judgements not at all

Please xstitch - stop feeling bad you did so much to try - you were bloody well amazing lady! X know that please!